Deconstructing Hobby Chemistry

[HugginMan]

Hey everybody,

There was an interesting convo on chat this morning about what attracts hobbyists to providers. There seemed to be a lot of disagreement on exactly how the various factors work out from guy to guy, but it seems like these were the main ones:

Looks - mostly body type and face
Money - how much she thinks her time is worth
Services - what she does and how good she is at it
Personality - too big to define like 1 thru 3, but things like sense of humor, intelligence, interests, etc
Age - seems to intersect heavily with looks and personality, but still its own factor

One guy was trying to make the point that the numbers don't lie, and so if you consider who is getting the most appointments it shows that the chemical reaction for most hobbyists starts with looks. Will you really spend much time looking at a showcase and reviews if you don't like what you see?

It could be argued that money is second since most of us don't have large sums of disposable income, yet it seems most of us have a range that flexes with the other factors in play. If you have more money at your disposal, maybe service or personality might even jump to #2. Yet personality is very hard to get a handle on unless you spend time communicating with someone before any appointment is ever made. That's easier with some providers, but not even a possibility with others.

While some might argue for a different order in their own cases, I have to agree that the numbers don't lie. And while I am tempted to be seen as the nicest hobbyist on the planet, and so might want to deny that the general rule applies to me too, I have to admit that it does apply to me. However, personality is so important to me that it has a lot of power to bend and stretch the other factors. Even so, a big beautiful woman is not my type. I am not going to spend my money for her time. I know plenty of bbws that I would take to dinner and a movie in a heartbeat, would enjoy discussing deep topics with, or would trust with my darkest secrets. But I am not going to spend my hobby money on them.

I'm really sorry if that's painful for some to read, especially those I consider chat friends and would like to know better. Today I realized in chat that some providers feel like the kid in school that most others wanted to be sweet to and be friends with, but not date. A lot of us hobbyists remember that feeling. I do. And what I remember is that it was a lot more frustrating and disappointing to be led on than to simply be told the truth.

Something I find interesting about this dynamic is the game of hobbyists and providers building up illusions for each other. For example, I wonder if the providers want the illusion of being sexually attractive and desirable as badly as a lot of hobbyists might think they do. Or are we just fooling ourselves in not realizing that most of them see right through the BS we don't even see in ourselves? If that's the case, then, despite our desire to be nice and kind, isn't it really insulting to providers when we pretend we're sexually attracted and willing to do business with them? I'm not talking about playful flirting, but something more misleading than that. And, to be fair, the game works both ways.

I'm not trying to stir up any shit here, or insist that anyone see things differently than they do. Let's all be nice - honestly nice, or nicely honest, or something like that. I'm just interested in how people experience these things from their own perspectives, so feel free to chime in. Some might say I over-think things , and that's true to some extent, but this kind of stuff just fascinates me.

[TexasStarr]

HugginMan,

I totally respect you and appreciate your HONESTY! That discussion in chat was really deep and was a call out to a lot of the guys I think. It shows how much they can't even be honest with themselves, muchless the providers.

I as well made a post about this mornings rant in chat, but I didn't go into as much detail as you did.

http://eccie.net/showthread.php?t=246560

[HugginMan]

Thanks for the comment, Starr. If I had seen your post first, I might have just made this a comment there. :P To some extent, dishonesty is just part of the hobby, and maybe even human nature, but it doesn't have to be all the time, everywhere, with everyone.

[AmericanGeisha]

I would say services , personality , would be the top of my list if I was looking for a provider .Although age + looks count + prob get 1st attention , but a super hottie who sucks and has no personality may not be so fun !! So I guess in the end it's the whole package .

[Nicolet]

I am as honest about myself as I can be, from my age, to my size, to my gray hair! I have found that the gentlemen who contact me have read my posts and my reviews and I guess I'm pretty easy on the eyes, because they compliment me on my openness and honesty and my look. There are times when I read something that gets my blood boiling, but I bite my tongue and try to find something nice to say, or just stay silent. I yam what I yam and thats all that I yam!

[offshoredrilling]

Looks is not the most important thing on my list to see a provider for the first time or repeat. But if she does not have a look to my eyes that my mine thinks yes I would. Then any factors more important or less important never get looked in to. And therefor I may never met.

However I have keep seeing a few after the looks have faded to my eye.

And any I met that did not have a look in the first place to my eyes. But met anyways from reviews, word of mouth, or from her posts and or pm's are few.

A few many that have a hot dam I want it, to my eyes. Never where tried or not repeated do to other factors. And where looked into or met faster do to the looks.

So looks are a factor, even if some think that is shallow and will not come clean even in there own mind its a fact.

[hobbyprojb]

The experience in the hobby for me is getting a chance to have incredible expereinces with the women I have always dreamed about. It never gets old & each year I always look forward to meeting more talented ladies coming into the business.

