JEALOUSY does it belong in the hobby world???

[Still Looking]

When do you see jealousy in the hobby world! Who is jealous and why? Let’s just share our observations and feelings!

[tonytiger4u]

Jealousy doesn't belong in any world. In my life experiences, jealousy is always from someone who has never had an abundance of anything. When I was broke, I would do anything to get ahead. Dreams and goals were all I thought about. Once I achieved some financial success, I noticed a change in many of the people that I knew before. After reaching many goals, in hindsight, the "materiel things" I was chasing became no big deal. I enjoyed sharing them with others more than enjoying them myself. Hell, they could've borrowed the Mercedes SL500 roadster convertible or the Jaguar Vanden Plas anytime! The friends that had big dreams and the ambition to go after them, were motivated not jealous. The ones that had dreams with no real plan to achieve them, became quite jealous. They accused me of rubbing it in their faces when all I really wanted do was share it with them. To them, I was a reminder of their failure and lack of ambition. Most don't want to deal with their own negative reality so it didn't end well for some of my closest friends.

It's no different for you here, SL. Every guy wants to be the cool guy with all the witty comebacks, scoring all the hot chicks, etc. In reality, guys, just being the very best you will get you all you ever dreamed of in life. Look in the mirror, be honest, and get to work. (not talking about physical appearance) Once you start overcome the little things you gain confidence. Confidence helps you overcome bigger things which leads to more confidence. Eventually the cycle will snowball into one tough determined ball of fire that can't be stopped and you will be living your dreams before you know it. Don't be jealous, be motivated!

[Still Looking]

Originally Posted by tonytiger4u

Jealousy doesn't belong in any world. In my life experiences, jealousy is always from someone who has never had an abundance of anything. When I was broke, I would do anything to get ahead. Dreams and goals were all I thought about. Once I achieved some financial success, I noticed a change in many of the people that I knew before. After reaching many goals, in hindsight, the "materiel things" I was chasing became no big deal. I enjoyed sharing them with others more than enjoying them myself. Hell, they could've borrowed the Mercedes SL500 roadster convertible or the Jaguar Vanden Plas anytime! The friends that had big dreams and the ambition to go after them, were motivated not jealous. The ones that had dreams with no real plan to achieve them, became quite jealous. They accused me of rubbing it in their faces when all I really wanted do was share it with them. To them, I was a reminder of their failure and lack of ambition. Most don't want to deal with their own negative reality so it didn't end well for some of my closest friends.

It's no different for you here, SL. Every guy wants to be the cool guy with all the witty comebacks, scoring all the hot chicks, etc. In reality, guys, just being the very best you will get you all you ever dreamed of in life. Look in the mirror, be honest, and get to work. (not talking about physical appearance) Once you start overcome the little things you gain confidence. Confidence helps you overcome bigger things which leads to more confidence. Eventually the cycle will snowball into one tough determined ball of fire that can't be stopped and you will be living your dreams before you know it. Don't be jealous, be motivated!

Well said TT! There is not a day that goes by where I don't try to be Burk or Shorty! Try as I may I know I'll always fall short. But at least I'm trying! LOL

I just love your new avatar! Now thats funny!

Speaking of Short Comings.... every time a provider asks me who do you think your going to satisfy with that "little thing"? My answers always the same.... "ME!"

[Naomi4u]

Well --- what do you think? This is a business.

Provider competing against providers for business so there will be jealousy. When one provider looks better than another provider, there will be jealousy - why? I don't know. I love hot chicks. Hell I thought Amy Taylor was HOT as hell until the shit she pulled. When providers come to Charlotte, I'm apart of the welcoming committee and will go above and beyond to help them. I tell them where to stay/where not to say, who not to see, tell them about restaurants and hangout in the area..etc. There is enough money to go around.

SL,What I don't understand is when two people that have never met will blatantly plot against another provider. I also don't understand why a provider will go out of her way to spread lies and make up rumors about another provider especially when they live in different states. Anyone that has met me in person know that I am not a mean person but I do speak my mind. What I have found about the hobby is there is lots of he said/she said going on. I have learned (the hard way) not to take rumors seriously. He said/She said is usually some bullshit lie/rumor. Emails and Pms are altered every day I've had it happen to me (but by a hobbyist two years ago). These are things that have happened either to me or friends of mine.

