How to get a provider to see me

[15p103]

Originally Posted by himzert

I’m just giving you my advice. And to be even more blunt, I think there’s a real possibility this will make you feel even worse. It sure as shit has made me feel like shit often.

I am sorry to hear your experiences were like that. Trauma is different for everyone and I know exactly what I will and won't be getting out of this

[laserface]

Your primary challenge with the scenario you described, with someone like Charlotte Cole, is that when you reach out, you are almost certainly not actually talking to her. You're probably talking to either a handler, or someone she pays to "run interference" for her. They're going through their "potential new client initial contact" script, and if you don't fit neatly into the box they're expecting, they'll stop engaging - because it's their job to do exactly that...

The best advice I can give would be to say, "Here's my situation (in terms of lack of references, self-employed, etc.), what can I do to help you feel comfortable with the idea of meeting with me?", and see what (if anything) shakes out. And it's very possible that nothing will shake out - because if the provider has a handler or screener, that person is specifically tasked with deflecting people who don't fit neatly into the box, because minimizing the (perceived) risk to the provider is worth more to her than possibly losing the income from a single appointment, especially if she has other clients queued up wanting to see her who do fit into the expected box... But that's about the best shot to make something happen.

[15p103]

Yeah it was exactly this. They signed it as "Associates of"

And you are correct again because I did ask them what I could do/provide to make them more comfortable and yeah they said nothing can be done.

[chizzy]

Originally Posted by 15p103

I'm going to blunt, the fourth sentence where you say "I don't know what other avenues you have tried" Should have stopped you from commenting. Because you don't know what I've tried. You don't know I've done, you don't where I am in my healing stage. So those those thoughts not related to my question (my question was" how to get a provider to see me?") are kept solely between and my therapist. We know where I am in my healing stage. Your side thoughts are unwelcome and unneeded.

This is at least the second d thread you started where u ask advise and then complain about answers from people who are clearly attempting to assist you. Here's some advise...if u post a thread, expect opinions to to come. Some u may like,some you may not. Your responses come off being brass and pretty soon posters are simply going to ignore you.
U put it out there for all to see but then you become ultra sensitive to the responses. Not good

[15p103]

Originally Posted by chizzy

This is at least the second d thread you started where u ask advise and then complain about answers from people who are clearly attempting to assist you. Here's some advise...if u post a thread, expect opinions to to come. Some u may like,some you may not. Your responses come off being brass and pretty soon posters are simply going to ignore you.
U put it out there for all to see but then you become ultra sensitive to the responses. Not good

I do expect opinions, here's some advice though, if you post an off topic opinion, expect a response to that opinion. Some of my responses u may like, some you may not. But at the end of the day, you say something, I get to say something too. I ask a simple request concerning a simple topic, once someone chooses to go off topic they choose to invite a response you may not like. If someone stays on topic like the others who have offered advice, their advice gets responded to accordingly and appreciatively. So I guess what I am saying, stay on topic, OR if you choose to be off topic, be ready for a response as such. You being upset that I responded to something how I see fit comes off as ultra sensitive. Want people to say things but don't want things said to them?

[chizzy]

Originally Posted by 15p103

I do expect opinions, here's some advice though, if you post an off topic opinion, expect a response to that opinion. Some of my responses u may like, some you may not. But at the end of the day, you say something, I get to say something too. I ask a simple request concerning a simple topic, once someone chooses to go off topic they choose to invite a response you may not like. If someone stays on topic like the others who have offered advice, their advice gets responded to accordingly and appreciatively. So I guess what I am saying, stay on topic, OR if you choose to be off topic, be ready for a response as such. You being upset that I responded to something how I see fit comes off as ultra sensitive. Want people to say things but don't want things said to them?

Lol, it takes alot more than this board to upset me. Good luck in your hunt

[Jacuzzme]

If I were you, and wanted a more intimate, GFE type session with a solid provider who doesn’t want personal info, I’d give Lana a ring. She requires a couple things to verify you’re not LE, but not personal information.

[Headred740]

I wouldn’t tell them about your trauma history or anything of that sort. My guess is that it probably makes them uneasy about the potential situation.

[berryberry]

Originally Posted by 15p103

She had good reviews on the forum, seems most providers put in their ads that they request references from other providers or job info or something.

Just say no to any personal info. These providers are not giving you their real names, etc.

If they won't see you without that, move on to the next. You can read plenty of stories about them trying to blackmail / extort some guys, even by some well known more expensive names, including one who posts here

You will find others out there that don't require all that personal shit

And IMO you were unfair to Himzert in your response to him. You may have not appreciated his advice, but he was giving you his honest perspective. And you probably don't understand where he was coming from - but when he talked about "some damaged ***** on Mt Oliver" that should give you a clue what he meant about feeling worse instead of healing your trauma. You need to narrow your search to very understanding providers who provide a great girlfriend experience level of service

All that said, while I personally have never seen her, look up Winter Inez (aka KlassyGirl) on Tryst. I have no clue what if any info she may ask but I also haven't seen anyone speak poorly of her. She is local and may fit your needs

Good luck

[Typo]

Just pay a deposit and you'll be sure to see somebody nice

[15p103]

Originally Posted by Typo

Just pay a deposit and you'll be sure to see somebody nice

I have offered to pay deposits for people but they have not taken. Some people don't like paying deposits, I don't mind if it gets it done but none have accepted.

[Smarty1]

OP, it’s tough on the internet, but I suspect that Typo was being sarcastic. “You will know your dealing with a nice, reputable girl if you pay a deposit” is one of the more common lines of crap that providers who require deposits try to give us to convince us to pay in advance.

I’m not going to tell you not to pay a deposit. I will tell you that pretty much everything about seeing a provider boils down to risk and how much tolerance you have for various risks. Pay a deposit if you want, but understand that the provider very well might just completely ghost you after you do. If you can handle losing the money and you think that risk is worth the potential reward of seeing that provider then by all means have at it.

I know you want to see a provider because of your past trauma, and I won’t try to talk you out of it. However if you (and your therapist or whoever is helping you) aren’t familiar with the actual reality of what seeing a provider entails, then you really should pay attention to what people on here are telling you. I don’t care how reputable and/or well-reviewed a provider is, seeing that provider comes with certain risks. Being financially ripped off (whether by ghosting after a deposit or any of a number of other scams) is only one risk. You also run the risk of experiencing violence - a setup, a jealous boyfriend or husband, etc. You run the risk of being arrested; seeing a provider is still illegal. You run the risk of acquiring a health issue. Providers have sex with many partners and condoms are not 100% effective at preventing STDs. You also run the risk of having a lousy experience rather than the positive one you are looking for.

Again I’m not trying to talk you out of seeing a provider. I’m just trying to give you an idea of what might go wrong. It’s up to you to weigh the risks against the benefits, but you cannot do that unless you are aware of the actual reality of what might happen.

As far as actually getting a provider to see you, just be persistent. One thing that most of these girls have in common is piss poor communication skills. I would estimate that at least 75% of the time when I try to contact a provider I get no response. When I do get a response and actually set something up, it’s maybe 50/50 whether I will actually get to meet her. I have had providers keep in touch right up until our set time, I text her to let her know I’m 5 minutes away from her location. She say ok, come over, and that’s the last I hear from her. I know there are stories of providers texting guys days or weeks after the set time telling them “I’m ready now, come on over”. Point is, if you are having trouble getting a provider to see you, it may not be anything you’re doing wrong. Just be patient and persistent.