Ever Argued With A Conservative?

[1NEMESIS]

Debating a conservative is nothing more than an attempt to reach an unconscious mind that is more akin to that of a zombie than of a human being. It's the perpetual "dog chases tail" scenario where there is no conclusion other than their own.
Round and round and round and round ad infinitum……...

Case in point:

Liberal: The USA has fifty states.

Conservative: No, it doesn’t.

Liberal: Yes, it does. The USA has fifty states.

Conservative: What about Guam? What about that Guam, huh? Or the
Virgin Islands?

Liberal: Those are territories, not states. The USA has fifty states.

Conservative: Oh, so you’re saying those don’t count?

Liberal: Yes.

Conservative: Oh, so the people there don’t count? They’re not good enough, huh? I thought you liberals wanted everybody to be counted.

Liberal: No, I said the territories don’t count as states. The USA has fifty states.

Conservative: You’re really something, you know that? You liberals are always going on about how all of us conservatives are racists, how we don’t care about anybody but people who look like us. But you don’t even want to count the blacks who live in Guam as Americans.

Liberal: First of all, I never said all conservatives are racists.

Conservative: Yes, you did.

Liberal: No, I didn’t.

Conservative: Michael Moore says it.

Liberal: I’ve never heard him say that.

Conservative: Yes, he does! He most definitely does!

Liberal: Look, I don’t know what he says. That’s beside the point. And the people in Guam “count,” whatever that means. I don’t even know who lives in Guam; I don’t know the first thing about Guam. I’m just saying Guam isn’t a state * it’s a territory. The USA has fifty states.

Conservative: What about Puerto Rico?

Liberal: What?

Conservative: What about Puerto Rico, huh? You love all those Mexicans coming across the border stealing our jobs * you must LOVE Puerto Rico, right?

Liberal: I’ve never been to Puerto Rico.

Conservative: Well, I have, and those kind of people would be pretty offended to hear liberals like you saying they aren’t real Americans!

Liberal: I didn’t say that!

Conservative: You said they didn’t count!

Liberal: I didn’t say that either! No, wait, just wait… (takes deep breath). I only said the USA has fifty states. Puerto Rico isn’t a state it’s a commonwealth.

Conservative: And they don’t speak English!

Liberal: Well, many Puerto Ricans do.

Conservative: How do you know that? I’ve been there * you haven’t!

Liberal: All right, OK, fine, whatever. But the USA has fifty states.

Conservative: Well, I say Puerto Rico counts.

Liberal: Fine, but not as a state.

Conservative: Well, that’s YOUR opinion.

Liberal: It’s not my opinion * it’s a fact.

Conservative: Says you!

Liberal: No, not just “says me.” It’s a fact. Look it up.

Conservative: I don’t have time.

Liberal: You don’t have time to find out if the USA has fifty states?

Conservative: Listen, you may have time to sit around all day surfing on your liberal websites, downloading Michael Moore, but I’ve got things to do.

Liberal: Like reading about blacks in Guam and Mexicans in Puerto Rico?

Conservative: See, that’s why you guys always lose. I’m trying to have a nice conversation, and you just keep up with the insults!

Liberal: Listen, I didn’t mean to insult you.

Conservative: Oh, yes you did!

Liberal: No, look, I’m sorry, OK? I didn’t mean to insult you. Honestly. It’s just that… well, the USA has fifty states. That’s a fact. And I’m just trying to state a fact, and you’re getting very defensive, and…

Conservative: Oh, so now I’m defensive.

Liberal: Well…

Conservative: You just said you weren’t going to insult me!

Liberal: Look, I’m just trying to say the USA has fifty states!

Conservative: According to YOUR sources!

Liberal: MY sources?! What are you talking about? Look it up!

Conservative: I told you, I don’t have time to spend all day cruising the internet, looking up geography questions! Maybe if you were busier at your job, trying to live the American Dream, you wouldn’t have time for all this hate!

Liberal: I work hard at my job!

Conservative: Then why are you spending all day downloading Michael Moore?

Liberal: I don’t spend all day downloading Michael Moore! I don’t even know what you mean by that! All I’m saying is that the USA has fifty states!

Conservative: Again, according to YOU!

Liberal: Not just me! Here, here’s the World Book Encyclopedia. Look it up * it’s fifty states!

Conservative: Oh, sure, the World Book! Yeah, like I’m going to believe the World Book!

Liberal: What?

Conservative: Come on, it’s a liberal rag!

Liberal: (Long, teeth-gnashing pause) Look, just look up “United States of America.” Ten bucks it says, “the USA has fifty states.”

Conservative: Ten bucks, huh?

Liberal: Yeah, ten bucks. (pause) Wait, that’s the “M” volume.

Conservative: I know.

Liberal: You need to look under “U” for “United States.”

