Let's Hear Your Limericks

[i'va biggen]

In days of old
when Knights were bold
they put old socks upon their cocks
this way babies were prevented

[Prowordsmith]

There was a young man from St. Claire
Who was fucking his wife on the stair
But the bannister broke
So he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in the air!

[essence]

There was a young man from eccie
who liked to enjoy a party
they jumped in the pool
and he grew like a mule
and the water got very frothy

One sat on his face
Another secured it with a lace
The third held his legs
He cried and he begs
For release in the fourth's embrace

So she mounted him bold
and he took a good hold
The water became stormy
they all got horny
and finished the job as foretold

The next girl say try me
My pussy is tiny
He pushed in the lead
She squirted and fed
Her juices into the next girls head

Primed with his cum
she said use my bum
He was feeling quite sore
But wanted some more
So fucked her tight ass drum

The beats got deeper
the nipples got pinker
He kept going hard
he satisfied the fucktard
and slapped her ass with a slipper

[Slow Poke]

There was a young man from Uppingham
Who stood on the bridge at Buckingham,
Watching the stunts of the cunts below in the punts,
and the tricks of the pricks who were fucking 'em.

There was a proud lady of Madrid
Who swore that she would never be rid,
Until along came an Italian
With balls like a stallion,
Who swore that she would and he did.

There once was a sailor from Brighton
Who said to his girl "You've a tight 'un",
She said "On my soul, you're in the wrong hole,
But there's plenty of room in the right 'un."

[essence]

There was a young man from eccie
Who used to watch too much telly
One day he jacked off
To the football play off
And came all over his belly

There was a young girl from eccie
Who thought DATY was yuckie
She screened a guy
Who turned up by and by
And ate her till she screamed yippie!

There was an old guy from eccie
Who loved to gift jewelry
The girls would flock
To mount his cock
And found he was very fruity

There was an old guy from eccie
Who liked a nice firm booty
Some were too droopy
Others too loopy
But sometimes he found a true beauty

There was a young girl from eccie
Who lacked something in the department chesty
Her nips stood proud
Her orgasms were loud
Her lovers next day were achy

(sorry tlc)

There was a stripper who could dance
Her cheek butts into a trance
They would jiggle and quiver
Like the Mississipi river
I decided to give her a glance

She saw my shy look
She thought it was a hook
And came to disturb my beer
I told her to come home
So I can drive my bone
She gave me a look quite queer

I said do you have a friend
Who can come and lend
An added attraction for the play
She said I'll ring my cousin
She is always fussin
To become a rich guy's babe

(I seem to have slipped out of limeric style)

[essence]

There was a girl from eccie
Who used to date a yuppie
He kept to a rule
To only use his tool
Every other week on a friday

She got quite frustrated
She wanked and masturbated
He worked all hours
He summoned his powers
But his manhood was always deflated

She took a job as a stripper
She wanted a man to fuck her
She worked the room
She smiled with a bloom
And told them they have to tip her

She took them to VIP
And gave them a cup of tea
They said what's up
I came here to fuck
She said just donate some cream

[I'll carry on until y'all beg for mercy]

[i'va biggen]

You left a line out dipshit

In days of old when Knights were bold
and rubbers weren't invented
they put old socks upon their cocks
this way babies were prevented

[BangOver]

There once was a nympho named Jill,
tried a dynamite stick for a thrill.
They found her vagina in North Carolina,
and bits of her tits in Brazil.

[Jack Kinghoff]

There once was a man named Magruder,
Who met a nude and he wooed her.
The nude thought it crude to be wooed in the nude...
But Magruder was shrewd and he screwed her.

[Jack Kinghoff]

There once was a lady from Nizes,
With tits of two different sizes.
One was so small it was nothing at all,
But the other was large and won prizes.

[desertrat62]

There once was a man from Peru
Who fell asleep in a canoe.
While dreaming of Venus,
He felt on his penis,
And woke with a handful of goo.

[i'va biggen]

Was a woman from Knorr
who fancied herself as a whore
she wouldn't suck dick
not even a lick
and turned out to be quite a bore

[Sweet N Little]

All over the bed we did roam
I swear from my mouth I did foam
I was just fit to pop
When we both had to stop
As a voice said "Hey honey, I'm home!!"

[bigk321]

There once was a girl who begat
three kids name Nat, Pat and Tat
It was fun in the breading
but hell in the feeding
when she found she had no tit for tat