A girls first time <3

[BabyDallass]

As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.
He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.
He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he's done this many times before.
His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.
After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.
You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.
Naughty, Naughty!
Excuse me, What were you thinkin'?

A man and his son were talking about sex.
The son asked his father, "dad, what does a pussy look like?"
The dad asked him, "before or after sex?"
"Ummmm, before sex", the kid replied.
The dad said, "have you ever seen a beautiful red rose with soft red petals?"
"Yeah" said the son.
"Well, what about after sex?" said the son.
His dad replied, "have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise"!!!

[Howl at the Moon]

I am sure you can imagine
It's as simple as could be.
The place is France, the time is now,
the players, he and she.

"Will it hurt?" she whispers.
"Of course not" answers he.
"It's a very simple process.
Just rely on me."

"It's hurting a little bit" she cried,
as tears came to her eyes.
"It's hurting an awful lot now.
It must be quite a size."

And then a jerk, a scream, a shout.
He said, "It's all over.
She said"Thank God it's out."

Now you've listened very carefully.
He's a dentist you will find.
It's no what you were thinking.
It's just your dirty mind!

I think I first heard this one when I was about 16- from my girlfriend as I recall.

[Sweet N Little]

good ones!

online dating ....