A penetrating question?

[buzzworm86]

Next week I will be having my first experience with a well respected provider. I am very sexually inexperienced. Four, yes (4) experiences in my whole life. Two with providers one with women BFF's. Two weeks ago a BP prvider and I were together and noticed I was not really erect enough for penetration (CG style). But non-penetrative function was ok. I really only go to about 75%-80% which seems fine for non-pen. activities. But meeting with a great privider and never really having this kind of experience in 20 years I want it to go well.

I saw a Physician Assitant and she gave me 20mg of Cialis. I have tried it twice on some practice runs and it increased things to 95% and with straining and flexing to 100%. But the pill makes me feel like I have the flu.

The question to guys waht is your experience and providers waht have you seen?

So the question is can a male perform with a stiffness of 80%-95%?

I really need input, because the nerves will probably make things worse.

Also to take the pill or not?

Please help

[Jazzer]

If things are well lubricated, 80% can get 'er done. I've had some drunken trysts with ex GF's and some second (and third) round activities proceed at less than optimum, and with patience and a good attitude, everything always worked out fine.
I'd suggest choosing an experienced provider who can help you through these things.

[Guest102513-1]

Can't answer regarding pill

But don't let this thing mind-fuck you....relax and enjoy the experience as much as you can.

Since your seeing a well respected provider, relax and share with her your thoughts.
Nothing to be embarrass about, & provider will appreciate your openess.

And not to worry, let her do her magic...and yea you don't have to be 100% to get a good pop or two off. And don't be hesitate to help urself out by either having her or you get ya going with a HJ, this can help start the flow!

Lube can be a huge help...I personally like Wet Premium...that's stuff is both magical and everlasting

But main thing, don't over think it, open up to provider once the two of you are together (there's nothing you could say that's going to freak her out, related to this)

Remember 75% of this starts in the mind, enjoy the sight of her body...perhaps starting off with her wearing something naughty that you like(let her know b4 hand).

Enjoy some fun to dirty to nasty talk, enjoy the feel of her body, let her explore your body thru either massage or mouth

But the main thing is DON'T over think it!!!

[buzzworm86]

Thanks guys! She is experienced. I also have a two hour time with her. She is newbie friendly and in her mid 30s. If she is ok with a review, I'll post one latter next week. She has been very nice in replys to emails. I really appreciate the input.

[Guest102513-1]

Smart move on getting the 2 hour time...get in a comfortable/relax state physically, mentally and clothes wise(or lack of) right off the bat.

Have her dressed whatever ur version of hot is right off the bat

And then let things just gradually develop....HAVE A BALL!!!

[kcpumper]

I agree with vk. I'm turning 52 and miss the days I used to get as hard as an icicle in the Arctic Circle. Unfortunately I don't get to have as many meetings as I'd like and when I do I'm usually so nervous with anticipation and quivering inside I don't work like I'd like to. That's when it pays to visit a skilled provider that can help you relax and figure out what it takes to get the best out of you. So many of these girls get you signed up for an hour with the intent on getting you to wrap things up in 15 minutes and be on your way. Their attitude turns to shit if they're gonna have to work at it. I still have trouble relaxing when I meet a provider and really appreciate the ones that can recognize what she needs to do without detailed instructions and a totally annoyed facial expression. The good ones know how to work a 80% guy.

[Smoking Monkey]

I agree with kcplumper. If it's a provider I haven't seen before I do get nervous and many times don't function like I would like too. It helps when you've seen someone before and you're more comfortable with them.

ED Drugs definitely help bolster the confidence, but you're right, usually penetrative sex with a condom doesn't help maintain the strong erection.

It ultimately comes down to a mind over matter thing. If you don't think about your erection, things will usually work out for the best. If it doesn't (which has happened to me before), well then think of it that you've licked, sucked, manhandled, and whatever else to a beautiful woman and most guys would envy you just for that!

[Redwolf]

Regular cardio exercise and weights, drinking plenty of water, getting enough sleep, and eating healthy food, followed by foreplay with a hot, sensual woman can do wonders!

[jan-w]

If you're not intent on popping during intercourse, it would probably be to your benefit to climax with a BJ. I don't know how old you are or your general health but intercourse can be hard work and tiring to some men, especially after prolonged foreplay. Throw in some performance anxiety to boot and that could be a tough road to walk.

