Etiquette Goes Both Ways

[Jacquie]

It is important to note that this is not an alert. I am merely educating both posters and lurkers alike on etiquette based off of one of my numerous annoying events that has happened in my year and a half of providing. Ladies, feel free to chime in with your peeves.

For those of you who don't know the geography of HOU, going from one end to the other can easily be like a trip from NOLA to BTR. When I'm in this area to provide, I usually don't venture out of a thirty mile radius, because the travel time far exceeds the time I spend with dawgs.

Having decided to do a good thing for a socially inept Asian kid, I convinced myself a forty five minute drive wouldn't be so bad. I left early and arrived on time. There was definitely a language barrier, so navigating to the entrance was complicated. I rolled my eyes when I discovered that it was one of these gated complexes with the four foot fence that give people a false sense of security. I called and was told I was to wait until someone came home to let me in. I was annoyed, because this meant I had to wait ten more minutes.

The complex itself was confusing. I walked down five flights of stairs, only to realize that this was on the fourth floor. I walked back up four flights of stairs. Trekking stone steps in four inch stilettos is painful at best. By the time I arrived, I just grabbed my envelope and excused myself to the restroom to freshen up after getting sweaty.

I did a quick count as I reapplied my lipstick and gloss. I found my envelope fifty dollars short of my asked donation. UGH. --This is why I count to start off with. Well, I paused for a minute to decide how I should settle this with a man who couldn't understand any of my English anyway, unless I wrote it down. I decided his punishment would be no GFE, half hour, which seemed reasonable as that is what he paid for. Plus, he had already wasted thirty minutes of my time. Why leave with nothing when I'd driven so far?[ Please note, that I'm normally really confused about how to execute a session without GFE.]

Oh God, I'm not sure if the only thing he knew how to communicate with me in English was my family or what. But, how bad is it when some guy insinuates that you have Daddy issues while you're naked? Why does wanting to be paid to be a swinger mean you have issues? I think that's just smart business.

Oi! All things you shouldn't do with a provider...

Any other ladies got something?

[Outdoorsman]

Here is my .02 cents on pet peeves.

First, I am not convinced the gentleman did not know English unless you speak his language, but seriously doubt that as your post indicates communication problems. I have dealt with people claiming not to know English and use that as a crutch to seem dumb and get away with something, like shorting someone $50. Typically, what I do is simple, I usually tell a joke or something startling in English and look for a reply, people have giggled at the joke or cracked a smile (indicating they understood everything I just said). If I say something startling I look for their eyes to look up quickly, indicating they understood exactly what I just said. Or another suggestion mumble something so that he can hear, about him or the session, and look for a reaction. Certainly not a sure fire way but it has helped me in numerous situations. Typically, the person continues his or her charade, but I say in plain English $50 more dollars or I go or of course I can chose to get shorted, my choice so not gonna get upset over it. They get the picture, at least in my experience they do.

Secondly, please do not count the money before we start, just kills the fantasy for me. Screening should help determine whether a dawg is trustworthy or not. And in business do I sometimes take chances and get shorted, absolutely. In business I sometimes take calculated risks and some pay off really well and others, well, not so good. I learn from my experiences and take responsibility for my actions, "do I trust non English speaking clients any more?", set boundaries on distances I am willing to drive no matter what. If I decide to break my own rules I have no one to blame but myself, I created my own misery. I put these rules in place to protect me, not the client.

People and clients are not going to change, no matter how hard I wish it, they are who they are, all I can do is learn to work within those boundaries I set, and be grateful for the many risks that do pay off and realize not every risk will land me big $$$$. I look at it and say I took a chance did not work this time and move on. I live a very comfortable life style and I chose to live in the gratitude of having the opportunity to live as I do, just me.

