When the client finds out everything about you.

[Shanell Raely]

I’ve been going on quite a few social dates and thoroughly enjoy them. I recently went to the fair with a client friend since we both have a passion for thrill. It was a wonderful experience.. being wined and dined with deep fried shrimp étouffée and Jell-O shots, playing games we both suck at, snuggling in the Ferris wheel.. it was perfect. Until I heard my real name shouted across two lines at a concession stand. I peaked over my shoulder and here comes my best high school buddy… the award winning conversationalist.

“Omg ____, I haven’t seen you since [insert school name]! How have you been? Where’s [insert Ex boyfriends name]? I just saw mrs. [enter my mother’s name] at the store the other day. Do you still stay on [enter home street name]? Oh hey, who’s this guy (my client friend)? You look so good together! Remember when we pretended we were on Fear Factor and ate those lady bugs?

My first thought was to shove my candy apple in her mouth. Looking back, that sounds pretty hot.. but anyways, I asked him to hold our place in line for a second and pulled her to the side to give hugs, exchange numbers, and send her on her way. Though she’s quite the chatter box, I do miss my other half. When I got back to the line, I asked him how much he heard. He said “Well, ____ is a cute name. Should I stop there?”

Greeeeat. Might as well print a copy of my Driver’s license too.

Granted, I’m not bothered that he knows me personally. We’ve grown to trust each other through countless dates over the years and I know the same (technically more) about him so I call it even But it would have been nice to atleast smell the smoke before my privacy went up in flames. Small world.. too small lol.

[winn dixie]

Theres risks out in public.

[Shanell Raely]

Originally Posted by winn dixie

Theres risks out in public.

Correct. You’d have to weigh those risks to determine if outings are worth being “outed”. I didn’t mind much nor did my client friend. Moreso shockingly unexpected to hear so many beans scatter in under 10 seconds. Borderline impressive imo.

[sexykarma]

This all reminds me of a couple of examples.....

First one, I talked to a provider during a visit, she was talking about being in public, she had very distinctive tattoos that she didn’t shop out of her profile photos, 3 guys called her out by her trade name loud enough for anyone nearby to hear it and figure out she was a sex worker. Real dick move in my opinion but at the same time these guys outed themselves because how else would they know that she was who she was by seeing her tattoos? Implies that they have insider knowledge and they’re a part of the scene because the woman wasn’t some easily recognized celebrity.

Second one, I went out on an incall massage meet, saw the provider park by the curb and walk into the building, I was looking through the lobby and saw an identification card hanging on a chain from the rearview mirror. I had the chance to walk up to the vehicle and see the exact name of my provider but took a pass on that one. But it was there if I wanted it. I always make sure if I have any mail addressed to me laying on the seat or dash that before I leave the vehicle that it’s covered or turned over to the blank backside.

But I can see in the original post how some gabby friend can come into the scene and spill the beans on someone, if i was the male date in that situation I would at least tell the provider that whatever I heard would be held confidential and private and not be repeated to anyone else. Give the provider the sense that the knowledge wasn’t going to have any ill consequences.

[Fizley]

It all depends on the people. Sounds like you have seen this guy multiple times an there is a sense of trust. If threr is I wouldn't worry about it too much.

There have been many providers who know my real name and my profession. Just like I have known many providers and known where they live. As along as everyone has a clear understanding, it's not that big of a deal.

The problems occur when one party does not respect the boundaries.

Carry on just like you have, if he crosses a boundary then put him in his place. If he doesn't respect the boundaries beyond that might need to consider moving or getting the badge involved.

[Salty Again]

Originally Posted by Fizley

It all depends on the people. Sounds like you have seen this guy multiple times an there is a sense of trust. If threr is I wouldn't worry about it too much.

There have been many providers who know my real name and my profession. Just like I have known many providers and known where they live. As along as everyone has a clear understanding, it's not that big of a deal.

The problems occur when one party does not respect the boundaries.

Carry on just like you have, if he crosses a boundary then put him in his place. If he doesn't respect the boundaries beyond that might need to consider moving or getting the badge involved.

That's all surely good advice. Maybe your friend already "knew" your real name, anyway. Either way, Fizley is correct. Respecting the boundarys is the key.

We Australians got a saying: "No sense crying once the milk has spilled-over. Finish the biscuit without it."