Conservative: I’m not looking for “United States.” I’m looking for “Moore, Michael.”

Liberal: What?!

Conservative: And when I find a big glowing article about him, you’re going to owe me ten bucks!

Liberal: Why would I owe you ten bucks?!

Conservative: You bet me ten bucks that the World Book Encyclopedia isn’t liberal.

Liberal: No I didn’t!

Conservative: Yes, you did! You bet me ten bucks that I couldn’t find a liberal article in the World Book. So when I find Michael Moore’s picture, you owe me ten bucks!

Liberal: Oh, my lord…

Conservative: AHA!

Liberal: Listen, you idiot, just because you found Michael Moore’s picture in the World Book doesn’t mean that I owe you ten bucks! It doesn’t mean the World Book is a liberal encyclopedia! And it certainly doesn’t mean the USA doesn’t have fifty states!!

Conservative: Oh, no? Look at this!

Liberal: (pause) “Massachusetts”?

Conservative: Bingo!

Liberal: What the hell does Massachusetts have to do with anything?

Conservative: The COMMONWEALTH of Massachusetts!

Liberal: So?

Conservative: So you said Puerto Rico is a commonwealth!

Liberal: Oh, no…

Conservative: You ADMITTED Puerto Rico was a commonwealth! Admit it, you said it!

Liberal: Oh, man…

Conservative: So if Massachusetts is a commonwealth, and Puerto Rico is a commonwealth, then they BOTH must be states! HA!

Liberal: OK, look…

Conservative: You owe me twenty bucks!

Liberal: What?

Conservative: Come one, pay up! Twenty bucks, let’s go!

Liberal: I don’t owe you twenty bucks!

Conservative: And I’m not even counting Pennsylvania!

Liberal: Pennsylvania?

Conservative: That’s a commonwealth, too!

Liberal: It’s a commonwealth, but…

Conservative: And Washington!

Liberal: All right, look, I lived in Seattle * Washington is NOT a commonwealth!

Conservative: Seattle’s not even a state * it’s a city!

Liberal: Yes, it’s a city, in Washington State! Washington’s a state!

Conservative: I’m talking about Washington D.C.

Liberal: What?

Conservative: Washington D.C. It’s a city.

Liberal: I know what it is!

Conservative: Well, you liberals are always going on about “Statehood for Washington!” Which, you admit, is already a state!

Liberal: Washington D.C. is not a state!

Conservative: Washington State is!

Liberal: You just said Washington D.C.!

Conservative: And you said it should be a state!

Liberal: I never said that! I mean, it should be… but I never…look…

Conservative: Should Washington be a state?

Liberal: Well…

Conservative: Simple question.

Liberal: Washington State?

Conservative: Yes or No?

Liberal: Washington State or Washington D.C.?

Conservative: Right.

(Long pause)

Conservative: He snorts cocaine.

(Long, painful pause)

Liberal: (slowly) This is Washington D.C. you’re talking about.

Conservative: Yeah. The mayor snorts cocaine.

Liberal: Actually, he’s no longer the mayor…

Conservative: I don’t think a state should have a governor who’s used drugs.

Liberal: He’s not the governor; Washington’s not a…

Conservative: Except maybe California.

Liberal: OK, OK, stop for a moment…

Conservative: I mean, that was a long time ago…

Liberal: Listen, listen…

Conservative: I don’t see Michael Moore making any movies about cocaine in Washington State, do you?

Liberal: Please, STOP!

(pause)

Liberal: Look, I’m just trying to make a simple point here…

Conservative: What about…

Liberal: STOP!!!

(long pause)

Liberal: I’m just trying to make a SIMPLE point here. It’s not a big deal * it’s just a fact. The USA has fifty states. That’s all! Yes, Puerto Rico is a commonwealth, but it isn’t counted among the fifty states. Yes, Massachusetts and Pennsylvania are commonwealths too. So are Virginia and, I think, Kentucky. I don’t know about Kentucky for sure, and you know what * it doesn’t matter! They’re considered
states, OK? They’re states. Washington D.C. isn’t one, even though I wish it was. Guam isn’t one. There are only fifty. Fifty states. Fifty stars on the flag * fifty states. That’s all. Fifty.

(long pause)

Conservative: Rush is so right about you people.

Liberal: Huh?

Conservative: Rush. He gets it. You people are the worst.

Liberal: I don’t…

Conservative: Here I am, trying to have an honest political discussion, and all you can do is bring up this liberal claptrap! You call people like Rush racists, but you don’t want to count Mexicans as Americans. You insult the Governor of California every chance you get. You get all your information from encyclopedias and Michael
Moore. You want free cocaine in Washington, and you want Seattle to become a commonwealth, and you won’t pay me my fifty dollars even after I proved that blacks run Guam! And then, worst of all, you insult our flag and our troops!!! You disgust me!

Liberal: Good-bye.