As far as "jealousy" goes, I am not jealous of anyone here and will never be. Me being jealous means that I want something that person has and I cannot get it. Jealousy and envy has no place here but it's here. Providers suck and fuck for money. I envy the woman in corporate america that has her own yacht not a provider that lays her back and in less than a week she can buy a car. I envy the man that drives a porsche/a maserati/ a lamborgini but I don't have hatred in my heart for him. In my eyes, those people work hard as hell, not a provider. Flame away but I have always seen MY work as being easy. When someone can make what I make in a year doing nonsexual work, it amazes me. I have nothing but respect for that person. I know where I'm from and what people strive to be and a prostitute is not in that list. While I love what I do, I never forget people out there in the real world that work hard as hell to get where they are and those people I envy.

I have found a lot of providers here have REAL hate in their hearts for other providers due to jealously. So they get together and bash them in other areas of the site, create blogs about other providers, out them and think they're making themselves look better. When a provider goes out of her way to trash another provider meanwhile the girl doing the trashing doesn't have her shit together herself? That is jealousy but ...it's also comical . SL, It is like ECCIE. When someone goes out of their way to trash eccie but creates another site dedicated to ECCIE but bashing ECCIE... what the fuck do you call that? Jealousy.

Back to providers: You can't really badmouth someone you have never met/Someone you don't know. When you do so, you are jealous of that person. SL, when I think of jealousy, I think about all the fake friendships that are formed here only to gain material to use against the girl later, I think of a friend of mine that was busted in Washington State because someone she thought was her friend outed her to the police..etc. I could go on. Anyways, I'm based in North Carolina and have never been to Texas but post on eccie for the entertainment value. I have met 6 people on this site total (EdHighlight, LisaLisa NinaSastri, CarolinaGent, London and WTF). Any provider that has anything negative to say about me and has not met me is just --- welll "Jealous". People need to start focusing on themselves and stop worried about everyone else. Stop spreading lies because you cannot be like that person/stop making up rumors because you are so obsessed with that person/Focus on your business. If you're a provider and you know every move another provider makes, you're not making a good business decision. You are spending all your time obessesing about someone you will never meet/someone you don't know. When will you stop?

As I said earlier, there is enough money to go around. We are all different and unique in our own way, the clients will always be there. There is no need for hate/cattiness. SL, Some of the things that goes on behind the scenes is brutal and ugly as you know. It's tiresome. We should all get together, sing a song and kiss and makeup but I doubt that will happen anytime soon .

And for those wonderful gents that have no clue what I am talking about, You only see that ads. It gets really ugly behind the scenes. Did I answer your question, SL ?

xoxo,
Z

P.S Bashing/trashing goes on amongst guys too but I believe the providers fuel it.
As for the internet trolls, they will always be there. There is a reason why they are here
and they do nothing but bash and trash.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by tonytiger4u

It's no different for you here, SL. Every guy wants to be the cool guy with all the witty comebacks, scoring all the hot chicks, etc. In reality, guys, just being the very best you will get you all you ever dreamed of in life. Look in the mirror, be honest, and get to work. (not talking about physical appearance) Once you start overcome the little things you gain confidence. Confidence helps you overcome bigger things which leads to more confidence. Eventually the cycle will snowball into one tough determined ball of fire that can't be stopped and you will be living your dreams before you know it. Don't be jealous, be motivated!

Exactly! I've been told by a few guys that they hate SL's guts because he has money to blow on chicks every other day LOL. So silly.

[Guest041413-2]

Ok, ok...SL, you got me and I know you are talking about me. Yes, I am jealous of your avatar. I've been tempted AND attempted to steal it and use it as mine. Yes. I admit it. I've searched for better avatars only to wind up in a jealous rage. Everytime I see your avatar, it makes me realize how pathetic I am when it comes to being creative. And, you post a helluva lot, so I get reminded of THAT a lot. As TT stated, yes, it reminds me of my short comings. Pathetic I know.

