Dear Santa

[urhuckleberry]

For my Arkansas fellow hobbyists:

http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=333067


Lil Huck made me do it!


Huck

[Guest061415-1]

Ooo... remember the photos of a "certain girl next door" in her elf costume?

[Howl at the Moon]

Well- not as good as the GND in an elf costume, but it did help me remember these notes to... and responses from Santa:
****************************** **********

Deer Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy allyeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy


Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I
send you a fucking book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving
your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace
and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love,
Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom,
who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get
you some nice Legos instead.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
Santa


Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for
your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when
riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of
scotch.
Santa

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend
most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself
silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at
the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE
PLEASE
could I have one?
Timmy

Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't
work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa


Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our house?
Love,
Marky

Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass
whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a
low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all
theburglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa

[Ginger Doll]

Originally Posted by Slingerland

Ooo... remember the photos of a "certain girl next door" in her elf costume?

Originally Posted by Howl at the Moon

Well- not as good as the GND in an elf costume...

Oh alright, alright....you guys are twisting my arm here. Hehe

[Guest061415-1]

Wow... I still LOVE those eyes! Ginger, I want to unwrap YOU under my tree!!!

[Tfields]

Dang!! I got a Santa suit today for the grandkids, but I think my wife would kill me if I had an elf that looked so good. Ginger, you are gorgeous.

[Ginger Doll]

Awwww. Thank's so much, you guys.

[Ginger Doll]

No sure why the other pic isn't showing up?

Had to dig a bit to find these GND pics...they were on my old computer!

[Guest061415-1]

Originally Posted by Ginger Doll

Had to dig a bit to find these GND pics...they were on my old computer!

I hope the other gentlemen don't consider me speaking out of turn, but I think it is safe to say that we all appreciate the effort you took in finding them!

[Mr.Chan]

If that does not straighten out your candy cane, nothing will.

[Guest061415-1]

Originally Posted by Mr.Chan

If that does not straighten out your candy cane, nothing will.

Our esteemed honorable detective now reminds me of the elegant Ginger's other thread of "Creative ways to burn those extra holiday calories." I wonder what exercises the lady would suggest that involve the use of such a candy cane?

[Guest032112]

Originally Posted by Slingerland

. . . I wonder what exercises the lady would suggest that involve the use of such a candy cane?

I would assume that a candy cane needs to be licked . . .

But that begs the question, are pole dancing and candy cane dancing related?