WTF is this?

[GP]

Today's Groupon? Is this a prostate massage?




Journey II Health LLC – Niagara Falls







The Fine Print

• Expires Feb 6, 2012
• Limit 1 per person, may buy 1 additional as a gift. Not valid for pregnant women or those that had major abdominal surgery within the last year.
• See the rules that apply to all deals.

Highlights

• Safe & nonabrasive therapy
• Exercises colon muscles
• Deep intestinal massage
• Experienced therapists

Your body is a temple, and it sometimes needs a good dusting of the ductwork to make especially devout microbes take their leave. Tend the temple and polish the pipes with today's Groupon: for $39, you get a colon-hydrotherapy session at Journey II Health LLC in Niagara Falls (a $75 value).
Journey's staff of seasoned specialists pilots guests to healthier lifestyles through safe colon-hydrotherapy sessions that cleanse the body's inner workings. Initial treatments begin with a brief examination of the patient's medical history, followed by a deep intestinal massage that prepares muscles for the procedure. A certified therapist then begins to gently flush the colon with filtered water at a comfortable temperature for 30–45 minutes while massaging specific pressure points to loosen toxic waste and de-clutter digestive carburetors. The procedure uses 20–35 gallons of the earth's elixir to liberate colons from impacted materials that cause adverse bodily effects, which may include impaired assimilation of vitamins and the inability to sneeze with your eyes open. Aside from jettisoning wasteful material, colon-hydrotherapy sessions can also decrease gas and bloating, exercise muscles for more efficient disposal, and reshape colons to look more like Rhode Island.

[Hardpiped03]

No....colon hydrotherapy (or colonic) is not a prostate massage. They circulate water via a tube through your colon.

Have you ever seen Jackass where Johnny Knoxville goes and gets a colonic?

[GP]

Never seen the movie.

then please explain this part:

followed by a deep intestinal massage that prepares muscles for the procedure.

[Guest120615-3]

"deep intestinal massage"
Refers to external massage over the abdominal area to loosen up the grit so to speak. Surprised though they are able to use the word "massage" in an ad. Usually a scope of practice and license issue.

[Jon Colden]

I think the best thing to do is try it and see what they do to you.

I'm concerned about the "certified" therapist. Who certifies people to shove a tube up your colon and start flooding it with "filtered" water? Hell, if you're going to do that with the water, why even "filter" it first?

30-45 must seem like an eternity.

[Jon Colden]

The only part I DO understand is the part about Rhode Island.

[GP]

My avatar seems very appropriate for this thread.

[brutusbluto]

lol, a toilet post may also be appropriate as well

[Kittens_Inc]

fuck that fill it with vodka and see just how drunk you can get by absorbing it through your ass lolz!!!

Originally Posted by Jon Colden

I think the best thing to do is try it and see what they do to you.

I'm concerned about the "certified" therapist. Who certifies people to shove a tube up your colon and start flooding it with "filtered" water? Hell, if you're going to do that with the water, why even "filter" it first?

30-45 must seem like an eternity.

[brutusbluto]

Originally Posted by Kittens_Inc

fuck that fill it with vodka and see just how drunk you can get by absorbing it through your ass lolz!!!

This would make an interesting Manswers episode!

[guest111111]

Look up the darwin awards...




Do you really want to know about The Enema Within?
(21 May 2004, Texas) Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor, well, rectally. His wife said he was "addicted to enemas" and often used alcohol in this manner. The result was the same: inebriation.

The machine shop owner couldn't imbibe alcohol by mouth due to a painful throat ailment, so he elected to receive his favourite beverage via enema. And tonight, Michael was in for one hell of a party. Two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address!

When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. The next morning, Michael was dead.

The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself. According to toxicology reports, his blood alcohol level was 0.47%.

In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment." Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. Unsurprisingly, his neighbors said they were surprised to learn of the incident.

Wide-ranging Slashdot Discussion in which we learn that alcohol enemas are all around us! Apparently the alcohol absorbs more quickly through the capillary beds of the rectum, a fact exploited by many party animals."

MEDIA REFERENCES