Blonde jokes

[Guest032716]

While you blue hairs talk about days forgotten, one of my ATFs is all the time sending me jokes - here's her latest


Seven Degrees of Blondes

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FIRST DEGREE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.

The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.

The husband said, "Who was that?"

The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast
is clear."

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SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."

The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"

So the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

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THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out *
and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she
opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is really angry. *She opens her purse to take out
the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the *gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"

The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

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FOURTH DEGREE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. *She
proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

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FIFTH DEGREE

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

"Is it mine?"

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SIXTH DEGREE

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US
government class.

The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision
George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

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SEVENTH DEGREE

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. *She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9
unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the
blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and
his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all
my possessions stolen. *I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman."

[irn_ag]

Good ones! Here's some of my favorites:
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Did you know Glidden has developed a new paint color called Blonde?

Yep, it's not very bright, but it spreads real easily.
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What does a blonde and a cow patty have in common?

The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
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Why don't the blondes in San Francisco wear mini-skirts?


Because, when they bend over, their balls show.

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What's the first thing a blonde does when she wakes up?


She goes home.

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What did the blonde say after having sex?

Are all you guys on the same team.
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[rrath]

hahaha, that was funny, will have to write them down.

[Guest032716]

Not a blonde joke, but good!

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital
swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep
end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the
bottom and pulled Jim out. When the hospital director
became aware of Edna's heroic act, she considered her
to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the
news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news.

"The good news is you're being discharged; since you were
able to *rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and
saving the life of another patient, *I have concluded that
your act displays sound mindedness.

"The bad news is *that Jim, the patient you saved, hung
himself in his bathroom with his robe belt right after
you saved him. I am sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.
How soon can I go home?"