Rants and Confessions from a Denver Escort

[Missy Mariposa]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/den/415707529.html

It's an oldie, but a goodie. Some of it is pretty venomous and offensive (fair warning) as you can tell she's pretty "fed up" but some of it is downright funny.

Farting is disgusting and unacceptable on my part, but�then why do you do it? How fucking old or drunk are you that you don�t even say excuse me when you break wind?? Next time one of you assholes tries to lick my ass again, I�m cutting one loose. I already told you to keep your fingers and tounge out of my ass (for your own good, I have irritable bowel syndrome, no joking) but yet you persist. My IBS is so bad sometimes. I do have gas and bloat myself to hold it and, it does not help you are prying down there. SO just try not to be such an asshole.

Pussy Eating�.for the so-called �experts� Rule #1 Don�t spead my lips apart with your hands so far that they tear the inner soft skin on the vagina�.how about I pull your pee hole in two different directions�hmmm?? It would rip the sides�wouldn�t it ?fuck stick?? Rule #2 Don�t suck my clit and labia up into your mouth and catch it on your teeth�..lets say I rake my teeth over your cock? Wouldn�t that feel great?? Rule #3 Keep your tounge on the top or the bottom. The middle of my vagina is my pee hole�I don�t know about you but tounging my pee hole is NOT a turn on�.it burns. Rule #4 Lick on TOP of the hood not under. There are 4,000 neves on my clit and it feels WAYYYY to sensitive. Kinda like your cock, JUST after you cum. With that said 80% of guys really really give bad head. That is just my personal observation.

SO STOP ASKING ME MY REAL GOD DAMN NAME!!!!! It�s none of your fucking business�this is a fantasy I fulfill for you�stop making it so god damn personal.

At least she tried to end it on a happier note

On a happy end note�I DO have to give some credit to the normal guys. The married ones who are stuck in a marriage and are very attractive and could literally get any younger female they wanted, but stay for the kids. Also the non- freaks, losers, ass-face, deformed, hanicapped, overly obese �etc..guys. who have a charming way about them, but decided not to pursue relationships they are not ready to commit to. I salute and respect you. Because you and I both know you can get an attractive girl, who is unsuspecting and sweet and thinks the best of people, to go home with you after you feed her lies just to get into her pants, and then act as if you care for awhile until the sex gets old then throw her out on her relationship wanting ass. Get smart ladies! Stop sleeping around and not using condoms half the time. Fact: My non escort girlfriends hardly ever use condoms�I yell at them. They are so slack�.and I use to be. BUT I have learned, Men go after what you want. I understand my relationship to you is a client, provider on and there are no gray lines. That is what you are there for, and so am I. You, fantasy porn-star sex�me-benjamin franklins�and it works out.

[skeeziks]

Hopefully she has moved on to some other line of work more suited to her temperament. Like customer service at the DMV.

[eros1970]

if you don't like the way a guy does DATY then why don't you just tell him what you do like. Its that damn simple.