[tennisbum]

I cannot differentiate between civilians and providers when it comes to preference of "what turns me on". There was a time in my life that when it took very little to turn me on, except for weight........I have never thought an overweight woman/girl was sexy. As my chronological age has progressed over the last 7 plus decades and my sexually potent age over the past 6 decades and my abilities have digressed at the same approximate rate, I find it takes a certain initial physical look to get me going. Age is not as important as her physical attributes which must entail the following: petite, flat tummy, small waist, tan/smooth skin and brunette (as I read over my list I see I could have just said Asian or Latin spinners). After the initial attraction and things to find out later: natural or trimmed below, size of breasts not important, but must have erect nipples and excellent hygeine. Non visual attributes: Likes to kiss, sense of humor, loves receiving DATY, orgasmic (preferrably multiples), like to cuddle afterwards and open minded.

And yes..........you are correct, my standards have cost me a lot of pussy over the decades.

[googol^googol]

Interesting discussion, Huggin. It does push a guy to take an honest look at his true priorities.

I think looks are the initial filter. If the looks don't work, the rest never comes in to play. Defining exactly what looks don't work is kinda like obscenity; I have trouble describing it but I know it when I see it.
Once the looks requirement has been met, I would put looks as a low priority for repeat visits.

Money isn't so much a priority as a restriction. As with any other budget item, what you can afford determines the general range you can shop in. But, if the things that matter are better, three visits at $240 can be better than four visits at $180. Or, it could go the other way. Depends on the difference in the things that matter.

The things that matter are personality and quality of services, with personality about 60% and quality 40%. Though they tend to overlap. Enthusiastic, self-confident, relaxed, adventursome, kind, patient, doesn't take themselves too seriously. Those things matter both in bed and out.

Age is not a significant factor. I've always liked the 35-50 range (I was MILF when MILF wasn't cool.) And personality is more likely to click the closer they are to that range. But anything 18 to 80 is a possibility. Though at the extreme edges of that range it would take something special to lure me in.

Personality is significant enough to overrule looks to some extent. Again, looks are a filter and that filter can be shifted by personality. There are a couple women on this board whom I wouldn't be attracted to from just their photos. Not turned off, just not turned on. But the personality that comes though in their posts makes them someone I'd like to spend time with.

[Still Looking]

There is a reason pictures are doctored and Out dated pictures are used. Cloths or lack of them are be strategically placed in show case pictures. Its pretty simple really! MEN like what they see! If we don't like what we see, we move on. Don't think woman don't realize this. Woman are not trying to look young or prettier for themselves, they do it for others. How many guys out there 30-60 who see a "HOT" chick say to them selves... man I'd like to hit that! Pretty much all of US! The gals realize this so that’s what they try to give us.

Same goes for us guys! The minutes gals want to fuck and have their way with a bald, over weight, I need a blue pill to get er done wrinkly old ass guys, you'll see a mass exodus of the hobby world. I heard a few men in the hobby world are married and want extra curricular activities and that’s why they are here. In the real world they are GQ guys that just can't afford to have their wives find out! What ever! The majority of us guys are here because we are getting what we have NO business getting because we have a few extra bucks. And the gals are more than happy to accommodate that situation because they WANT or NEED the MONEY!

Getting a guy to want to see you LOOKS #1. Getting a guy to keep coming back takes more than just looks!

[Eccie Addict]

For me the looks part gets me to turn my head in their direction. It takes more to seal the deal. The only times I've seen a provider based on looks alone is if their is no access to her personality, be it thru here or meeting somewhere....

[Cpalmson]

I'll be honest here because I actually have to be honest with myself. I'm shallow. Looks are the #1 factor for me. The only reason I hobby is to be with hot women that I wouldn't stand a chance with in the civie world. For a time, I tried to fool myself with the old come on that attitude, chemistry and even price were a factor. Because of this, I drifted more towards seeing providers I normally wouldn't see. Nothing against these providers. They are all wonderful in their own unique ways, but they ended up not being my type. In the end, I felt like I cheated myself by not seeing my type. Granted services, price, etc are an important factor; I feel the need to be true to what I want in a provider.

[Still Looking]

Originally Posted by Cpalmson

I'll be honest here because I actually have to be honest with myself. I'm shallow. Looks are the #1 factor for me. The only reason I hobby is to be with hot women that I wouldn't stand a chance with in the civie world. For a time, I tried to fool myself with the old come on that attitude, chemistry and even price were a factor. Because of this, I drifted more towards seeing providers I normally wouldn't see. Nothing against these providers. They are all wonderful in their own unique ways, but they ended up not being my type. In the end, I felt like I cheated myself by not seeing my type. Granted services, price, etc are an important factor; I feel the need to be true to what I want in a provider.

Your NOT being HONEST, you’re being normal! I mean dam, when is the last time some one was looking for a butt ugly girl? (EA disclaimer: There are a few guys that might like butt ugly chicks! Nothing is 100%) I bet there might be a few guys out there that when they get a body rub, they like their nuts hit with a ball-peen hammer! But I'm pretty certain it’s not the rule!

[Eccie Addict]

LOL!! Come on I wasn't gonna say anything...

[Still Looking]

Originally Posted by Eccie Addict

LOL!! Come on I wasn't gonna say anything...

Coving my bases! I don't just respect you... but I pay attention and listen as well!