The Hobby or The Chase?

[Tony Patella]

Every once in a while, someone asks the question why a single guy would hobby. So with a bit too much time on my hands one day, I started to do a post mortem (sorry funeral man!) on a recent trolling excursion. This is a clear example, by the way, of why a single guy would hobby!

The Cliff Notes Version: The chase is costly, time consuming and there's no guaranteed outcome. The hobby is costly, and a sure thing. I'll take a sure thing every time! For those who care, read on...

Back Story: Business trip, So Cal, Amex in full swing. Head for a late dinner at a local spot frequented by the 25 to 50 crowd, not really looking for anything other than a quick bite and some people watching. This joint has good food, a fun environment, it’s upscale, and typically a well populated target rich spot.

The Drama of It All: Sit down at the bar to order some food and a cold one, because the bar tender is smoking hot. (Might as well have some eye candy while I’m eating.) Minding my own business, chatting up the bar tender, watching the Lakers on the tube, and two early 40’s MILFs ask, “Are these spots taken?” “They’re all yours,” I reply as they slide into the two stools next to me. Hmmm…

So I decide to flirt and do a little experimenting. (The tattoo “I Am Lust” on one of ladies piqued my curiosity…) Turns out, these two are out celebrating a final divorce settlement. Warning sign #1 was the claim “I’m rich now! I got the bastard for $20,000!" (Yes, she said twenty thousand dollars.) They were well spoken, attractive and nice enough so I decided to press on regardless of the comment.

Fast Forward: Buying sign #1 was the offer to see her pierced nipples that were done the day she served the papers. I take a quick peak, nice breasts, and love piercings so I’m back in the game at this point. Things are touchy feely at the bar, everyone is happy, some talk about a grudge f**k to seal the final divorce deal (Buying sign #2) and I’m feeling pretty good. “One more drink for the road,” she says. I’ve been drinking water for the last 90 minutes, so no big deal. Order up a round for her and the GF, but it's starting to get late.

The Negotiations: By now well after it’s Midnight, I have a 6:30 AM production meeting, and its “play me or trade me time.” Start the maneuvering, and she’s ready to roll. Only problem is the GF is too cocked to drive! Ugh. “Ok, let’s get her a cab?” “Oh no, I can’t do that” she says. So my reply is "Lets bring her back to your place." “Gee, no, I’d feel uncomfortable with her in the next room. Besides, if she gets sick it will be distracting for us.” Ok, so I’m still game at this point. “What do you suggest,” I ask? Turns out she wants me to drive the GF home, some 40 minutes away, and then head back to her place for a romp. 80 minutes round trip if all goes smoothly. Hello, McFly? It’s now 1 AM. I have a job, do you?

The Conclusion: Yep, I declined to drive the GF home. And Miss “I Am Lust” was amazed! Guess either my game isn’t that good, I’m not desperate enough or I just picked the wrong prospect. 15 years ago, I would have stayed out all night just to get some. Not interested in that folly any more, and my commitment to the people I work with is important. So in summary: my dinner, my drinks, food for the two of them, her drinks, her girlfriends drinks, tip for the bartender, total about $150 plus 5 hours invested. Not bad, matter of fact no big deal since it was on the corporate card. But, I had to play the game, invest the hours of time with an uncertain outcome, and ended up back at my hotel with Rosie Di Palma.

In spite of a fun night, this is what reaffirms my belief in the hobby Lot to be said for a sure thing!

[Indefinable Ms. M]

You know it works the same way for some of us women also. We put up with guys hitting on us, not buying our drinks then expecting us to go home with them. And if we do 99% of the time they are a lousy f**k. The guys in the hobby at least the ones I have dealt with care about us and our O's. I could elaborate more about bf's of providers but not gonna touch that one with a ten foot pole.

[redhed]

Tony, thats a story I have lived out many of times. I know what ya feeling.

[hobbyist]

Excellent points Tony, spoken like an experienced single guy who has walked the walk, as I have for my entire life.
　
A corollary to your right-on observations is that the "single guy chase" scene is great if you are a studly young hunk in the 20 - 30 age range. Unfortunately many single guys out there these day are NOT... for exampe I'm about 25 years past that territory.

I guess this will make me come across as real shallow, but its the truth, so... so be it.

I'm sorry, but I just don't find the vast majority of 50 - 60 year old women attractive and sexy. Yes - there are a few to be found there (after a LOT of looking) - but they are vary scarce when you get up in that age range. Therefore, given a choice I would far rather go for the "sure thing" of spending a few bucks to snag some time with a woman who's going to be much younger and sexier, as well as an uninhibited and expert dynamo in bed.