Conservative: See, there you liberals go again! Sneaking off to download porn from Kentucky! I’m not forgetting you owe me 100 dollars!

(pause)

Conservative: That’s it, cut and run!

(long pause)

Conservative: Why do you hate America?

UPDATE: Despite the obvious warning given by this and other diatribes about "arguing with a pig," there are still plenty of folks who try. I cordially extend a welcome to the blogroll to Canadian Cynic.

[I B Hankering]

Actually the argument went like this: On May 9, 2008, the liberal Obama said, "I've now been in 57 states; I think one left to go."

There was no retort because everyone else in the room was momentarily stunned by his profound ignorance.

[TheDaliLama]

"I've now been in 57 states; I think one left to go."


He forgot Alaska and Hawaii.

[Rakhir]

Truth be told I find such arguments to never be rooted in any factual basis. Oh yes they are amusing but notice there really isn't any substance coming from a liberal argument? I never see anything rooted in verifiable fact and if you try to introduce empirical evidence the subject is immediately changed to invoke some sort of emotional response rather than argue the evidence presented.

The exchange in this purported conversation centers around a trivial semantics but never delves into any sort of substance as the liberal side uses circular logic to attack. The conservative lacks any sort of argument because it succumbs to the premise queries used in the attack.

Amusing as this exchange might seem it is based upon fallacious preconceived stereotypes.

[i'va biggen]

Arguing with a conservative is a waste of time,they already have their mind made up,and no matter how overwhelming the facts they will not budge.They also flip flop so you are unsure where they stand.Also will cover a liberal LOL

[RichardGozenya]

actually,there are 46 states
(the term they use to describe themselves)

PLUS

The Commonwealth of Kentucky
The Commonwealth of Massachusetts
The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania
The Commonwealth of Virginia

call Nancy,Harry or Barry...
mmmmm...maybe,they can 'splain it to you

Why does the OP misrepresent the conservative
as being ignorant of the facts???
Oh! I forgot! That is what liberals do!

[Guest050715-1]

I have had this non sequitur argument with some people just like the “conservative” right here on this board. Funny read though.

Originally Posted by ekim008

Arguing with a conservative is a waste of time,they already have their mind made up,and no matter how overwhelming the facts they will not budge.They also flip flop so you are unsure where they stand.Also will cover a liberal LOL

Actually, I find dogmatic party parrots to be closed minded regardless of their liberal or conservative view.

[1NEMESIS]

Originally Posted by ekim008

Arguing with a conservative is a waste of time,they already have their mind made up,and no matter how overwhelming the facts they will not budge.They also flip flop so you are unsure where they stand.Also will cover a liberal LOL

Speaking of flip flops, I just heard this joke:

A democrat, a republican and an independent walk into a bar, then the bartender says "Hey Mitt!" hee hee

[blue3122]

Originally Posted by OliviaHoward

I have had this non sequitur argument with some people just like the “conservative” right here on this board. Funny read though.



Actually, I find dogmatic party parrots to be closed minded regardless of their liberal or conservative view.

Bingo!! We have a winner. The ends of the spectrum is not where we want our leader to come from.

Unfortunately, I think that is what we have now and will likely have for four more years.

[Mokoa]

This trial balloon has already been popped.

http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=379626

[MUSHROOM MAN]

As far as 1NEMESIS goes, I think there is something wrong in his medula oblongata. Liberalism is a MENTAL DISORDER.

[MC]

Originally Posted by MUSHROOM MAN

Liberalism is a MENTAL DISORDER.

I don't post much in this section of the site, but comments like this just get on my nerves. I'm so sick of the majority of threads in the National sandbox being about how "Liberals are crazy/evil/ruining America," as well as the threads that do the same things to Conservatives. I'm not saying we need to join hands and sing Kumbaya, but I think at least some political discourse can be made without each side making the other to be the fucking boogeyman.

And to the OP, a tad long, don't you think? Political humor can be funny but this just got annoying after a while.

End of rant.

[1NEMESIS]

Originally Posted by Mokoa

This trial balloon has already been popped.

http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=379626

Hey mokoa, you know that there are no rules here right?!?

[1NEMESIS]

Originally Posted by MC

I don't post much in this section of the site, but comments like this just get on my nerves. I'm so sick of the majority of threads in the National sandbox being about how "Liberals are crazy/evil/ruining America," as well as the threads that do the same things to Conservatives. I'm not saying we need to join hands and sing Kumbaya, but I think at least some political discourse can be made without each side making the other to be the fucking boogeyman.

And to the OP, a tad long, don't you think? Political humor can be funny but this just got annoying after a while.

End of rant.

No, I don't think it's too long and who the fuck made you read it?

[1NEMESIS]

Originally Posted by Mokoa

This trial balloon has already been popped.

http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=379626

Much like your fucking brain mokoa...