Abbott and Costello computers

[guest041110]

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott & Costello and too old to REALLY understand computers in order to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on. If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out like this:

Costtello calls to buy a computer from Abbott – rrrrinnnggg, rrrriiiinnnng….

Abbott: Super Duper Computer store. Can I help you?
Costello: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
Abbott: Mac?
Costello: No, the name's Lou.
Abbott: Your computer?
Costello: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
Abbott: Mac?
Costello: I told you, my name's Lou.
Abbott: What about Windows?
Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
Abbott: Do you want a computer with Windows?
Costello: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
Abbott: Wallpaper
Costello: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
Abbott: Software for Windows?
Costello: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
Abbott: Office
Costello: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
Abbott: I just did.
Costello: You just did what?
Abbott: Recommend something,
Costello: You recommended something?
Abbott: Yes
Costello: For my office?
Abbott: Yes
Costello: O.K., what did you recommend for my office?
Abbott: Office
Costello: Yes, for my office!
Abbott: I recommended Office with Windows.
Costello: I already have an office with windows! O.K., let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
Abbott: Word
Costello: What word?
Abbott: Word in Office.
Costello: The only word in office is office.
Abbott: Which Word in office for Windows.
Costello: Which word in office for windows?
Abbott: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."
Costello: I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
Abbott: Money
Costello: That's right. What do you have?
Abbott: Money
Costello: I need money to track my money?
Abbott: It comes bundled with your computer.
Costello: What's bundled with my computer.
Abbott: Money
Costello: Money comes with my computer?
Abbott: Yes. No extra charge.
Costello: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
Abbott: One copy
Costello: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
Abbott: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
Costello: They can give you a license to copy money?
Abbott:Why not? They own it!

( A few days later.)

Abbott: Super Duper Computer store. How can I help you?
Costello: How do I turn my computer off?
Abbott: Click on "Start."

[RealBeer285]

Good one, I haven't seen this remake before.

I am old enough to remember Abbott and Costello and my first computer was a Z80 running MP/M.

[charlestudor2005]

One of the best routines I've ever read. Just saw the original Who's on First the other day in B&W. I'd forgotten how funny it was.

[Doc69]

Great modernization of a true classic!