Where's the love?

[VictoriaLyn]

Originally Posted by Ebony Jasmine Love Austin

How can someone make you feel less attractive because he prefers another? You were not made to feel less attractive. You decided to feel less attractive. What about all the guys that think you are attractive? Don't they come into the equation, somewhere?

Does Wendy's feel subpar because some people choose to go to Mc Donald's? No. However, Wendy's will build a restaurant right next to Mc Donald's and give people the option of liking them just as much. And if some still prefer Mc Donald's, Wendy's might send out an incentive to try them (free frosty with a large fry. Mc Donald's doesn't have frostys!)

You will never catch Wendy's putting out a commercial saying "We at Wendy's feel undesirable because everyone likes Mc Donald's. No one wants to eat here. BoooooHOOOOO!"

That would just be a waste of time, energy, and money; most of all, whats left of their reputation.
!

I totally agree with that..

[Ebony Jasmine Love Austin]

Originally Posted by Carl

I'd eat that every day, all day long, if I could.

I'm not talking about the horse.

A little birdie told me he was really good at it too.

[Smokin Joe]

Originally Posted by !!Layla Angelique!!

my skin is definitely an asset

Most definitely!

[Majichands]

Well I luv dark and lovelys in my personal life and they are the best

[Carl]

Originally Posted by Ebony Jasmine Love Austin

A little birdie told me he was really good at it too.

Used to be. I'd be pretty rusty these days. Probably go at it like I was painting a fence.

[Fsn57]

Originally Posted by Ebony Jasmine Love Austin

Sorry to change the subject (it's a little stuffy in here anyway. good, but stuffy)... this picture is absolutelystunning. Wow!

The colors, the pose, the body, that orgasmic arch of the back, the setting, the horizontal composition, the implicit nature of her leg adjacent to the horses leg, the one foot in the water.... all involved in this photo (even that patient majestic horse) are geniuses. I want it as a painting on my wall. Just lovely.

Thanks for such a beautiful sight.

Jasmine,
When I first saw that photo in Layla's gallery, my first comment to her was this artwork should be framed. Everything in that shot works to accentuate the natural beauty of the subject and surroundings.

Fsn57

[!!Layla Angelique!!]

You are correct, Jasmine. My mother always said, "No one can hurt your feelings unless you give them the power to." I should have chosen my words more carefully. I feel like the society could have made me feel less attractive, and has had that effect on many of us women of darker complexions, but thankfully I have never succumbed to that or felt defeated by mainstream standards of beauty.

With my comment I was speaking for the girls I grew up with who used skin bleaching creams or would say things like, "If only I was light-skinned, guys would like me." Knowing that some black women still go through that today really pains me. I wish I could tell them that just because your beauty is not widely applauded or recognized, doesn't mean it's not just as true.

We are responsible for our own happiness but with the increasing influence of media on teenage girls it takes even more strength today to stay confident. I have a younger sister and nieces so have seen this generation's struggle first hand. For this reason one of my passions is to try to impart what I have learned about self-esteem to young girls through mentorship programs like Best Buddies.

BTW-Thanks for all the wonderful compliments You guys have no idea how hard it was to get that shot

Originally Posted by Ebony Jasmine Love Austin

Ok am I the only one that sees this stereotype is being perpetuated by the black woman more than anyone else. Lets take a look at this statement. If we take out the meat of it you are pretty much left with nothing of substance.

[E2]

Account initiated - 7/2/2011

Question asked about pic upload - 7/2/2011

Ad placed - 7/5/2011
- numerous welcomes and a few TS questions that went unanswered.

Only post to a thread other than her own was to welcome a new TS.

"Where's the love" post - 7/23/2011

Yeah, I think that race is the only reason you are getting no play !!

[lisa.lisa0302]

WOW!!!!

I don't care what race she is, that chick is hot!!!!!!!!!!!!

And that is how you do it, the presentation, maybe a guy who prefers white providers, would have saw the pic below and possibility became curious and wanted to set an appt.

Originally Posted by Fsn57

I agree with what's been said about it being a preference for a particular flavor, chocolate vs vanilla, and not so much racism. Unfortunately that word, racism, gets used far to often and in many cases where there is no racism at play at all.

My preferences tend to be for white girls, blondes mostly. However, I think one of the most attractive women I've ever seen on eccie is Layla. I think Layla was right when she said not only her skin color, but her ethnic physique really works for her. Who doesn't get excited by this:


Attachment 67977

[Hollywooddoesitall]

I have found that the majority of guys who like black girls, really like us! But there are guys that like lots of variety and we being a part of that variety. Being a black girl makes me feel more passionate and "freaky" in the bedroom. Not to say other nationalities aren't just as or more freaky but I like to use it to my advantage. And believe me, I can get real freaky.

I was talking to a provider friend of mine and we were comparing menu's. I do offer a lot more and she said "that's because black girls are freakier". I agreed

Don't let anyone get you down girl. How you see yourself in your mind is how you project yourself to others. Feel good about your self and it will show.

[Rand Al'Thor]

Originally Posted by Ebony Jasmine Love Austin

I see what you are saying Java. I am sensitive to peoples emotional scars from growing up. I have some. But wouldn't you say the "growing" process in growing up, is learning to do everything possible to overcome these emotional scars; so they don't hinder you in the future? Making statements like the OP is just like picking a scab that has almost healed.

As for the burger metaphor, I'm not saying she has to make a better burger (change her dark skin). All I'm saying is try to make the kind of burger you supply more desirable. It all starts with how one thinks about him/herself; which is projected onto others around them. Also, realize that It's ok for people to not want your burger. That doesn't make one this or that; until they unknowingly give a stereotype power.

Stereotypes is defined as : a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing.
Oversimplified meaning, a distorted impression of it is given. Meaning the assumption/stereotype is not completely true. So how can a stereotype still be widely held and fixed you might ask? IMHO because the people who are being stereotyped perpetuate it. They it as a crutch to justify why not everyone likes them (what world is that?).

I know not everyone is going to like me. I learned that on the playground. I've had a long time to come to terms with that.

*shrug*


If someone doesn't want you because of preference, so be it. You can't force someone to like you, but the power of suggestion works wonders. I believe suggesting then proving there is a demand for your time and companionship (reviews, rapport with members) would provide a more promising outcome.

If someone doesn't want you because they are a racist, well, since its 2011 I assume they are the ones that have to deal with the difficult image. Let it be their downfall not yours.

I hope this helps understand my perspective. Peace out!

You and I have had differences of opinion a few times in the past, but your posts in this thread are outstanding. You attitude of self-reliance and responsibility over one’s own actions instead of others’ will do more toward ending racism than any activist fighting for the cause.