The right to choose ?

[Rebeccaofdallas]

I am just curious . If you as hobbyist have the right to choose your providers do we as providers have a choice to choose our hobbyist? When you walk into your scheduled appointment have you ever said “this is not what I wanted and I can’t go through with this”? You then walk out, even though she has blocked out an hour of her time that she could have spent with someone else. She can’t write about it and you don’t feel bad that there was no connection and that’s okay. But what if your provider does that to you? Does that constitute a bad review?
Should we as providers see everyone that comes through our door just because we are providers? We don’t know if there will be a connection before you come see us. And I as a provider don’t want to feel like a blow up doll.. I would think the way the economy is that you would appreciate a provider saying “this isn’t going to work and I don’t just want to go through the motions keep your wonderful gift and I am glad we got to meet” . Nothing was really lost except BOTH of our times.
I would love to hear what your thoughts are on this? Maybe things could be handled differently?

Kisses
Becca curious

[shooter6.5]

tell me that the chemistry is not right and in the long run both of us will be better off. I may be disappointed but not as disappointed as I would be with a "bad" session.

BTW, are you ever going to see me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[travelling_man]

Just as you have set aside your time, the hobbyist has also gone to great lengths in order to see a girl. As long as there is nothing wrong with him in the sense of being rude, disrespectful, not clean, etc then I don't feel it would be right to refuse to see the guy. After you see someone once and you know that you don't click, then you might always be 'busy' when he tries to schedule again, but that is vastly different from asking him to leave after he has already shown up.

If a girl wants a hot, handsome guy to help satisfy her libido, then she would have much better luck in a bar or an online dating site where she can pick and choose who to see. A girl in this line of work chose to do this knowing what the expectations were. If she wants to still make a little bit of pocket change while being able to pick and choose who she is intimate with, then maybe a sugardaddy site would be a better option than being an escort. But a girl should not expect to make anywhere near as much being a sugarbaby as she would being an escort, there is a trade-off for being able to pick and choose who you fuck.

It is called "work" for a reason. While many people enjoy their work just as I do, it still is work. If it was all about fun and nothing else, then yes the girl should be able to choose whoever in the world she wanted to fuck, but then it wouldn't be work and at that point she should not get paid for it. A girl's job as an escort is to provider her clients with a fantasy experience they would not be able to have without money being involved. So it is understood that WE may not be every girl's fantasy, yet that's why we're paying her because she is our fantasy. If the girls want to have a handsome dreamboat walk through the door, then go find him on a different site where she can pick and choose who she wants to see. But since you are asking for OPINIONS I am giving you mine in that I feel a girl that chooses to be in this line of work comes in knowing how it works and knowing that every guy is likely to not be HER fantasy.

[Donnie Brasco]

I have a provider friend that used to share her incall with a couple of other ladies. Years ago she shared with me that, a lady used to look out the window and check out the hobbyists as they approached the door. If she saw something she didn't like, she wouldn't even open the door and talk to him. The bad thing is that she's still among us. Whodda thunka? What a seriously shitty behavior from a lady.
As stated previously if ladies want a strapping young stud to boink, not around here. Go online to one of the dating sites, there you're able to see the pictures of the guys that will bang you, FOR FREE. Heck, some of those studs won't even pay for Mickey D's, that's right.
Most of us are bald, fat, short and we are even ugly. That's why we pay for the ladies time.

[Mr No Confidence]

Originally Posted by Rebeccaofdallas

.. I as a provider don’t want to feel like a blow up doll.. I would think the way the economy is that you would appreciate a provider saying “this isn’t going to work and I don’t just want to go through the motions keep your wonderful gift and I am glad we got to meet” . Nothing was really lost except BOTH of our times.

Peace of mind .. or piece of money? .. If your "mind" isn't into something you have that right to decline. If you don't want to feel like a blow up doll .. then take the loss. Save your soul. .. But just be ready when that insecure little boy burns you online. Fair or not.

[txcwby6]

The Provider has as much right to say no as the Hobbyist. I don't need some b.s. or "trying to be polite" rationale.

[Tony Patella]

As is frequently the case with a question like this, I don’t think there is a definitive yes or no answer…rather shades of yes or no.

I will admit, on a few occasions when the door has opened the lady of my desires was not at all in person what her pictures and/or profile suggested. Yet I stayed for a few reasons; not wanting to disappoint her in the way of lost time and revenue, because appearances are only skin deep and because we all have feelings. Yet the simple fact that the lady misrepresented herself with old and or inaccurate pics and body data would support turning at the door and leaving.

So, is turnabout fair play as Rebecca asked? Seems to me it’s a bit different for a lady. A gent is providing a fee for the lady’s time, not vice versa. And in fact, as pointed out, it is a lady’s chosen job. But there are complicating factors. Does the gent look shady, or is he simply unappealing? (Most ladies flinch when they see me, but I haven’t been refused just yet…LOL) Once inside the room, is he disrespectful and crude? Or stinky, unkempt and refusing a shower? Then a lady is well within her rights to refuse.

We all agree the hobby is much better with a connection, but if that’s a primary criteria of seeing an appointment through, that should be openly stated in your ad and profile. Then, if a gent schedules a time he is forewarned and proceeds at his own risk.

Further, did the lady do her homework to check the gents board persona and profile(s) to see the type of provider he likes? Did she check the back channels to garner further information and assess whether they were a fit? Both of those tactics should drastically decrease the likelihood of an on site refusal, before the appointment occurs.

