EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES

[Marshall]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

I`ve wittnessed several women getting in touch with single but conservative (haha Marshall, no liberals) clients

Did they meet MY definition of "conservative" or YOURS?

[Marshall]

Originally Posted by Naomi4u

deleted.

Hey...I read it before the delete.....you should have left it, it was on point....



Seems to me that any guy who schedules more than 4 hours of time has a 99% chance of being an emotional vampire......

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by Marshall

Hey...I read it before the delete.....you should have left it, it was on point....

Kinda thought it was TMI! The guy lurks on the forum as well.. didn't want to make him feel bad.

[Marshall]

Originally Posted by Naomi4u

Kinda thought it was TMI! The guy lurks on the forum as well.. didn't want to make him feel bad.

He needs to feel bad.......

[incognito isis]

I used to feel the clingy fellas were all the single ones. But looking back in time, I have had many married clients who were clingy. It all depends on the individual persons frame of mind. Some men are married but feel very alone. Some single men are lonely because they don't have a SO. Last year a married client developed feelings for me. We no longer meet because of that. This year a new married client is falling for me. I ponder why they fall for me when they have wives at home. I've come to the conclusion it's not me they are in love with, but the illusion of being happy. I make them happy for a small amount of time in their unhappy lives. They go home and continue to feel unfulfilled. So they cling to that happiness I'm able to give to them. It's quite sad that this is the reality of many marriages. So I would say it's 50/50. Some clingy fellas are married, some are single.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by Marshall

Are you aware of any ladies that use it against them to milk them for money?

way too demanding... All this attention, dear lord....

But i know women who date these guys who have a special psyche too, these are those who define themselves over their attractiveness for men. Which means their self esteem is defined by males attention and attriubutes.
Its a two way ego boost road.
Woman with low self esteem (possibly being an attention seeker) finds man with an overload of emotional needs and gets her freak on by his attention.

You can easily identify these people by placing on how " special" and different they think they are from the ordinary crowd . Its a "low self esteem" ego boost.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by incognito isis

I ponder why they fall for me when they have wives at home. I've come to the conclusion it's not me they are in love with, but the illusion of being happy. I make them happy for a small amount of time in their unhappy lives. .

They fall in love with you because love is not limited. Many people are capable of loving more than one person. The married guys i know love their wives and their mistresses too. Its different forms of love.
Many of them are at the same time profoundly incapable of changing their lives for the better . If you live in a lie for too long, the lie begins to become the only truth you can actually live in and with. And they need mistresses for making their marriages work. Its like "outsourcing" some needs.
This is nothing new,
its known since centuries that good marriages work with the help of mistresses at least in patriarchy.
I rather charge money for it then doing it for free and not getting any recognition at all. That is ony fair.

Problem begins when you start dating such people outside the boarders of an escort client relationship. Single or married does not matter.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by incognito isis

So I would say it's 50/50. Some clingy fellas are married, some are single.

you are right, i`d say that too. the question is what is more problematic? Clingy married guys or clingy single guys? For me the single ones are more problematic in the general sense because they have no one at home to limit their moves :-))

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by Marshall

Did they meet MY definition of "conservative" or YOURS?

since YOU are on this board as well, i assume the usual conservative hypocrisy :-)) measurement. Hiring escorts but having a problem with them :-) ha ha ha

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by Marshall

Seems to me that any guy who schedules more than 4 hours of time has a 99% chance of being an emotional vampire......

Most definetely not. Most of my dates were multi-hours and I really did enjoy them. I enjoy men that KNOW what they are getting into. Men that realized that I was an escort and understood the NSA aspect of all of this.

I deleted my initial comments but I will repost...

I will have to admit the first time I was booked for a multi-day engagement I did not understand why someone would want to spend that much time with me. However, I enjoyed it.. as in REALLY enjoyed it. I loved the whole experience. The second time was WITH the same guy and it was then that I started to notice that multi-day engagements were not for me. I was emotionally drained by this man. He demanded wayy too much from me. He wanted love again and wanted to marry (after meeting once before/emails and phone calls lol) which was something I could not give him. He wanted to control my every move during our time together. I could not turn away from him for a minute or he would throw a fit. I could not look at the tv for a second. Keep in mind that this was 4 clock free dates in a row and not a one hour appointment

As I posted before, while we were together he would let himself into my hotel room. I woke up one morning and he was standing before me. He asked the front desk for a key and they gave it to him. This happened twice and like a good little provider I did not complain. I felt the need to cater to his fantasy/experience/whatever the hell it was he thought we had together. All this while I felt smothered and violated. I even called a provider friend of mine to talk to her because about the situation because it felt like I was in a prison almost.

Marshall, before this man I had lots of clock-free dates and they all went very well. I enjoyed longer dates. I enjoyed my time as a provider but this particular situation was VERY uncomfortable for me. When it was time for us to part ways, I was ecstatic. I was so happy to go home and lay on my bed. This man made all of his problems mine ...I wanted to cry. It was like he blamed me for his marriage failing. He would say things like "This is all your fault" whatever that meant. It got to a point where I didn't want the money anymore. There was no amount of money he could have paid me to see him again. After the horrid 4 days together, he wanted to spend another week week me a month later and I told him "NO".