As an older man, I enjoy prolonged foreplay, a brief rest, then intercourse for awhile, another respite, then finishing with a BJ. I've found when I lay back and relax and let her do the work, I can concentrate totally on my own enjoyment and it's easier to climax.

Don't worry about pleasing her. Many men want to but always remember, it's your session. This is one time you should be completely selfish and make it all about you. That's not really a luxury you can have in civilian relationships but it's perfectly acceptable in paid dates.

[ez2plz]

It always helps to relax, and nothing makes you relax more than familiarity. Just have a good time this first meeting, don't stress out over penetration. If the fits seems right and you become a regular and get familiar with the provider, it will be a more natural experience on future meetings.

[Lovin50]

I'd also say be very open with her and and explain any worries before the date. Ask her to take the lead and keep it sensual, sexy and natural as a GFE should be. You WILL leave after a date with a great lady knowing what a GFE experiance really is. More erotic times, roll play adventures even some PSE dates will take a few visits I'd expect..
Also enjoying a nice relaxing shower with her if desired is a great way to get sexualy comfortable with a partner. Or if a great massage is more your thing to relax that is great as well.

[KCQuestor]

Advice columnist Dan Savage talks about the "Death Grip," where after years of becoming used to your own touch -- especially if you grip yourself tightly, and doubly especially if you do it without lube -- you are unable to ejaculate or even get erect when stimulated with different sensations.

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=14968
http://www.thecoast.ca/halifax/the-d...ent?oid=961527 (third question)

After years and years of masturbation, you get so used to the way you touch yourself that you can't come any other way. Seriously, humans are pretty good at patterns, and we learn really early on the best way to jerk-off. Guys who find that perfect combination of pressure, rhythm, and grip may train their body to only respond to that combination. ED drugs will help with the erection, but you won't be able to get off -- in fact that's a common side effect even when there aren't other issues.

Dan recommends that you switch it up. Not just your hand, but your grip, the amount and type of lube (you DO use lube, right?), and the amount of pressure. Try it with just your fingertips. One tip is to touch your thumb to your fingertip, which keeps you from being able to grip too tightly. Oh, and do it with a condom occasionally too. Get used to THAT.

Another factor may be porn-related. Most guys masturbate while watching porn. And while sex is *kinda* like porn, it isn't the same (even POV porn). If you become used to having that kind of visual stimulation and there isn't porn on in the room, you might not be able to get hard. Try masturbating without porn occasionally and see if that helps.

And if this happens when you are in a session with a provider, don't worry about it. Take the situation into your own hands and finish the job yourself. She's seen it all before, and just wants to make sure that you have a good time. Better that you get yourself off than to leave there frustrated.

[malwoody]

All of the advice is good and the fact that you have a
good attitude will help as well.

Relax and just let it happen

[dirty dog]

Whether you realize it or not you are putting a tremendous amount of pressure on yourself and you are becoming your own worst enemy. Your nervousness about having limited experience has manafested itself in a slight case of erectile dysfuction, because you have had a few difficulties obtaining a rock hard erection, you have put yourself in a position where everytime this happens you are putting more pressure on yourself which just worsens the cycle. My suggestion, find a provider you like, spend time getting comfortable and forget about intercourse. Allow her to work her magic with a combination of handjob and head until you climax, do this several times before you even try intercourse. You will find that the more comfortable and relaxed you become the stiffer your resolve will be. Let the provider know whats going on, a good one will walk you through things. After a couple of sessions let her know that when she feels the time is right to just climb about. Once you have overcome the initial obstical and relaxed you will find things will be smooth sailing from there.

[Bartman1963]

Are you taking any meds? Antidepressants can make it difficult to get an erection or difficult to achieve orgasm. Prozac is especially bad at making it difficult if not impossible to have an orgasm. See a urologist and make sure that there is nothing that might be causing difficulty with blood flow.
Lastly, just relax and have fun. Once you have chosen, and feel safe, just remember its about fun. Not your performance, not impressing her so she'll see you again, not getting her to like you, not anything except what you make it.

Now go have fun. Remember this: If God hadn't wanted us to enjoy sex...women would have sandpaper vaginas.