The right to choose ?

[Bushaholic]

Most of my hobbying is done in SC's although I do occasionally see providers. There are many reasons I prefer SC's, one that I've found and makes SC's a bigger attraction for me, and more of an addiction, is that you get to see each other face-to-face, talk a few minutes, and see if there's any "chemistry" or connection, before laying down any money and proceeding.

I've more than once asked a stripper that gave every possible "extra" for cash, and either does so in the club or outside the club, "have you ever thought about being a full-time escort?" On more than one occasion I've heard a dancer more-or-less say "I like picking guys in the club to do that with, that way I can see him, talk to him, see if we have chemistry, or if I feel any attraction to him, versus the thought of having sex with whatever walks through the door".

If some providers feel they might be better suited to establishing "chemistry" before things go BCD, and they can't get past that, maybe the thought of being a dancer that does p4p selectively on-the-side should be considered.

I know 2 strippers who spent a couple of years dancing, built-up a selective p4p clientele they preferred, then quit dancing, and now support themselves strictly off appts with their preferred clientele.

[DorkLover]

Originally Posted by trojanman

I agree with this, but believe the provider should cover this in the screening process. Have a few emails of dialogue, or even a phone call. I don't mind if a provider asks for a pic, or non-specific background info either.

But, most of my appts are late afternoon/early evening. So, I would be upset if, after allocating time in my schedule and fighting rush hour traffic, a provider backed out upon meeting for our date.

Although, I believe it is certainly acceptable behavior in extreme circumstances. If Freddie Krueger shows up, I would hope the girls would back out.

Agree. As a guy I have an advantage because I can do research and make sure that the providers is what I am looking for. I have only been disappointed on a few occasions because the photos were slightly changed or a little dated.

If you are concerned about chemistry and have the flexibility to make sure that the guy meets your expectations, then do what Alea does and schedule a short meet and greet off the clock first. I think most guys who are into this as a hobby and not just a quick wham bam thank you ma'am would appreciate the opportunity to build a connection with you prior to any session.

[travelling_man]

Originally Posted by DorkLover

If you are concerned about chemistry and have the flexibility to make sure that the guy meets your expectations, then do what Alea does and schedule a short meet and greet off the clock first. I think most guys who are into this as a hobby and not just a quick wham bam thank you ma'am would appreciate the opportunity to build a connection with you prior to any session.

I think that's the best idea I've heard yet. I would be very agreeable to meeting a woman off the clock for a quick cup of coffee before deciding to proceed further. That is very typical of what I do each time I meet a potential sugarbaby and it has worked very well. Maybe that would work for some of the girls here that might have apprehensions about seeing just whoever walked through the door.

[daddyo67]

well, I'm an old, fat and not too pretty guy, but I've never been turned away at the door. If it happen's I would think I should be glad rather than her thinking(ugh, do I really have to kiss this ugly old fart)

By the way, both of the wonderful ladys that have commented on this thread, when I ask to see them always say " Oh I can't wait"

[Chevalier]

Y'all are sidestepping the real issue, it seems to me.

Of course a lady is not obligated to see a guy if she decides she just isn't comfortable going through with it. (Just tell him so rather than NCNS.) That may disappoint the guy or inconvenience him, we all understand that, but the imposition on him doesn't justify taking away her right to decide.

Of course a guy is going to be disappointed when he shows up and the lady tells him it's not gonna happen, but that doesn't mean he would demand that she go through with it. Some guys might, but most of us would prefer the cancellation rather than her going through with it if she won't be comfortable.

The real issue -- and perhaps the reason this thread was started in the first place -- is whether that's something appropriate for the guy to disclose to the rest of the community (in a discussion not a review ). And the answer is, in my not-so-humble opinion, it should be done calmly and respectfully, but it is information appropriate to share with the community.

If one or two guys report this happened with Rebecca, and they're real jerks, it won't hurt her much; it may even help with some prospective clients who will applaud her good taste. If several report it, and they seem like reasonable people . . . it suggests a somewhat higher likelihood that scheduling with her will result in an "in person cancellation" for other prospective clients as well. Joe may respect her decision to cancel with Fred and not even criticize it, because he does believe it's her choice, but might want to know that so he can choose to see someone else who is less likely to cancel on him.