Just my .02

[Jacquie]

I disagree with not counting money. Sorry. I don't do it in front of gents generally speaking--like I said, I slipped away to the restroom. After I meet with a dawg for the first time and know for sure that he's trustworthy, I won't do it again. If that ruins some kind of fantasy, so be it. There are too many stories and too many instances of guys being douche bags. You may be an honest man, and I would take that into account... but not everyone is like that. I also do not agree that you can apply standard business practices to prostitution.

He didn't understand much English, I could tell. I use those tricks too. But, he got what he paid for, and I have no guilty conscious over that. Like I said, I have no idea how to navigate session without GFE usually... Jeez, that kills my fantasy!! Haha.

[DallasRain]

Thanks Miss j---sorry that happened to you!!

My pet peeve is unmanicured toes...lol...ouccccccccccccchh hhhhhh!!

[Jacquie]

Really? That's it? Ha ha.

I care a file in my purse for those gents that have a rugged set of nail biting fingers. My bag is like Mary Poppins.

[April Showers]

Most of the time I will do my count before I leave unless there is something that warrants the need to do so at the beginning. I would have to say that if it appears my client is not able to fully communicate in English I'm counting before we start! Instead of deciding to "punish" him I would have tried to make him understand that the envelope was short. You said that he understood written English, so why didn't you write it out for him? "You owe me $50.00 more" Almost all rooms have a pen and notepad in them.

I think that you can apply standard business practices to the hobby, some things may have to be tweaked to fit but, business is business, doesn't matter what you're selling. Hell even street gangs follow standard business practices when selling drugs and guns. We all worry about our bottom line and what we need to do to make our pockets fuller. We have to do sales and marketing, follow economic trends (lord knows we are not recession proof!), keep up with technology that will help us organize our business, and let's not forget watching the competition. When setting rate structure we have to account for overhead. When dealing with clients we really focus on making the sale and customer service (that's the fun part!) I see myself as a small business owner selling a great service and I draw on what I learned in business class to help make it work.

[Outdoorsman]

Dallas my toenails are clipped and manicured.

Jacquie I understand a person having to do what they think is best for them, so if counting your money first is that important by all means go for it, just realize when a person does not follow market trends they are cutting a base supply of potential customers, that's all. I feel confident your busines is strong enough to allow you to do that.

April - I am so impressed with you right now!!! Wow, I could not agree more a business is a business no matter what you are selling. I for one keep all sorts of graphs on potential clientele, market conditions, etc. so I know where to concentrate my marketing efforts and has seemed to work for me. Sounds like you do the same. The business smarts and a great looking lady, what else is there?

[DallasRain]

mmmmmmmmmm Outdoorsman...come on over then{lol}


Ditto what April said!

I set my donation scale to what "makes me feel comfortable" and what I feel "the average hobbyist" should be able to spend and still get a GREAT MIND BLOWING time.
People tell me all the time that I am "undercharging,but even though I feel "I am worth more",I do what has been working for me so far!![If it aint broke then dont fix it...right???}
I live a very nice life!!! I enjoy my sessions immensely.... I have never{that I know of} had a dissatisfied client...... and thats all that counts in my book!!!


I will count the donation out of sight and let the guy know he is right or wrong...if he is a decent hobbyist,he will expect nothing less of you!

[BIG C]

I usually get put off a bit if the provider counts the moolah right there in front of me, but since I completely understand why someone would do it, then I'm not put off to the point that I would let THAT be the sole reason for not having a good session with her.....Let's face it, there are some real slimeballs on both sides of this fence so there's nothing wrong with a provider not wanting to get shorted on her fees for providing a good service.....I have found that placing the envelope on a table, or somewhere else out in the open, then excusing myself to the bathroom works pretty well and both of us can avoid that tactless moment of having her count her fees in my presence.....Once we've established a repoire with each other, then it gives me a chance to play one of my favorite provider-hobbyist games of "Hide the Dead Presidents".....lol

[April Showers]

Originally Posted by Outdoorsman

The business smarts and a great looking lady, what else is there?

My skills baby.... my skills!!!!