Providers Gone Hunting

[OldGrump]

Originally Posted by urhuckleberry

Damn! This turned out to be an entertaining thread!

H

Dang right .... oops, I think I just shot something.....

[notdeadyet]

Originally Posted by Dannie

...and I would gladly sit and discuss the peak of the rut with you.

The rut. Meaning, that time of the year when the female deer strut around with their asses in the air and lure the male deer into acts of great stupidity for the sake of about 15 seconds of sex. The usually cautious and stealthy male deer become so horny that their only thoughts are of doe pussy and their natural instincts for self-preservation vanish completely, and thereby allow themselves to killed.

So, it's really kinda like guys and gals.

[Iaintliein]

An avid duck hunter's new wife promised to go hunting with him.

When she refused to get up before dawn the next cold miserable morning, he disgustedly pronounced, "You either go hunting with me or give me oral or anal sex. I will be back after I get the truck loaded. . . so decide!"

When he came back she opted for the oral sex. "Uhhhggg!, your dick tastes like dog shit!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, the damned dog didn't want to go hunting either," was his calm reply.

[dtruesdale]

Ditto, urhuckleberry. As arguably the most worthless member of this board, I'm also surprised and pleased by the response my post has generated.

However, the duck hunting story does hit a little close to home though. That dog still won't look me straight in the eye.

[dtruesdale]

Originally Posted by Dannie

...and I would gladly sit and discuss the peak of the rut with you. Or help you pitch a tent. Or both, but not necessarily in that order.

Thank you for your kind words!

Life just ain't worth living without sexual innuendos and duct tape. Wouldn't you agree?

[Guest071613-2]

Originally Posted by sancocho

Dannie, you should have a tent with a stripper pole. And some camo.

Why do I find myself strangely attracted to some of those ladies in camo? That is so HOT! Although, I prefer the 'real' camo to the hot pink stuff...I can't see that I will be camping in the gumdrop forest anytime soon, so I have never seen the need for bubblegum pink camo.

I might have to invest in some sexy camo garb and a portable stripper pole, and capitalize on this yet untapped segment of the hobby!

Maybe someone will hold the next social in the woods. Camping orgy! Woo hooooo! I'll bring the duct tape and Tecnu! Who's in?!

[dtruesdale]

Originally Posted by Dannie

Why do I find myself strangely attracted to some of those ladies in camo? That is so HOT! Although, I prefer the 'real' camo to the hot pink stuff...I can't see that I will be camping in the gumdrop forest anytime soon, so I have never seen the need for bubblegum pink camo.

I might have to invest in some sexy camo garb and a portable stripper pole, and capitalize on this yet untapped segment of the hobby!

Maybe someone will hold the next social in the woods. Camping orgy! Woo hooooo! I'll bring the duct tape and Tecnu! Who's in?!

Dannie, you're killing me here. Orgy's, duct tape and now TECNU!?!? C'mon! I've got to convince a sweet little old widow woman to let us drill a gas well on her farm in a few minutes and I've damned near ruined my poplin's. You're an evil temptress.

[dtruesdale]

Originally Posted by Dannie

Why do I find myself strangely attracted to some of those ladies in camo? That is so HOT! Although, I prefer the 'real' camo to the hot pink stuff...I can't see that I will be camping in the gumdrop forest anytime soon, so I have never seen the need for bubblegum pink camo.

I might have to invest in some sexy camo garb and a portable stripper pole, and capitalize on this yet untapped segment of the hobby!

Maybe someone will hold the next social in the woods. Camping orgy! Woo hooooo! I'll bring the duct tape and Tecnu! Who's in?!

If we could only find someone to fabricate a collapsible stripper pole, we'd be in business. I'm envisioning a leopard print backpack containing said pole, an assortment of items from camobooty, and a bucket of Tecnu. This is gold, babe!

[Gonzo DFW]

Dannie, "mud on your knees and a condom hanging out your ass?!" That's some weird shit in those woods. Makes the Headless Horseman look like a birthday party clown.