So what would the perfect gal be to you? Can you be satisfied by "Just One"? Could there be one that would take you away from all of this?

[isomilf69]

If Maxeen Monroe told me she loved me and was ready to leave the game,
seeeeeee yaaaaaaaaa... Hot, sweet and smart is a great combo...

[texasfeet]

In the words of U2, "I still haven't found what I'm looking for,"

[JohnBrown7]

Originally Posted by austinkboy

So, the conclusion that I came to is this... there is unlikely to be one woman that I would meet in the hobby that would be the right person overall, including the right circumstances that would make me leave the hobby. That is largely because any woman that I would fall for in the hobby probably wouldn't be satisfied forever with just one man...even if it is ME.

How long is forever?

Seriously, I understand what you're saying. I hope you seriously consider what I'm asking.

[davidsmith0123]

Originally Posted by austinkboy

So, the conclusion that I came to is this... there is unlikely to be one woman that I would meet in the hobby that would be the right person overall, including the right circumstances that would make me leave the hobby. That is largely because any woman that I would fall for in the hobby probably wouldn't be satisfied forever with just one man...even if it is ME.

So, I think the best solution for me is that I would cuddle up and settle down with maybe three or so of my very favorite women, each of them that I love dearly, be able to see them regularly, and have some connection beyond just a pure business client/provider relationship. Now that would very happily KEEP ME IN THE HOBBY rather than making me want to leave!

Something of a conundrum, wanting an exclusive relationship with just one woman but, failing that, embracing a relationship with multiple providers. So is your choice between a mutually exclusive relationship and the hobby? Perhaps the knot can be cut by throwing out the requirement of exclusivity, but would you accept such a relationship? Possibly the hypothetical woman you fall for in the hobby, who also falls for you, could exit the hobby for an open relationship, swinging, or some form of polyamorous relationship. You both give up pay for play, but not play. Monogamy, even serial monogomy, is not for everyone, and apparently you -- probably wisely -- do not expect it to be a likely outcome with a woman you meet in the hobby. After all, 'forever' is a rather long time.

I just don't think a long term committed relationship always requires exclusivity -- I know too many counterexamples. For that matter, many clients on this very board are in long term non-exclusive relationships, at least on their end, although the non-exclusivity is often hidden.

Obviously mutual and open non-exclusive relationships are not for everyone, but it is something to consider.

[Tiffani Jameson]

Originally Posted by JohnBrown7

So what would the perfect gal be to you?

1. Spiritually Strong - honest, loyal, uses all seven of her senses* to get at all seven of mine
2. Mentally Strong - knowledgeable (fully-comprehends who she is), creative, productive
3. Physically Strong - takes care her body so it can be used to the fullest by her spirit and mind

Understands what brings me joy, and derives joy from it.
Understands what scares me, and helps me deal with it.

I've demanded this of myself since I began dating way back in high school. Many, many years later, I haven't changed. I want a woman who demands the same of herself (and of me).

Can you be satisfied by "Just One"?
Years ago, I my answer would have been, "No". Now, I can say "Yes". I've matured/grown/gained wisdom or something... Or, maybe I finally met "Just One".

Could there be one that would take you away from all of this?
Yes, but it's not "Just One". "Just One" helped me leave P4P, but I'm The One who's keeping from indulging.

It took me a while to fully-understand why I started doing P4P. It took a lot less time to understand why I continued. At that point, I came to understand that P4P was sapping away my spiritual and mental strength (hurting me and hurting others). Comprehending the negative impact P4P was having on two of the three things I feel define me made quitting the only answer. I also changed my way of thinking about P4P, so whenever I get the urge, I do some thinking and/or reading about P4P, remember why I left, and the urge is squelched.


*smell, taste, touch, hearing, sight, proprioception, and humor

I love this!

For a woman that strives to be strong in every aspect of her life, this is so good to hear. And to know that there are men that think about the things that affect their lives AND have the ability to change it gives me so much hope.

Excellent post.

[austinkboy]

Originally Posted by JohnBrown7

So what would the perfect gal be to you?