Originally Posted by Still Looking

When do you see jealousy in the hobby world! Who is jealous and why? Let’s just share our observations and feelings!

[Milehigh65]

Originally Posted by ZarahAdams

Well --- what do you think? This is a business.

Provider competing against providers for business so there will be jealousy. When one provider looks better than another provider, there will be jealousy - why? I don't know. I love hot chicks. Hell I thought Amy Taylor was HOT as hell until the shit she pulled. When providers come to Charlotte, I'm apart of the welcoming committee and will go above and beyond to help them. I tell them where to stay/where not to say, who not to see, tell them about restaurants and hangout in the area..etc. There is enough money to go around.

SL,What I don't understand is when two people that have never met will blatantly plot against another provider. I also don't understand why a provider will go out of her way to spread lies and make up rumors about another provider especially when they live in different states. Anyone that has met me in person know that I am not a mean person but I do speak my mind. What I have found about the hobby is there is lots of he said/she said going on. I have learned (the hard way) not to take rumors seriously. He said/She said is usually some bullshit lie/rumor. Emails and Pms are altered every day I've had it happen to me (but by a hobbyist two years ago). These are things that have happened either to me or friends of mine.

As far as "jealousy" goes, I am not jealous of anyone here and will never be. Me being jealous means that I want something that person has and I cannot get it. Jealousy and envy has no place here but it's here. Providers suck and fuck for money. I envy the woman in corporate america that has her own yacht not a provider that lays her back and in less than a week she can buy a car. I envy the man that drives a porsche/a maserati/ a lamborgini but I don't have hatred in my heart for him. In my eyes, those people work hard as hell, not a provider. Flame away but I have always seen MY work as being easy. When someone can make what I make in a year doing nonsexual work, it amazes me. I have nothing but respect for that person. I know where I'm from and what people strive to be and a prostitute is not in that list. While I love what I do, I never forget people out there in the real world that work hard as hell to get where they are and those people I envy.

I have found a lot of providers here have REAL hate in their hearts for other providers due to jealously. So they get together and bash them in other areas of the site, create blogs about other providers, out them and think they're making themselves look better. When a provider goes out of her way to trash another provider meanwhile the girl doing the trashing doesn't have her shit together herself? That is jealousy but ...it's also comical . SL, It is like ECCIE. When someone goes out of their way to trash eccie but creates another site dedicated to ECCIE but bashing ECCIE... what the fuck do you call that? Jealousy.

Back to providers: You can't really badmouth someone you have never met/Someone you don't know. When you do so, you are jealous of that person. SL, when I think of jealousy, I think about all the fake friendships that are formed here only to gain material to use against the girl later, I think of a friend of mine that was busted in Washington State because someone she thought was her friend outed her to the police..etc. I could go on. Anyways, I'm based in North Carolina and have never been to Texas but post on eccie for the entertainment value. I have met 6 people on this site total (EdHighlight, LisaLisa NinaSastri, CarolinaGent, London and WTF). Any provider that has anything negative to say about me and has not met me is just --- welll "Jealous". People need to start focusing on themselves and stop worried about everyone else. Stop spreading lies because you cannot be like that person/stop making up rumors because you are so obsessed with that person/Focus on your business. If you're a provider and you know every move another provider makes, you're not making a good business decision. You are spending all your time obessesing about someone you will never meet/someone you don't know. When will you stop?

As I said earlier, there is enough money to go around. We are all different and unique in our own way, the clients will always be there. There is no need for hate/cattiness. SL, Some of the things that goes on behind the scenes is brutal and ugly as you know. It's tiresome. We should all get together, sing a song and kiss and makeup but I doubt that will happen anytime soon .

And for those wonderful gents that have no clue what I am talking about, You only see that ads. It gets really ugly behind the scenes. Did I answer your question, SL ?

xoxo,
Z

P.S Bashing/trashing goes on amongst guys too but I believe the providers fuel it.
As for the internet trolls, they will always be there. There is a reason why they are here
and they do nothing but bash and trash.

Preach young lady; well said ..................... ...

[Still Looking]

Somehow I don't think we’re all going to be singing Kumbaya.