[txcwby6]

Originally Posted by hotlips_houlihan

Rebecca, all you have to do babe is politely tell the gentleman "I understand your time is very valuable but in the essence of preserving your fantasy, I do not believe that I am the one who can fulfill that for you" or something along those lines. But you have been around a long time and already know that....so back to the non-flaming discussion lol

There you go Hotlips! Short and sweet, no harm done. The woman always has the right to say no. She's not a commodity. If someone wants a sure thing then buy a fleshlight that won't argue, call it a slut, tell it you knows it likes it rough and nasty, slap it up a bit before getting off inside and simply toss the slutty little cum receptacle into the dishwasher when finished.

I've begged off at bars several times when women that I didn't find attractive tried to put a move on me. I've been shot down more times than I care to calculate but that's OK too. However, if you want a great experience its best to select a Provider that clicks with you as much as you click with her. Most Providers take a few minutes before the session gets serious to see if there's an acceptable level of chemistry and comfort before clothes start coming off. That's the time when both parties should be sizing up the other. Neither should feel obligated to go thru with the session unless both are ready and willing. This means that the Provider shouldn't be upset if the Hobbyist tells her "I think we should call this off before it goes any further. I'm not feeling like this is going to be a session I'll remember fondly and don't want to waste your time."

[guest031012]

Originally Posted by Neotek

Doh! The stars align, the angels sing, bunnies hop and the world is filled with rainbows when I walk through the door.

so trueeee <3

[guest031012]

oh && I totally agree with Meg.
+1
she speaks the truth

[Guest050911]

Chevalier,

I completely agree with your comment. Much rather have her say "I am not feeling it" than gritting her teeth and trying to force it. And I do believe that it is info to be shared. I am sure a hobbyist doing the same is info that is shared between the ladies.

This is why I go to meet and greets, we both get to check each other out before being at the door.

[travelling_man]

Of course a provider has the right to say no to anyone, but the question was SHOULD she say no? And the unspoken question was as Chev said - if this happens should the guy say anything about it? I agree with Chev - yes it should be noted in a non-flaming polite way. Then the good reviews along with the "in person cancellations" can both be known when a guy tries to schedule. There might also be a trend? Does she always cancel on fat guys? Does she always cancel on young guys? Does she always cancel on Asian guys? If there is a trend and you fall into a category that is regularly canceled on, then you might not want to see the lady in question.

[txcwby6]

TM's perspective is well taken. The yes and no go both ways as should reviews but if the only thing that's reviewed re a Provider is that she said "No Thanks" then its a slam whether it's done politely or not since that leads right back to the point made here before that Providers should be able to review the Hobbyists. It's one of those slippery slopes that ends up with a Hobbyist posting a polite review that ends with "Told me no" and evolves into a Provider feeling the need to respond and tell "her side of the story" to members, sometimes quoting dialogue or painting a picture that ends up with a board Administrator locking down the thread.

I'd leave it up to the Hobbyist and Provider to deal with it on a one-on-one basis without any public posts. Plus, if any particular Provider turns down all the fat guys then she'll end up seeing guys she finds Ok and likely be a better Provider. And, if a Hobbyist gets turned down quite a bit perhaps he'll look at himself in the mirror and decide he needs to lose some weight. I don't see the down side here.

[Shackleton]

If the provider tends to cancel based on some objective criteria (race, age, weight, etc.), then she should state this up front in her advertising. It's not right to make a guy schedule an appointment, show up, and then be turned away at the door when it could have been handled with much less time and cost to him.

If it's just a matter of "chemistry," then the provider and potential client should schedule a brief meeting with the understanding that the provider needs there to be the right chemistry for her to go forward.

Providers canceling on lots of guys at the door is simply not the norm in this business. If a particular provider wants to do that, then she should make it known that she's much more particular in who she sees ahead of time so that guys do not waste their time and effort, or at least are aware of the increased risk ahead of time. And, the guys should absolutely report it if it happens to them.

[S-Man]

The thread/review could state "IPC" in the title for In-Person Cancellation.

[Gonzo DFW]

Either party should feel free to say "thanks but no thanks." I've gone through with a couple only because a) I was there, b) I was horny and she wasn't that bad, and c) I didn't want to get trashed among providers. But in both cases the pics were way afield of reality. I should have walked, but didn't. That's one reason I like mixers and socials. They are worth all the misspent money. The eyes don't lie. And you know, providers can screen with other providers I've been with to determine whether they want me to visit.

[Randy4Candy]

This thread can be somewhat equated to the "When did you stop beating your wife?" question that has no good answer that can't be snipped out of context to make the answerer look pretty bad...LOL!