Remember the saying "agree to disagree"? Well, it seems many here don't and I would be guilty of that myself on occasion. There are times I am very critical of other ladies who I don't feel are genuinely interested about the hobbyists and are more "hustler" or fakers. They irritate the hell outta me, but we're all different in our approach & comfort levels. Some of our ladies strike me as primadonna "look at me" types who also irritate the hell outta me.
*** Staff edit of personal attacks. ***
Honesty and unconditional love are two things sadly lacking in today's society. Why can't intimacy in it's most raw form be understood as a "need" and not a "deviance"? That's a HUGE topic & not one for this thread, but wanted to get that line of deductive leaps started in the minds of the open-minded for future discussion.
*** Staff edit of personal attacks. ***
An Aside: Please don't assume I am just "against" or "uninformed" about the BDSM community as that would be incorrect. I researched that world for years both in reading and action, and had a mentor who was a Master Dom Trainer whose wife was high-up in the organization providing these services. I have no issue w/ that school of belief or living your life as it's a personal choice. These same expectations delivered via protocol are IMO
not appropriate when employed in the hobby. I've already covered that discussion in a previous novella which I have never reread to this day as I would probably blush. I digress...
It is NOT my place to determine if something is appropriate or inappropriate in any authoritative context; however, we all have our own perceptions & expectations about ethics in any business. As individuals, it's our choice what vendor we support. My opinions and personal examples are shared here merely to assist in illustrating a point.
Sensual Sophia and I have had disagreements about some points over the years, but she is always rational in her arguments and able to express her ideas clearly. We have agreed to disagree more than once. She suffered disrespect at the hands of one of my regular clients which made me feel horrible and resulted in my client receiving notice from me that I would no longer be available. She has integrity despite having differences in her motivations than mine. I admire that and will always give her kudos as deserved.
To return to a "teaser" only mentioned earlier, I want to elaborate briefly on deductive reasoning. Deductive leaps occur when a person is presented with a scenario and its possible outcome. They can either buy into the theory presented them immediately, or allow their mind to take over & start calculating other possibilities within seconds. Later on, down the road a bit, they are faced with this same or similar situation, and because they have already made some deductions previously, they are prepared and ready to take action to affect their preferred outcome.
What if we all started making a more concerted effort to give a damn about each others feelings? Because we have the ability to show tolerance, we allow someone w/ rougher edges taste a bit of the fine life and nurture them with some tips in how to properly comport themselves? Or maybe we decide that we're going to hold on to anger and hatred when someone crosses us and instead, move on! There's no reason for personal attacks or attacks on groups as a whole because there is always a REASON why someone sees things differently.
We are the sum of our experiences, remember? Most of you guys out there are smart enough to know this already & there are ladies who are genuine enough to allow for this, too. There are some new players joining the fray all the time and some have been quietly watching from the sidelines, but no two people will be on exactly the same wavelength thus debates, arguments & resentment. Lovely cycle, eh?
Some of you are now going "what does this have to do w/ anything?" Well, it causes the negative undercurrents that are engulfing our little community here in Austin. We have always been very conservative in comparison to larger cities which are more diversified in their offerings & interests. To them, Austin is pretty vanilla or plain jane.
The hobbyists tend to be very naive at times, too, so are apt to take to heart the opinions of their fave provider up to that point. They are not always aware of affiliations or tendencies by members who may have tunnel vision in regard to our local scene, so they merely echo the opinions of the one they admire most. Eventually, truths are exposed or buried well enough for a general concensus to develop and the issue merely fades away.
Lurkers probably see the big picture better than the active posters as they don't become encumbered by emotion and allow themselves to be swayed by people they haven't "known" beyond forum postings. That's probably why they tend to be the best clients. Less drama, more respect and no problem in complying w/ the preferred protocol of their chosen date. However, being less involved with the community members can mean being limited by blind spots in their research.
Greymouse makes valid statements in regard to the main purpose for a hobby board. People are looking to make a connection. To have a meaningful and powerful connection, build it up to a high level of intimacy via sharing of thoughts and touch, and be rewarded with satisfaction that at least meets our needs even if not exceeding them, requires more than some pics and a rate list. It requires getting a feel for each other for some more choosy shoppers.
Expressing our opinions here in the Coed Forum is the only vehicle for direct interaction given to providers. Many of my clients have based their decision to see me on their impressions derived from my responses. I know the numbers and they indicate that it's in my best interest to be an "active" participant. That's not difficult for me as you can tell by this post alone that I not only love our community, but have no problem sharing my thoughts even if they may not win me any points. I am who I am & that applies to each of us.
Don't be afraid to be REAL sometimes. Whether you're having a bad day or a good day, at least be willing to humble yourself to apologizing when you're wrong. If you disagree w/ someone, agree to move on and realize you're only saving yourself energy for other endeavors. When someone doesn't meet your expectations, be honest in accepting that it's their choice as to what they will do and how and look for someone who more closely mirrors your viewpoints. Relatability relies upon a truthful and REAL representation to be determined worthy or not.
These are my opinions and you can take 'em or leave 'em. I stand behind them until further evidence sways me otherwise. I'm also willing to apologize for any unintended slights or TMI that may have been included in an effort to convey an idea more clearly. It's hard to be vague to protect in the name of discretion when some facts are missing that affect the big picture. If I weren't so without guile, I'd probably recognize those things that should be omitted more easily. It's a fault beyond my understanding at times.
Just call me Yosemite cuz I'm a straight shooter!
Kat
P.S. I hope those I mention in my illustrations realize that I don't care what people think as long as they're getting good information. When they're being given skewed facts to further a personal agenda against me, that's different. Anything you take issue with me about can be discussed via personal channels rather than showering the rest of the community w/ bullshit & distracting them from the focus of their intent here to have a
KATASTROPHICALLY FUN TIME!!!! UN-limited, if possible. lol
XOXOX
Kat