You have guys jealous of guys, girls jealous of girls and guys jealous of girls and girls jealous of guys. You have hobbying and a hobby board. While I think you most certainly addressed some of those something tells me there’s a lot more.

I just look at the drastic differences yet similarities in both you and TT perspective. I think we can all agree that judging someone we have never met and know nothing about is wrong. I personally judge people by how they treat me. But if I witness then shitting on someone else I judge that as well. Unless its founded of course.

This also works the opposite way as well! Example: I wouldn't know Shayla if she bit me on the ass later today (I can dream!) But I judge her from her pictures (Including the nasty ones she sent me!) and board presence. We are all guilty of judging people without meeting them. And I feel we are justified in doing so. Now launching personal attacks that’s something totally different. There are some very nice people here. They are funny thought provoking and even inspiring.

There is a big difference between Envy and jealousy! Smart people always pick Envy! I see a guy with a super hot chick I don't think, he is an ass hole and she should be with me! I think that lucky SOB! LOL Good for him. In the same token if a lady is HOT should other providers dislike her for the very thing they wish they had? Silly isn't it?

I own sports cars because they please me not my friends or my neighbors. Unlike TT I don't share LOL. But we all know if you are successful there are those out there that feel it should NOT BE YOU but it should be THEM! I always find it interesting that when they find out that success had a price tag they aren't interested in paying the price. Think Alluring Ava has a body of a 20 year old by accident! That hottie is in the gym all the damn time! People just want what they want!

I've said it before, I'll say it again. 99.9% of all problems come from one thing and one thing only! "SHELFISHNESS!" It’s what causes people to be jealous! I could be wrong but I don't think so. But what do I know, I'm just a man whore! LOL But I'll enjoy listening to other peoples perspectives and listen with an open mind! Right up the moment they disagree with me! LOL

[Naomi4u]

SL, before I respond to that comment, please allow me to say that you are the worse person to argue with. LOL!

[Sweet N Little]

+1 with Z and Tiger

Jealousy to me is such a waste of energy but a sad reality in life, Ive seen it rear its ugly head more here than back in high school. They could never have an all female Oceans 11 because at least two of the girls would get jealous of the others and fu*k it up for everyone.

Rather than focus on the negative we should all try to be more positive and I promise you life will be a lot more enjoyable....its a lot more fun being happy! I say banish the green eyed monster lol here's some tips

1. 1
   Understand the emotions. Jealousy is a combination of fear and anger: fear of losing something and anger that someone is "moving in on" something that you feel belongs only to you.
2. 2
   Allow yourself to actually 'feel' emotions in a healthy way. When you start feeling jealous, ask yourself: Is it more fear-based or more anger-based, and why? Recognize which part of your body is being affected. If you feel a dropping or clutching sensation in your stomach, it’s probably fear. If you feel a burning, tight sensation in your shoulders and jaw, then you’re likely feeling anger. You might also feel a combination of those sensations. You should just show non-jealous feelings on your face so you don't became hated.
3. 3
   Communicate your feelings. Sharing your true feelings with someone without blaming them can create a deep sense of connection between the two of you and open up a dialogue about the path of your relationship. Use "I" instead of "you." Instead of saying, "You shouldn't have done that," say, "I felt terrible when that happened."
4. 4
   Identify what your jealousy is teaching you. Jealousy can alert you to what you want and what is important to you. If you’re jealous of someone talking to a friend of yours, personal relationships may be important to you. If you’re jealous about money, you may have an underlying need for security or freedom. Ask yourself, "Why am I jealous over this? What is making me jealous? What am I trying to keep? Why do I feel threatened?" When you begin to understand what makes you jealous, you can begin to take positive steps to maintain those things, without the cloud of negative emotion that accompanies jealousy.
5. 5
   Change any false beliefs that might cause jealousy. There are often false beliefs that underlie jealousy and fuel emotion. If you examine the belief, you can often eliminate the jealousy. Some common underlying beliefs are “Everyone is out to get my money” or “If this person leaves me, I won't have any friends.” Beliefs are changeable. If you change your belief, you change the way you feel. Choose to tell yourself a belief that is nurturing and supportive, and you’ll feel better. When you begin taking steps to creating a happy and fulfilling life for yourself, you will find the anger, the jealousy, and the fear will disappear. Don't listen to people who make you jealous.
6. 6
   Make a list of all your good points and only compare yourself to yourself rather than to others. Raise your sense of self worth and self confidence by acknowledging your accomplishments, inner qualities and other good things about you. One way to change your belief system and inner dialogue, is to journal on a daily basis supportive messages to yourself. In time, your efforts will begin to sink into your subconscious. And as a result, you'll develop new inner strengths, diminish any envious feelings, and feel more joy within and in life.
7. 7
   Work on your self esteem. If you have more confidence in yourself you will be less likely to allow jealousy to have power over you.
8. 8
   Fake it. Portray a non-jealous facade while you work on overcoming jealousy. Eventually, working your way through your feelings, the facade will become real, but in the meantime you will protect yourself from appearing jealous to others.