[WTF]

Personally, I think we all can be clingy at times. Last one to fall out of love is the clingy one.

That said I think my man Marshall was talking about the serial Vamps. From my perspective in this business I have seen the narcissi exploit the Histrionic.

That would be like paper covering rock...the N. PersonalityDisorder covers the HPD ever single time. Though they both lose, the HPD catches it on the chin every single time, the NPD just moves to another victim. Sad really.

[Bella_HHD]

Originally Posted by Marshall

I really was interested in a piece of a conversation on another thread about emotionally needy clients and the problems they cause. One lady said they tended to be single men and another lady said they tended to be married men. I personally believe that emotionally needy clients tend to be liberals, but......anyway, I was interested in hearing views......

I use the term "emotional vampires" a LOT to describe people in my real life.

MY "emotional vampires" are those people that can suck every bit of joy out of you in no time at all, replacing it with their own brand of "yuck" - "poor me" or "the world is out to get me" or "I can't catch a break", ad nauseum until you want to slit your own damn throat because they've sucked you into their mind-frame.

Don't get me wrong, everybody gets down in the dumps once in a while, but Jesus, Mary & Joseph! - enough is enough! EVERYBODY can find something to be happy about in their lives if they just TRY.

Right now I am keeping distance from a close family member for that very reason. I "broke up" with a close female friend of many years for that reason.

A smile or a happy attitude, brandished the right way, is a stake in the heart to those kinds of emotional vampires.

[Marshall]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

since YOU are on this board as well, i assume the usual conservative hypocrisy :-)) measurement. Hiring escorts but having a problem with them :-) ha ha ha

I wasn't aware I had a problem with escorts. I don't believe you know what I mean when I use the term "conservative".....Please, tell me what you think I mean by "conservative" and tell me what my problem is with escorts.....I might be mistaken when I think you assume too much......

PS: when you do the hahaha, it's more effective when you use capital letters and exclamation points. People are just too lazy these days to give things that extra touch.......

[incognito isis]

Originally Posted by Naomi4u

Most definetely not. Most of my dates were multi-hours and I really did enjoy them. I enjoy men that KNOW what they are getting into. Men that realized that I was an escort and understood the NSA aspect of all of this.

I deleted my initial comments but I will repost...

I will have to admit the first time I was booked for a multi-day engagement I did not understand why someone would want to spend that much time with me. However, I enjoyed it.. as in REALLY enjoyed it. I loved the whole experience. The second time was WITH the same guy and it was then that I started to notice that multi-day engagements were not for me. I was emotionally drained by this man. He demanded wayy too much from me. He wanted love again and wanted to marry (after meeting once before/emails and phone calls lol) which was something I could not give him. He wanted to control my every move during our time together. I could not turn away from him for a minute or he would throw a fit. I could not look at the tv for a second. Keep in mind that this was 4 clock free dates in a row and not a one hour appointment

As I posted before, while we were together he would let himself into my hotel room. I woke up one morning and he was standing before me. He asked the front desk for a key and they gave it to him. This happened twice and like a good little provider I did not complain. I felt the need to cater to his fantasy/experience/whatever the hell it was he thought we had together. All this while I felt smothered and violated. I even called a provider friend of mine to talk to her because about the situation because it felt like I was in a prison almost.

Marshall, before this man I had lots of clock-free dates and they all went very well. I enjoyed longer dates. I enjoyed my time as a provider but this particular situation was VERY uncomfortable for me. When it was time for us to part ways, I was ecstatic. I was so happy to go home and lay on my bed. This man made all of his problems mine ...I wanted to cry. It was like he blamed me for his marriage failing. He would say things like "This is all your fault" whatever that meant. It got to a point where I didn't want the money anymore. There was no amount of money he could have paid me to see him again. After the horrid 4 days together, he wanted to spend another week week me a month later and I told him "NO".

OMG girl, thats horrible! I've felt emotionally drained by clients also. I think when you have no chemistry with someone and having to act like you like them, that is draining. I can only imagine how horrible it was for you having to spend days with someone so needy. You earned every PENNY of that date!

Originally Posted by ninasastri

you are right, i`d say that too. the question is what is more problematic? Clingy married guys or clingy single guys? For me the single ones are more problematic in the general sense because they have no one at home to limit their moves :-))

Nina, we both agree that it's 50/50. Single guys get clingy just as much as married ones. To answer your question, in my opinion, I would have to say the single men are definitely more problematic because they have more time on their hands, then the married men. If you tell a married man to leave you alone, he has the distraction of his marriage/wife. If you tell a single man to leave you alone, they don't have such a distraction. Theres only YOU to them. So single men are definitely more problematic in my experience.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by incognito isis

OMG girl, thats horrible! I've felt emotionally drained by clients also. I think when you have no chemistry with someone and having to act like you like them, that is draining. I can only imagine how horrible it was for you having to spend days with someone so needy. You earned every PENNY of that date!

Totally!!

I felt like he should have paid me more to put up with that BS even!