Could TMI ruin the fantasy?

[Shiloh Stevens]

Could knowing too much personal information about a provider (personal drama, debt problems, legal problems, etc) ruin the fantasy?

And vice versa for ladies? I've discovered that while I love entertaining...I do not like being a therapist...unless I am actually being paid for a therapy session.

[Bob Soldios]

I think it's on a per-instance basis. If you're giving them the fantasy then obviously you stay on that side of the fence, if your're giving them companionship that's a whole different ball game. But YMMV and I'm still a newbie in this whole thing...

[MasterBaiter1996]

I am there for a good time, not to be a shoulder to cry on.

Oh by the way Shiloh you got a smokin hot body.

[bigdog0311]

Yes, knowing more "personal issues" than what is necessary for a good appointment can ruin a fantasy and the session itself......That is why I see providers, I get the drama at home, I do not need it with a paid provider. Even after I have seen a provider a few times, I still do not what to hear any drama either, that includes but not limited to: money problems, family problems, housing problems, basically, PROBLEMS!

I do not need a "therapist" either, so the exchange of pleasantries is great, maybe current events if you must chat, but I am paying you so that I can have MY definition of a good time, not to be your best friend to tell your life story to.

[Sir Lancehernot]

Practically every stripper and escort I've ever known, even briefly, seems to have more problems on her own than every other woman I know combined. And most don't mind telling you about them.

I don't want to hear about boyfriends, husbands, children, arrests, convictions, drugs, debt, custody issues, family crises, etc., UNLESS AND UNTIL we've managed to get to know each other well enough that I'm genuinely interested in knowing about them.

If you're my girlfriend-for-the-hour, I don't want to hear about boyfriends, husbands, girlfriends, other clients, gangbangs or blowbangs, though discussions of same can make a slut-for-the-hour session a little more interesting.

Therapy isn't a two-way street. What ladies so often fail to remember is that we're the client, and that providing companionship to a client sometimes includes having to listen to a bunch of stuff yo;re not really interested in. Clients are under no such obligation. Many of us see escorts because our lives are so fucked up that we need to get away from them for an hour or so; the last thing we want to hear about is how fucked-up someone else's life is.

You know, what's interesting to me, now that I think about it, is how much time, at least in my experience, clients and providers spend talking about personal things, and how so little (in all of my visits in the last several years) is spent talking about the things we do, would like to do, or are doing, in session. I'd much rather hear and respond to, "What would you like (me) to do?". instead of, "Wat do you do for a living?", to cite just one example. This applies especially to the L1/L2-only girls, who always practice their craft in silence. I'd like to change that, but somehow, blurting out, "God, your hands feel so good wrapped around my cock" just doesn't seem like an appropriate way to break the silence.

[guest043013-2]

Originally Posted by Shiloh Stevens

Could knowing too much personal information about a provider (personal drama, debt problems, legal problems, etc) ruin the fantasy?

And vice versa for ladies? I've discovered that while I love entertaining...I do not like being a therapist...unless I am actually being paid for a therapy session.

Actually I am paying you to be my therapist. Just may not be the type of therapy my insurance will cover.

It all depends on the situation. On a first visit, definitely shouldn't be any drama. If the lady & the guy progress to a friendship that includes personal sharing, then that is their decision. I do think that the courtesan type providers make their mark by being a shoulder for a guy to lean on.

Do most guys want to provide the shoulder for the ladies? No.

I haev had a few friends here in the industry. I don't have a problem in the world with letting a good friend cry on my shoulder. Would I be turned off if a gal did that to me on the first date? You better believe it. (Actually, that would be the case if I was paying or it was a real world date.)

[timothe]

I don't always want to hear the drama, but by the same token, I want to know the people I'm seeing. And I tend to like it when a provider trusts me with her issues. I'm probably more likely to see a provider again if I think she's a real person, not plastic.

[pmdelites]

sounds like another installment of http://eccie.net/showthread.php?t=388405

agree w/ lancehernot, tigercat and timothe - not on the first date [esp if i am paying for that time - i'd demand the stop watch be put on pause!]. even in civilian life, i wouldnt want to hear all about her problems, issues, family disputes, etc.

one provider, in between consulting activities, told me waaaaaaaaaaay too much info about her kids, her ex, her bf [who was in jail but getting out soon], her problems w/ other providers, etc..... never consulted w/ her again.

cos a) if she's telling me that, what is she telling others? and b) i have enough stuff going on in my life.

but, like tigercat said, if i've been consulting w/ her for a while [>6 mos], then i might let her start telling me about stuff, but i reserve the right to redirect her energies in a more deliteful direction.

[Shiloh Stevens]

I'd much rather hear and respond to, "What would you like (me) to do?" Sir Lancehernot

Great feedback!! I like the idea of building a romantic rendezvous with a client rather than being caught up in each other's personal issues.

I spend at least an hour getting ready for a client. During this time, I am clearly my mind from my own stress, getting into a sexy mood and getting ready to dive into a passionate escape that is therapeutic for me as well. I light the candles, select romantic music and take out a bottle of wine. What we are looking for is an escape right? A fantasy for just a moment.

But life does happen...and if my date arrives and spends 30 minutes talking about problems with his wife/gf and how life sucks......suddenly my mojo has disappeared.

[pyramider]

As the world turns . . . guiding light . . . all my childeren . . .

[Daen1304]

Eh, people always tell me their problems but I don't have that issue with strippers or providers. There was only one provider I have seen who talked my ear off, but I liked it. She mentioned proble but not in a way that suggested that she expected me to do anything about it, more like in the way that getting to know a person will occasionally bring up those issues.

And as far as strippers go they will gladly talk my ear off, but it's usually things more interesting than "pity me". As far as TMI breaking the illusion, well that's kind of what the term suggests.

[5150]

While I cannot speak for others IMO the first few sessions I have with the same provider I really do not want to hear about her problems and I don't want to explain mine. As we get to know each other and a friendship forms than hearing about your friends problems becomes part of the deal. That is just how I operate

Are you planning on coming to Dallas anytime soon?

[Guest022315]

Originally Posted by Shiloh Stevens

I'd much rather hear and respond to, "What would you like (me) to do?" Sir Lancehernot

Great feedback!! I like the idea of building a romantic rendezvous with a client rather than being caught up in each other's personal issues.

I spend at least an hour getting ready for a client. During this time, I am clearly my mind from my own stress, getting into a sexy mood and getting ready to dive into a passionate escape that is therapeutic for me as well. I light the candles, select romantic music and take out a bottle of wine. What we are looking for is an escape right? A fantasy for just a moment.

But life does happen...and if my date arrives and spends 30 minutes talking about problems with his wife/gf and how life sucks......suddenly my mojo has disappeared.

The focus during a session should be the client and provider enjoying each other. If there is Chemistry there will be no time for buzz kill issues