"Shades of Grey" _ Hype

[NinaBrooke]

Hi Ladies and Gents,

Can anyone explain to me (maybe a sociologist M.-)))) what the fuzz about this book "Shades of Grey" is. Don`t get me wrong, but a) there are numerous books in a similarly pathetic style written already out there. They are similarly cheap and stylistically and philosophically poor wanking material. None of it has been successful. Is it just about the right timing? Sacher Masows "Venus in Furs" is indeed a more pleasurable and interesting read, containing philosophies indeed. Well, the guy got at least the "Masochism" named after him, but I don´t see the book hyped.

Feminist Alice Schwarzer from Germany points out that the hype of the book is partially to be explained, because there is a tendency towards "male identity insecurity" nowadays in society, since emancipation has been rising to success, Germany already has a female chancelor, and sometimes men tend to be more comfortable getting back in time and "imagining women crawling on all fours and being submissive to them". So that might be one point in the explanation on why oh why such a badly written book is hyped so much. (Of course I am jealous as well, man - I assume all of us escorts - could have written better literature left-handed and with a blind eye..... lol

Schwarzers comment about male insecurity reminds me of the often seen tendency, that men , who have dominant wives, or deal with important women in business connections seek submissive women in the are of demi-monde. I admit to have witnessed these tendencies to be true.

What do you guys think?

[daty/o]

Poorly written mommy porn. It's success just underlines how desperate we are for sexual stimulation.

[JDNorthface]

Good post and good question. I have no idea about the sociological winds blowing this book into mainstream thought but no doubt it is happening. I do think things like this, properly analyzed, give a good glimpse of the future.

[NinaBrooke]

thank you guys, I am glad I am not alone with my perception.

[Harley Diablo]

Well ladies and gentleman, I actually read the whole book and I think it was well written and cant say I would read the other two but, I can see where some people not in the hobby and married with the standard once a week sex outlet may get into it and enjoy it and give the so some ideas.
Just my opinion.

[Guest122213]

My friend was into this book. She is getting her boobs done and in recovery wants to read this. I told her instead to warch Secret Diaries of a Call girl. You can youtube it and see the advertisement for it. I love it, especially the first season. Softcore porn.. hmmm

[Qziz]

At the risk of being overly political, much of the book's success can be attributed less to the overtly sexual content and more the interactions of social/economic class - Christian Grey is the stereotypical voracious amoral 1% titan that Ayn Rand swooned over, the book's not-very-thinly-disguised subtext is the commodification of sex and love, and in today's world younger women are encouraged to seek that out.

Schwarzer's analysis would make sense if men were actually buying the book, but it's almost exclusively a female phenomenon and should be examined on that basis.

[Biggreentractor]

I dont care the whys or the psycho analyzing, but I do know my school teacher wife of 28yrs for the first time owns a 4pc set of ropes and cuffs, a blindfold, Ben Wa balls, a vibrating butt plug, a ball gag, and a new mp3 player just for the bedroom. she would ask me to order these at different stages of the book. shes not into the whipping so no riding crop,,,,,yet

[JDNorthface]

Originally Posted by Biggreentractor

I dont care the whys or the psycho analyzing, but I do know my school teacher wife of 28yrs for the first time owns a 4pc set of ropes and cuffs, a blindfold, Ben Wa balls, a vibrating butt plug, a ball gag, and a new mp3 player just for the bedroom. she would ask me to order these at different stages of the book. shes not into the whipping so no riding crop,,,,,yet

My God. Tell me again why you're here...

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by Qziz

At the risk of being overly political, much of the book's success can be attributed less to the overtly sexual content and more the interactions of social/economic class - Christian Grey is the stereotypical voracious amoral 1% titan that Ayn Rand swooned over, the book's not-very-thinly-disguised subtext is the commodification of sex and love, and in today's world younger women are encouraged to seek that out.

Schwarzer's analysis would make sense if men were actually buying the book, but it's almost exclusively a female phenomenon and should be examined on that basis.

Very very very interesting! Thanks for that analyzis! I was not aware of the fact that it`s almost only women who pursue the book (Maybe it`s differenbt in europe, we see, I will look into that). That is indeed a very interesting idea. Maybe it`s because romance novels on whatever level have always been femaile agendas, and shades of grey with the writing style (I consider semi-romantic wanking portrayals) relates to the. Hence the mass hype.

TGhe second point, the point of commodification of sex and love is a very thought triggering one. It makes me come back to the ideal of capitalism being intertwined with the idea of "judging" and "comparing" sensual experiences on sliding scales - like reviews for example, do.