### Salty

[JRLawrence]

Originally Posted by Shanell Raely

I’ve been going on quite a few social dates and thoroughly enjoy them. I recently went to the fair with a client friend since we both have a passion for thrill. It was a wonderful experience.. being wined and dined with deep fried shrimp étouffée and Jell-O shots, playing games we both suck at, snuggling in the Ferris wheel.. it was perfect. Until I heard my real name shouted across two lines at a concession stand. I peaked over my shoulder and here comes my best high school buddy… the award winning conversationalist.

“Omg ____, I haven’t seen you since [insert school name]! How have you been? Where’s [insert Ex boyfriends name]? I just saw mrs. [enter my mother’s name] at the store the other day. Do you still stay on [enter home street name]? Oh hey, who’s this guy (my client friend)? You look so good together! Remember when we pretended we were on Fear Factor and ate those lady bugs?

My first thought was to shove my candy apple in her mouth. Looking back, that sounds pretty hot.. but anyways, I asked him to hold our place in line for a second and pulled her to the side to give hugs, exchange numbers, and send her on her way. Though she’s quite the chatter box, I do miss my other half. When I got back to the line, I asked him how much he heard. He said “Well, ____ is a cute name. Should I stop there?”

Greeeeat. Might as well print a copy of my Driver’s license too.

Granted, I’m not bothered that he knows me personally. We’ve grown to trust each other through countless dates over the years and I know the same (technically more) about him so I call it even But it would have been nice to atleast smell the smoke before my privacy went up in flames. Small world.. too small lol.

Be happy. It sounds like the guy covered for you and he gave no information to your friend. It sounds like your HS friend was very curious about who they guy was and wanted more information. The answer, it is none of her business. Tell her that you guys are still unsure about the relationship. That is a nice way of saying none of her business. She might not catch the meaning, but your business is none of her's.

[Ripmany]

Most providers don't give out there real name is because don't want to stalk, or be found out about on a cashier job outside of hobby. Guy pick real provider there reducing there risk. If you not going out side hobby don't risk it.

[FatCity]

Originally Posted by Shanell Raely

Until I heard my real name shouted across two lines at a concession stand.

on a related note

https://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=2808421


Your 'real' identity, honestly doesn't reveal much about you. Providers aren't secret super heroes. For whatever reason, most providers tell me their REAL name not long after we meet, its not a big deal.


What should be alarming, if you're really trying to mask a persona, is how much you reveal about yourself through non-verbal communication. Most providers I've met TALK a big game of being cultured, eclectic tastes, deep interests....but this charade falls apart quickly after a little conversation. The ones I've shared time with and this didn't end with them being exposed as a fraud turns out real well, because they're genuine. For what its worth, women in general have a difficult time with self-reflection and how they are being perceived, primarily because you're a conditioned to be so self-centered. You never have to truly deal with how you're perceived to survive. There's always some other way to cop out of responsibility. Its not an insult, its just reality that you should take advantage of. The lesson to learn is to know you (women) just aren't that slick, so just be who you are... men will deal with it.

[Ripmany]

Originally Posted by FatCity

on a related note

https://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=2808421


Your 'real' identity, honestly doesn't reveal much about you. Providers aren't secret super heroes. For whatever reason, most providers tell me their REAL name not long after we meet, its not a big deal.


What should be alarming, if you're really trying to mask a persona, is how much you reveal about yourself through non-verbal communication. Most providers I've met TALK a big game of being cultured, eclectic tastes, deep interests....but this charade falls apart quickly after a little conversation. The ones I've shared time with and this didn't end with them being exposed as a fraud turns out real well, because they're genuine. For what its worth, women in general have a difficult time with self-reflection and how they are being perceived, primarily because you're a conditioned to be so self-centered. You never have to truly deal with how you're perceived to survive. There's always some other way to cop out of responsibility. Its not an insult, its just reality that you should take advantage of. The lesson to learn is to know you (women) just aren't that slick, so just be who you are... men will deal with it.

I only see provider find name via reverse look up, or some other maaket she makes.

[BLM69]

I know a lot of the ladies RW names that I have visited here, most are sloppy leaving their personal info out, some have had the knock on the door with someone calling their real name, some I've done business with, I would never use it against them or share their info with anyone.