[Sweet N Little]

Actually this is better

• Jealousy is not the same thing as love. Sometimes, people think that by feeling jealous about someone, they are loving them by envying the things they have. Jealousy is not love; it’s the fear and anger of losing out. Jealousy disappears when you fully understand that to covet someone or something else that does not belong to you is a misjudgement and more than likely a distortion.
• Learn to be happy with yourself and what you have, unless what you lack is due to oppression, and if that is the case, if you have the ability to stick up for yourself and cause changes that will benefit everyone in your situation, including yourself.
• Everyone is different, and each person has good and bad qualities. Realize that you have the potential to create a better future.
• Try to talk about your problems with someone. Perhaps you feel that these jealous tendencies are a private matter; then, you ought to anonymously ask an advice column or similar construct about your problem.
• Irrational jealousy usually stems from indoctrinated social values which do not favor people such as yourself. Both you and society may hold such values. Of course, its easier to challenge your own values than that of others, start here first. Often, American psychology purposely confuses the concept that one has low self-esteem when the truth is, external influences, such as the media, cause degraded and distorted social values, not internalized deficiencies. Self-esteem is a concept invented to blame the victim, when the reality is the victim is being punished for not towing the line to the wants which are constantly being spewed from things like popular media and traditional means of social control. Reject these glorified values and be yourself and be proud to be different.
• Realize that it is very often your own viewpoint is distorting reality. The grass is always greener and often the mind singles out a distorted piece of the whole which you want, but conveniently ignores negative aspects which come packaged with the positive. When you are jealous, you may think, "I want that; it would be nice to have that thing or experience for myself" However, people are different and the other person may be suffering unknowingly or in ways you cannot foresee or comprehend. Trade your anger for curiosity, try to get the bigger picture before making rash judgments.

[Still Looking]

Originally Posted by mijo(BFE)

Ok, ok...SL, you got me and I know you are talking about me. Yes, I am jealous of your avatar. I've been tempted AND attempted to steal it and use it as mine. Yes. I admit it. I've searched for better avatars only to wind up in a jealous rage. Everytime I see your avatar, it makes me realize how pathetic I am when it comes to being creative. And, you post a helluva lot, so I get reminded of THAT a lot. As TT stated, yes, it reminds me of my short comings. Pathetic I know.

I'm calling BULL SHIT! I have read your reviews. You have trophied the coveted London Rayne! You have frequented some of the hottest little cutie's Houston has to offer. So what day did you want to make the switch??? Pot calling the kettle black if I ever heard it! LOL But I'm keeping my baby troll. Drives some people crazy... I like that! I just love it when guys use the word creepy!

Oh and welcome back stud master!

[Still Looking]

Originally Posted by ZarahAdams

SL, before I respond to that comment, please allow me to say that you are the worse person to argue with. LOL!

Thank you! I didn't know we were arguing? I thought it was foreplay? I might have my own views but I agree with everything you posted.... almost! LOL

And we all know this is not the first time I've PATIENTLY let you collect your thoughts! LOL Isn't love grand! "Sigh"

[Biomech]

Originally Posted by Still Looking

There is a big difference between Envy and jealousy!