Why waste my time chasing after some woman I don't really even want to be with?

[Lana Warren]

Tony,
Just chase me.....I promise not to run too fast!

[TheWanderer]

Well written analysis Tony. You did the right thing. I also cannot forfeit my career for a late...late...late night bang session with a 40 something MILF.
Don't get me wrong here...nothing against 40 something MILFs. They are sexual animals....they can hurt you and leave you with bruises and sore hip and back muscles. God love 'em.
But who can stay out all night, driving around a town you are visiting when work is calling early? With my job, I have to show up sharp and on the ball.

When I was in my early 20's I once stayed up ALL NIGHT chasing and finally landing a nice hotty.
The sun started coming up and I left after having a cup of coffee with her....went back to work in the same clothes I had left in....no shower....no nothing. Had some gum....lol
My buddies at work told me I smelled like beer, cigarettes, perfume and pussy.

God, those were the days...

[pyramider]

Been there and done that. One out of four times I got a little action. The other three times the calls to the porcelain god or somebody sobering up killed the adventure. Since I seem to be a slow learning, four times, I no longer engage in those adventures.

[Captain Caveman]

Not sure if this fits with the theme or not...

I am a single man, never married who hardly ever goes on a date. Dating is such a pain in the ass. I am not the studly young hunk in the 20-30 age range... nope, I am in my 40s and overweight.

Last weekend I was at the race track and a friend was ripping on me. "You just need to get laid," he said. "How long has it been?"

"It's been a while." It was a safe answer. For obvious reasons I don't tell my friends I do this. If I had told my friend what I was really doing for the past few months he would have shit his pants.

But doing this is a lot easier than trying to date. First, I stopped doing set ups years ago. People were constantly trying to set me up with their morbidly obese friends who were suffering from some sort of social anxiety disorder. "She would be good for you," they would say. They never took in consideration that I might not be interested in them. It made me wonder what their opinion was of me.

On the occasions I do date they usually end up disastrous. I am typically so wound up and nervous that I don't make a good impression. I keep telling people I should change my match.com profile headline to say "I am the best third date you'll ever have." By the third date I have become comfortable enough that I can actually be witty and charming.

So... the hobby is easier for me as a single guy. I get to spend some time with a beautiful woman of my choosing with makes me feel good for a little while.

I hope that made sense.

[npita]

The Cliff Notes Version: The chase is costly, time consuming and there's no guaranteed outcome. The hobby is costly, and a sure thing.

That's true for the type of ``chase'' you described, but I found it much less true for online dating. Even though the hobby is a sure thing, I never found the sex to be anywhere near on par with civilian sex, so I tried online dating. I didn't find that to be expensive, and although it wasn't a sure thing, it can be a fairly sure thing. The main drawback is that no strings attached probably doesn't really mean that. Then again, the hobby comes with its own brand of drama. I guess one's preference depends on which tradeoffs one wishes to make.

[LGALTW]

Tony Patella,

While I hobby quite a bit, I enjoy the chase almost as much. I travel quite a bit and therefore always have an upscale hotel room and expense account at my disposal. I am single (divorced), 40 years old.

I applaud your skills in bringing this MILF to the closing, but you made a foreseeable mistake - you got them too drunk (or at least her friend). This should have been avoidable. Not criticizing, just providing some feedback.

Tipsy girls fuck well (and usually more than once) and while drunken girls can sometimes rock your world they don't usually pan out near as often (my experience).

Did you suggest that y'all fuck in the bathroom? If she was recently divorced and really wanted some dick (a given in this instance), sounds like it could have been an option (or at least a last resort).

Plus, had you fucked her well enough in the bathroom, her concern for her friend being in the other room back at her place might have quickly vanished for the opportunity that she could get you in a bed, ride you CG and grind your dick off and wanting more from bathroom round 1.

Truly nothing better than giving a recent divorcee full control of your ready and willing dick

I’ve only fucked such a divorcee once and not only were the multiple rounds of fucking incredible, but she unleashed some very dirty talk during our romps (with my encouragement of course) that was very therapeutic for her in “starting a new chapter” right atop my therapy stick. LOL

Hobby on bro, all the best!

LGALTW

[Randall Creed]

Female friends are the biggest cockblockers on the planet. Every time I see such a scenario where there are two or more ladies I sigh and move on, and typically try to avoid them altogether. It's so bad that they don't even look out for each other, at least in a sense of seeing their girl get some dick. By comparison, guys will see what's going on and at least TRY not to be the cockblocker (if he's cool).

