Blonde on a plane

[Toolman]

A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS, SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, WHO BELONGS IN ECONOMY, AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY, SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.

THE BLONDE AGAIN REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE SHOULD PROBABLY HAVE THE TORONTO POLICE STANDING BY, TO ARREST THE BLONDE, WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

NONPLUSSED, THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS. I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE AND I SPEAK BLONDE."

HE GOES BACK TO THE CABIN AND POLITELY WHISPERS SOMETHING IN THE EAR, TO WHICH SHE REPLIES, "OH, I'M SORRY," AND IMMEDIATELY RETURNS TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED. THEY ASK THE PILOT WHAT HE COULD HAVE SAID, TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT FURTHER FUSS.

"I TOLD HER," THE PILOT REPLIED, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO."

[Jase41]

That was preety good!

[Toolman]

Another blonde joke:

The blonde and the chimpanzees

A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?" Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"

"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble."

"I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde’s car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went.

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."

"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde," but we had money left over --- so now we're going to Sea World."

[jayray171]

Ok, a blonde walks into a building and goes up to a lady and loudly says "I'll have a cheeseburger, fries and a shake."
The lady looks at the blonde dumbfounded and says "Miss, this is a library........"
So the blonde moves closer and whispers, "Sorry, I'll have a cheeseburger, fries and a shake."

[oilfieldscum]

Blonde in a 737..Pilot comes over the intercom..we have a slight problem the left engine has failed..
don't worry..there will only be a 3hr. delay..blonde turn's to the woman seated next to her and tell's her.. gee if the right engine fails we'll really be late..we'll be up here all day...

[jasmin]

Originally Posted by Toolman

A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS, SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, WHO BELONGS IN ECONOMY, AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY, SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.

THE BLONDE AGAIN REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE SHOULD PROBABLY HAVE THE TORONTO POLICE STANDING BY, TO ARREST THE BLONDE, WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

NONPLUSSED, THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS. I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE AND I SPEAK BLONDE."

HE GOES BACK TO THE CABIN AND POLITELY WHISPERS SOMETHING IN THE EAR, TO WHICH SHE REPLIES, "OH, I'M SORRY," AND IMMEDIATELY RETURNS TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED. THEY ASK THE PILOT WHAT HE COULD HAVE SAID, TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT FURTHER FUSS.

"I TOLD HER," THE PILOT REPLIED, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO."

Uh I thought it was when the plane crossed the national borders due to the currency exchange......duh.

[pyro]

here's your sign...

[macksback]

lol

[Guest032414-2]

What do you call the blonde-haired skeleton in the closet?




Last year's hide and seek champion.




What goes blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette?




A fake blonde doing a cartwheel.




What do you call 25 blondes lined up ear to ear?




A wind tunnel.

[Toolman]

Blonde LOGIC

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking ..... and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away ..... Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"


CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic her car died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"


SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"


AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken"


KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.

Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"


BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"


IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"


RIVER WA LK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."


FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

[lil_michelle]

the greatest pick up line for a blonde...

Does this smell like chloroform to you?