The only real issues I've had with references/screening have been where 1) a guy that was stalking me via my gmail chat (insisted we'd seen each other and had a date and a place readily available and I know for a FACT that I've never EVER been at the hotel he said we'd met in) tried to use me as a reference in several other cities w/ several other providers. I gave them all a negative reference and made SURE they knew that I had never ever seen this man and that they'd be better off if they passed.
2) When asking for a reference I've been blindsided by the providers I contacted turning around and giving the potential client a "deal" to see them instead of me, thus losing me a potential client.
I've never had anyone calling me names or getting rude (at least via text or email since I rarely use my phone for actual CALLS), so I can't imagine what you were feeling at the time.
I think you probably handled the situation with a lot more tact than I likely would have. I have a tendency to get riled up to the point of starting a mini-texting-war with someone that slights me in such a way.
I applaud you for keeping a cool head.