I see indeed the point of commodification strongly supported, and maybe in times of capitalistic crisis it must be interesting to feel at least some "control" over something.

What still strikes me as interesting is the fact that there are indeed numerous other books ouit there (I am travelling right now, can`t look at my library), but I remember some french writers, and females and others (some of them true intellectuals) also having written such similar books, and they have not had the hype like this book had.,

Maybe this book is so famous because it is so "simple" and catgers to the easy ideas of the usual "male-female" dichotomy, and usual power structures (male teacher - young female student - on le4ssons in sex and life, that said), and the idea of "forming a personality" like Pygmalion did.

What I do find interesting is, that Marquis de Sade and his literature was severly critizised for his mysogynic aspects in it, which are similar to shades of grey. It means that, even though the outcome seems to be pleasurable for the females, there is an aspect of "forcing" someone into an experience, which leads to another aspect of abuse of Power (old man - young woman) than it is usually common in Areas of BDSM, where most often the submissive one is the real dominant person, as he/she decides what and how to nplay... At least this is my experience and the realsm in which I participate in such enterprises

As for the ones , who enjoy the book and experienced additional pleasure through it, that is really great, too. In the end it does not really matter how, but "if" we briden our horizon ;-).

[Qziz]

Anyone who posts here with any regularity who hasn't thought about the commodification of romance is doing a significantly poor job of self-analysis.

[Guest032516]

Originally Posted by Biggreentractor

...but I do know my school teacher wife of 28yrs for the first time owns a 4pc set of ropes and cuffs, a blindfold, Ben Wa balls, a vibrating butt plug, a ball gag, and a new mp3 player just for the bedroom.

Now all she needs is a good-looking young billionaire to fuck her...

[John Bull]

I read half of it. Enough self-torture, sez I. Worthless as porn and not much better as literature. I won't bother with the movie and followup books.

[Grifter]

I think one aspect that hasnt been mentioned here is that this is fan fiction based roughly on Twilight. So you get the somewhat unreachable damaged man and the innocent woman dynamic except hes a dom and they do some serious fucking. Oh it puts a positive spin on the whole dom/sub thing that makes the bored housewife feel like safe experimenting with it. Which is amazing for bored husbands out there.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by Qziz

Anyone who posts here with any regularity who hasn't thought about the commodification of romance is doing a significantly poor job of self-analysis.

I don`t see posting on an escort board as necessarily thought triggering for commodification of romance. Romance IMHO are values set very much aside from boards like this, commodified or not. That is yet another interesting discussion. I am not saying romance cannot be commodified within personal relationships (hence the commodification of personal skills and human individual quirks into subserviants of "needs", and easy to be replaced by another "deliverer")

As an escort, I personally don`t "sell" romance, nor love. Nor do I think any other escort who uses their brain for thinking, does. I have seen some - preferably US-based - providers connecting escorting with romance, - but critizised this aspect severly - as I consider that kind of not very intellectual, since romance is not related to services one buys and another one gets paid for - what kind of romance would that possibly be? - but otoh I am probably too european - (we don`t so easily attribute love and romance to everything, like I have seen it happening in the USA, where there is only one word - love - for various meanings in europe are many words for....so I assume it might be taken too lightly on your part of the continent, but I might be wrong, too, it`s just a personal impression ...)

- and not lacking proper self analyzis to make a distinction between commodification of romance, escorting, psychotherapy and secret affairs, or amour fou`s. (On that note: I don`t think my psychotherapist necessarily thinks of commodification of romance, either, when consulting with his clients....Maybe you`re probably making this assumption because sex is involved, and henceforth relating it automatically to a "romantic philosophy", which I consider to be a typical sex-negative assumption, because it means that sex is only allowed in some contexts - aka contexts of love and romance , which is certainly not the case in the demi monde ......correct me if I am wrong, I don`t want to lie words in your mouth ....)

I think if you charge for being a secret in someone`s life (be it as an amour foui of a married man, or an hourly paid companion) you don`t commodify "romance", as per definitionem romance does not exist in paid encounters. Is that comprehensible for you?

So - to play the ball back to you I figured this sentence is more accurate for my POV: Anyone who is an escort, client, or posts on escort boards and thinks about this habit as commodification of romance, might eventually lack proper self analyzis and the skills to reflect on distinctive nuances between the many possible realms within interpersonal relationships

Interesting discussion, love to hear more.

btw: love your avatar.... too bad there was only ONE season out there - serendipity , I think? Plus a movie afterwards . Really Really Really AWESOME series!