Keeping marriages alive with affairs, asexuality, polyamory and living apart

[NinaBrooke]

Hello,

I found this excellent article just recently
and wanted to share. I do think society is moving towards a more relieved and tolerant looks at the many possibilities relationships can grow beyond the usual. We generally, I think, live in a society now, where we tend to have options rather than obligations. So this makes a colourful map of possibilities acceptable

"So how do today's couples deal with affairs without divorcing? Haag founds lots of arrangements and understandings. Some maintain that 'everyone gets at least one free pass.' Others have 'only when traveling' or 'only 50 miles away' rules. There are "don't ask, don't tell couples," tell only so much couples, and tell-all couples. One wife told Haag that when she discovered that her husband was a philanderer, she "banished him temporarily to a nearby apartment, but had him come back every morning to get the children off to school and pack their lunches, and then return in the evening to cook their dinner."

read on:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...d-living-apart

[Roothead]

Mine, for the last 10 years, has been "DADT" for both... with the understanding that family is first, no embarrassment, no diseases, no drama and fiscal control..... falls under the topic of entertainment and hobbies, like her shopping and spas and my fixation on cars... something we enjoy in moderation and sometimes share

[NinaBrooke]

beautiful. I think. It is important to figure out personal boundaries,imho. What part of the truth is acceptable is an important issue. Having it well balanced is paramount for keeping unnecessary troubles and pain at bay.

[foxyred73]

With me i was young in my 20 something stage and know that i am my 30 something stage and i grow up and know i can handle my by personal live ever more than ever.

i am happy in a personal live more than ever and think going threw live ups and down make more grow up

[Leah Ireland]

The definition of marriage includes TWO PEOPLE. Anything else is a travesty and way away from real love. Yeah, call me old-fashioned. (And no, a proclivity for Prada or latinos with big boobs or Asians with beautiful eyes so don't count.)

Marriage is marriage. Between two people. You think I'm married? Obviously not.

[Leah Ireland]

Returning to your proposition - yesterday I saw a client who had been very difficult to deal with because of his not wanting to deal with email.

We met - very nice guy, financially a very good prospect - yes.

But so troubled because he had such an inauthentic marital/familial situation - yes.

They know what he does. He needs to it because, of course, sex is the best thing in life and his non-sexual marriage is just not cutting it.

Escorts may seem like a non-essential luxury but look, so many times we are not.

We just keep the groove alive...

Thank God.

(Hey, Happy St. Patrick's to you all!)

Leah Ireland xxx

[AdventureAdams]

I don't think that one type of love suits everyone. Sometimes I think people are just doing what everyone thinks they should and it takes a severe crisis ( like a breakdown of marriage) for people to seek out what truly makes them happy. Whether it be getting a divorce or experimenting until you find a situation both of you are happy with.

Then there are some people who just figure out the best way to tolerate each other until the kids move.

Whatever they have to do to keep them from killing each other, I'm all up for it.

[acp5762]

Yes Skyler. there are different types of "Love" but regardless of the type of relationship or type of love. Most of us have one common dilema, and that is, we really don't know how to love. Knowing how to Love one another and how to be loved is very important. To many people throw the word "Love" arouind like rag. Love, although it maybe an emotion it's also a choice. Marriages fail way to often because the choice to love another was not taken quite so seriously and the feelings love brings wax and wane.

[Zabrina Sarafina]

I could write an whole essay on this, but long speeches/lectures are overrated

Bottom line, words of wisdom...Be Selfish. Do what makes You feel truly happy, healthy, and balanced. If thats being monogamous, poly, having full blown secret affairs, living apart from the SO, combination of all the above etc

Human nature varies and evolves. Changes.

There is no right or wrong. Just own Perception

Love comes from the brain not the heart (biologically)
Hmm so what does that say?

and Idk where else I'm going with this haha it's 5am and I've been up all night researching on introverts/extroverts

Wow kooky

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by Leah Ireland

The definition of marriage includes TWO PEOPLE. Anything else is a travesty and way away from real love. Yeah, call me old-fashioned. (And no, a proclivity for Prada or latinos with big boobs or Asians with beautiful eyes so don't count.)

Marriage is marriage. Between two people. You think I'm married? Obviously not.

Thank you. Well put!

[Ansley]

Originally Posted by Zabrina Sarafina

I've been up all night researching on introverts/extroverts

The other day I saw a speech from "Ted" about introverts. You might enjoy it.
http://youtu.be/3yyeJ1jaGDU

[acp5762]

Hahaha Zabrina, your post was actually quite comical. My only suggestion to you is get some sleep.

[Laurentius]

Recommended Reading: The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm

[acp5762]

Originally Posted by Laurentius

Recommended Reading: The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm

What did you learn from this book?

[John Bull]

Couldn't have been much. Fromm never fucked anyone but his valet.