Hate to get technical, but there isn't a big difference between envy and jealousy. In fact, they are synonyms. Both imply a resentment for someone who possess an advantage.

[Naomi4u]

I just look at the drastic differences yet similarities in both you and TT perspective. I think we can all agree that judging someone we have never met and know nothing about is wrong. I personally judge people by how they treat me. But if I witness then shitting on someone else I judge that as well. Unless its founded of course.

Judging someone you have never met is stupid. Where is Edhighlight? He met me when half of this board thought I was the biggest bitch but met someone that was total opposite. Lisa Lisa, NinaSastri, Ed, WTF, London, CG would all say the same but ask 15 people on eccie that has never met me and you will get a different response and those people don't even know what I look like/what I'm like..etc. Just throwing out examples here. Some people are just like their board personas but not everyone is. Can you blame them? When you are in a business that requires some level of anonymity how can you be 100% yourself? SL, You cannot.

There is a big difference between Envy and jealousy! Smart people always pick Envy! I see a guy with a super hot chick I don't think, he is an ass hole and she should be with me! I think that lucky SOB! LOL Good for him. In the same token if a lady is HOT should other providers dislike her for the very thing they wish they had? Silly isn't it?

Bingo. I would say there is a fine line between envy and jealousy (but not much of a big difference). I recently had my first girl/girl experience and that was the best experience ever. I love girls -- especially when they're hot and they have a price tag (as in I can take them into the VIP room). I could never be jealous of a hot provider in the same token. What upsets me is ugly providers that can't even get their hair, nails done and bash others, Providers that don't even have their shit together and bash others, Provider that constantly lie about their age or whatever else and bash others, Providers that have to bash behind closed doors and cannot attack directly, Providers that spread lies and rumors about people they do not know (both men and women), Providers that out people and accuse others of outing because they want someone to drag down with them, Providers that blacklist clients for no reason, Providers that send hate mail from anonymous email addresses but yet don't think that you can trace the email to their homes (yes brainiac we know who you are), Providers that have to email the whole state telling providers not to give another provider a reference...etc. When you're a hooker and you're clearly over the age of 18 and you live with your mom or you dad and can't even afford to get your own place but yet you bash other providers that clearly have their shit together, you are the one that's jealous and it is your antics that are truly disgusting. That is what upsets me. Hot providers do not upset me in fact. Hot providers that are full of shit upset me (but I have not met those yet just wannabes). However, for a low drama hot provider, I am always more than happy to take them out to dinner if they're in the area So SL, You see why I could never envy a provider? Most come with too much shit/are full of shit and by the time you're done listening to all the bs you never know what to believe.

I own sports cars because they please me not my friends or my neighbors. Unlike TT I don't share LOL. But we all know if you are successful there are those out there that feel it should NOT BE YOU but it should be THEM!

If I have learned anything in this life is that sometimes people do not like to see other successful people. I do. I love to see people that have more than me it makes me want to work harder. Here on eccie, anyone can make up anything. I don't believe half of the shit I read because I know people in the hobby can be so full of shit. I knew a guy that would go around dating providers and reviewing the dates (he was not paying for) and the whole site thought he was some sort of millionaire - which was in fact the exact opposite. He's very handsome, dates providers (actually dates them) and pretty much reviews his relationships and those were the majority of the reviews he wrote. Are people fucked up or what? I never believe anything I read anymore unless I know that person forreal.

I've said it before, I'll say it again. 99.9% of all problems come from one thing and one thing only! "SHELFISHNESS!" It’s what causes people to be jealous! I could be wrong but I don't think so. But what do I know, I'm just a man whore! LOL But I'll enjoy listening to other peoples perspectives and listen with an open mind! Right up the moment they disagree with me! LOL

I will have to disagree with that comment. 99% of the problems come from insecurities. For some, when they are unsure of themselves they drag others down with them. They bash and trash others. When their lives isn't going the way they planned, they make up things in their heads about other people and use it to attack them. It's all psychology. Ever heard the saying misery loves company? Recently I looked at a provider's gallery - one that was attacking me and I immediatly realize why she was bashing me as hard as she was. Hell Everything made sense at that moment.