The friend: Ay, I'm good, man. Do yo thang, dog [gives handshake, parts ways].

Females are the opposite. They look for excuses NOT to separate or 'close the deal'. "Ohhh, I can't leave my girl", or "Where's my girl gonna go?", or "We gotta work tomorrow [Sunday]", or some other BS story.

Even worse is when one of the females is married. When you encounter a couple or group of girls and one of them is married: RUN!!!!! Don't waste ANY of your time. Unless you're Brad Pitt or LL Cool J, you're not getting ANY PUSSY in this instance. Don't even bother investing 3 or 4 hours of your night trying. You'll most likely regret it.

Most of what's been said so far is pretty much dead on. I'm single, but the hassle to get into some civvie panties.....damn. Just ain't worth it sometimes.

[Tony Patella]

Originally Posted by LGALTW

Tony Patella,

While I hobby quite a bit, I enjoy the chase almost as much. I travel quite a bit and therefore always have an upscale hotel room and expense account at my disposal. I am single (divorced), 40 years old.

I applaud your skills in bringing this MILF to the closing, but you made a foreseeable mistake - you got them too drunk (or at least her friend). This should have been avoidable. Not criticizing, just providing some feedback.

Tipsy girls fuck well (and usually more than once) and while drunken girls can sometimes rock your world they don't usually pan out near as often (my experience).

Did you suggest that y'all fuck in the bathroom? If she was recently divorced and really wanted some dick (a given in this instance), sounds like it could have been an option (or at least a last resort).

Plus, had you fucked her well enough in the bathroom, her concern for her friend being in the other room back at her place might have quickly vanished for the opportunity that she could get you in a bed, ride you CG and grind your dick off and wanting more from bathroom round 1.

Truly nothing better than giving a recent divorcee full control of your ready and willing dick

I’ve only fucked such a divorcee once and not only were the multiple rounds of fucking incredible, but she unleashed some very dirty talk during our romps (with my encouragement of course) that was very therapeutic for her in “starting a new chapter” right atop my therapy stick. LOL

Hobby on bro, all the best!

LGALTW

Good points LGAL, and as I said my game isn't the best anymore because the chase is simply no longer worth the effort to me. I was out, it was fun for a while, but my vote always goes for the sure thing! I leave the chase to guys like you who have game!

[hwygnome]

Hobby

While single I rarely date as I am on the road often. While on the road I don't often have the time to play the game and the deck is stacked against me. Even if she nearly throws herself at me(sigh, memories of the distant past) I often have to go to my room alone. I have to be mindful, of the perceptions and other things, of the people that are in the group. Once in Vegas I took a day off for myself before heading home and had a lady from here meet me there. Coming back to the hotel that night I happen to turn around and right behind me where a couple of people from the group that I had just spent the week with. Luckily they did not react and I did not have to interact with them either since I was headed home the next day alone.

So even if I play on the road I need to be away from the others in the group or have a reason to strike out on my own. And then I have to find a playmate that peaks my interest and happens to be in town. And then be willing to see me.

Even when I stay close to town my hours are all over the clock. I don't date to find a one night stand. Of course not being able to pick up on the subtle signs of her being ok with a quick romp I find it is much easier to go about it the easy way.

[Red Tex]

I have decided the hunting in strip clubs offers pretty good returns. While it is not near 100% like with a provider. It is fun to flirt and find those who are willing to play, both dancers and waitresses. Now, it takes more work, but it is more fullfilling than a standard provider for me.

I seem to ebb and flow from my desires.

[FishGuy13]

Originally Posted by Tony Patella

The Conclusion: Yep, I declined to drive the GF home. And Miss “I Am Lust” was amazed! Guess either my game isn’t that good, I’m not desperate enough or I just picked the wrong prospect. 15 years ago, I would have stayed out all night just to get some. Not interested in that folly any more, and my commitment to the people I work with is important. So in summary: my dinner, my drinks, food for the two of them, her drinks, her girlfriends drinks, tip for the bartender, total about $150 plus 5 hours invested. Not bad, matter of fact no big deal since it was on the corporate card. But, I had to play the game, invest the hours of time with an uncertain outcome, and ended up back at my hotel with Rosie Di Palma.

In spite of a fun night, this is what reaffirms my belief in the hobby Lot to be said for a sure thing!

Could not have said it better myself! I am single, never married but came close a few times and never had much 'game'. I got lucky once on a first date, but that turned into 10+ years of drama.
I can go out to a dance club and get a dance with the model type, but do not feel ... self confident enough to date the model type. It seems even the girl next door type ends with a few dances and us parting ways.