1. Spiritually Strong - honest, loyal, uses all seven of her senses* to get at all seven of mine
2. Mentally Strong - knowledgeable (fully-comprehends who she is), creative, productive
3. Physically Strong - takes care her body so it can be used to the fullest by her spirit and mind

I absolutely get it! You are looking for a female martial artist. The perfect harmony of mind, body and spirit... nothing is impossible, and anything is possible

Originally Posted by JohnBrown7

How long is forever?
Seriously, I understand what you're saying. I hope you seriously consider what I'm asking.

Forever, is as in to "death do us apart" in once sense, or from a more practical sense as in how long does a marriage or relationship have to last to be considered successful, or even just long-term?

On the one hand, to an older person, 5 years may be just a fleeting moment in their entire life, but relative to what remains of his or her remaining life, that may be forever. Is it time to work on your bucket list? Or is it time to focus on the few things that you already have that know matters and focus on that? I guess the answer depends on whether you have found and experienced what you will be happy with already at that point in your life.

On the other hand, to a younger person 5 years may feel like eternity. But compared to what remains in their life, it will likely still be someday, a long ago memo of one of the many experiences.

Originally Posted by davidsmith0123

So is your choice between a mutually exclusive relationship and the hobby?

I do believe that the definition does rule in this case. If you have an exclusive relationship, there is no point in being in the hobby. If you are in the hobby, then by definition you don't have an exclusive relationship. Unless of course, you don't consider your hobby activities "relationships" which is the normal position of the OP, but obviously he has been confused and struggling with that jaded outlook on sex/relationship conundrum.


Perhaps the knot can be cut by throwing out the requirement of exclusivity, but would you accept such a relationship?

Yes, I would wholeheartedly accept such a relationship. After all, I am married, so by definition, I have decided that I can live with myself without devoting myself exclusively to one woman. In fact, I would dare say that I am very much in love with at least three women in the hobby other than my SO. As it turns out, the two both have SO's that are for all intents and purposes, permanent relationships as is mine. Wow, I didnt realize how wonderful this could be! Less drama, more human relationship. Great sex too!


Possibly the hypothetical woman you fall for in the hobby, who also falls for you, could exit the hobby for an open relationship, swinging, or some form of polyamorous relationship. You both give up pay for play, but not play. Monogamy, even serial monogomy, is not for everyone, and apparently you -- probably wisely -- do not expect it to be a likely outcome with a woman you meet in the hobby. After all, 'forever' is a rather long time.

I like that term..."polyamorous"! much better than I am a slut! kinda like I magically transformed from an "Oriental" to an "Asian American". In any case, yes, I think actually absolute monogomy is the rare case, in or out of the hobby. And if you are going to be polyamorous, then hobby is actually a pretty safe way to not make a permanent mistake in choosing long-term partners

I just don't think a long term committed relationship always requires exclusivity -- I know too many counterexamples. For that matter, many clients on this very board are in long term non-exclusive relationships, at least on their end, although the non-exclusivity is often hidden.

Obviously mutual and open non-exclusive relationships are not for everyone, but it is something to consider.

I've considered, embraced it, and am enjoying it!

[rocknron]

there is a lot of you that put your words to this.for me it's very simple
i want a girl that cums a lot and will fuck me and a lot of others.she needs to be
up front and very open as a person.that's it..oh and does not talk a lot.

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by rocknron

there is a lot of you that put your words to this.for me it's very simple
i want a girl that cums a lot and will fuck me and a lot of others.she needs to be
up front and very open as a person.that's it..oh and does not talk a lot.

Sound like you want a goat not a girl...

[JohnBrown7]

Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

I love this!

For a woman that strives to be strong in every aspect of her life, this is so good to hear. And to know that there are men that think about the things that affect their lives AND have the ability to change it gives me so much hope.

Excellent post.

Thank you, Ms. Jameson.

Originally Posted by austinkboy

I absolutely get it! You are looking for a female martial artist. The perfect harmony of mind, body and spirit... nothing is impossible, and anything is possible

Forever, is as in to "death do us apart" in once sense, or from a more practical sense as in how long does a marriage or relationship have to last to be considered successful, or even just long-term?

Thanks for considering my question and the reply, austinkboy. You've given me some things to think about:

• Relationships: Should I focus more energy on making them long-lasting or making them as good as possible at the current time?
• Female Martial Artist: Did it just get warm in here?