Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Stephens
But why she would go so far to demonstrate that she was on her when it was not true is just hard for me to understand. Its just plain malevolent
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I've noted the same, pretty much across the board. My theory about why the ones who do this, do it:
During the entire lead-up to a scheduled appointment, the girl is fishing around for either a better / more lucrative offer, or (even better) a way to get ... whatever it is she's actually planning to spend your donation on ... without actually meeting anyone or providing any services. If she's able to accomplish either of those, she'll ghost you without a second thought. But if not, she's still got you in her back pocket in order to get some money. And I'd she feels like she's "just that close" to being able to accomplish her goal without actually seeing you, but hasn't quite closed the deal yet, she'll delay or drag things out as long as possible, just to allow herself some extra time to see if she can do what she's trying to do or get what she wants to get, before finally giving up and agreeing to meet (which may, of course, not actually happen).
The girl feels no risk in doing this to someone, because she knows that, eventually, he'll probably come crawling back looking for another chance to see her - or, if he doesn't, then *someone* will. At least, that's how she feels it will go.
My best strategy for dealing with someone who's known to do this (or that you might reasonably suspect might do this) is, you approach her and tell her, "I'd like to see you, if you're available *right now* - if you're not, that's fine, I'll just make arrangements with someone else, and maybe catch you some other time" (or words to that effect). And if the girl in question is too far away from you for that to be practical, my advice would be, don't even bother. Your time is worth more than that.