And lastly, the tact with which both a lady and a gent handle this type of situation can affect whether she flames him on the back channel or he flames her in a negative no service post.

Just my $.02.

TP

[Rebeccaofdallas]

Its not about looks its just the chemistry might not be there. I wouldn't want a provider just going through the motions just for the money. Thank you for your insight Traveling Man : )

Kisses

[hotlips_houlihan]

All of this politically correct bullshit is just that...bullshit....so here we go:

Originally Posted by Rebeccaofdallas

1. do we as providers have a choice to choose our hobbyist?
2. Does that constitute a bad review?
3. Should we as providers see everyone that comes through our door just because we are providers?
4. I would think the way the economy is that you would appreciate a provider saying “this isn’t going to work and I don’t just want to go through the motions keep your wonderful gift and I am glad we got to meet” .

1. Yes
2. It shouldn't even be a review at all. Nothing happened. So what is there to review? Discussion yes, review no.
3. Not if you don't want to.
4. Their egos won't allow that to happen.

Originally Posted by travelling_man

As long as there is nothing wrong with him in the sense of being rude, disrespectful, not clean, etc then I don't feel it would be right to refuse to see the guy.

It is called "work" for a reason. While many people enjoy their work just as I do, it still is work. If it was all about fun and nothing else, then yes the girl should be able to choose whoever in the world she wanted to fuck, but then wouldn't be work and at that point she should not get paid for it. A girl's job as an escort is to provider her clients with a fantasy experience they would not be able to have without money being involved. So it is understood that WE may not be every girl's fantasy, but that's why we're paying her because she is our fantasy. If the girls want to have a handsome dreamboat walk through the door, then go find him on a different site where she can pick and choose who she wants to see. But since you are asking for OPINIONS I am giving you mine in that I feel a girl that chooses to be in this line of work comes in knowing how it works and knowing that every guy is likely to not be HER fantasy.

Wow, where do I even start with this one? Ok, first of all, we all realize that every guy who walks through our door is not going to be a dream guy. But you are missing the whole point. Yes, you are paying for a fantasy. Yes, you are the customer. But what good would it be if for some reason or another the lady does not like you? She is not going to be able to provide the very fantasy you desire and are paying for because of her feelings. It's going to be a waste of your time. He may be clean, respectful and nice but there is so much more to this "work" than you can begin to imagine. This job is not just a physical act. It's not just a blow job and reverse cowgirl. It's a state of mind, it's an attitude.

Any woman can fuck a guy....drunk or sober. But not every woman can be a provider. And not every provider is a good one. The good ones recognize their limitations and what their abilities, whether physical or mental, can provide.

So in essence, you are telling me you would rather have a really bad session that the provider is not into in order to bust one out, then be turned away because something was not right? That's absurd. Oh yea, the whole ego thing I forgot.

Providers have every right to see, or not see, who they wish. We can....and we do. Not all money is good money. And keep in mind, for some it's not all about the money alone. It's also about the experience. And if we can prevent a bad one, then there ya have it. I would rather a guy talk about me in the LR that I refused to see him (but will a guy even admit that a woman refused to fuck him? yea I said it) than to get a review saying I was mechanical and he didn't have a good time.

[Rebeccaofdallas]

I didn't want this to turn into a flaming discussion. I just wondered if there was a way things could be handled if this kind of situation came up?
Always remember this is meant to be fun that's why its called a hobby : )

Lets just have fun
Becca

[guest010712]

Originally Posted by hotlips_houlihan

Ok, first of all, we all realize that every guy who walks through our door is not going to be a dream guy.

Doh! The stars align, the angels sing, bunnies hop and the world is filled with rainbows when I walk through the door.

Seriously, I would rather have the provider tell me it's not going to work right off the bat than waste our time. Shit, I've kicked several providers out of the ninja kitties dojo, because we didn't click. I still recall a review of mine from ASPD where I told a provider to shut the fuck up while she was fake moaning, heh.

[looiecypher]

plain and simple.both sides have the right to choose who they see.
Plain simple fact.

[hotlips_houlihan]

Rebecca, all you have to do babe is politely tell the gentleman "I understand your time is very valuable but in the essence of preserving your fantasy, I do not believe that I am the one who can fulfill that for you" or something along those lines. But you have been around a long time and already know that....so back to the non-flaming discussion lol

[Spaulding Smails]

Originally Posted by looiecypher

plain and simple.both sides have the right to choose who they see.
Plain simple fact.

I agree with this, but believe the provider should cover this in the screening process. Have a few emails of dialogue, or even a phone call. I don't mind if a provider asks for a pic, or non-specific background info either.

But, most of my appts are late afternoon/early evening. So, I would be upset if, after allocating time in my schedule and fighting rush hour traffic, a provider backed out upon meeting for our date.

Although, I believe it is certainly acceptable behavior in extreme circumstances. If Freddie Krueger shows up, I would hope the girls would back out.

[bigbobftworth]

seems like a lot of people have way too much time on their hands. If you dont want to be with someone just tell them. I know it hurts a little to tell another person you would prefer not to be intimate with them. But I would rather have a lady tell me that she would prefer to not go BCD with me rather than have an appointment and be totally frustrated. I am not ashamed to have a woman tell me to find someone else and I certainly can pick and choose a woman that I would most likely enjoy some special time with.

Just my 2 cents worth