Quote:
Originally Posted by 12345abC
And the free time.
It must be nice to have superpowers.
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Those who abstain or use moderation have the superpowers.
I never wrote what I do is healthy, financially prudent, or advisable for myself or anyone else. The title is "Addict's Tilt" for a reason.
Of course I'm pissing money and time away chasing pussy. I'm fucking myself over in my pursuit of momentary pleasure. I openly admit it's an unhealthy addiction which leaves us with nothing to show for all our money and effort.
It may provide a fleeting high. But today is Monday, and that was Friday. I'm feening for more hits. I've been disciplined today, but tomorrow is a whole new day. Won't a hit of the flesh-meth be okay tomorrow, after all it's been three days? Come on, it's okay, you waited patiently three days, you need it. She just texted you. She's available. What's the big deal? I'm on my way over.
It's a weird addiction because it sounds great but we all know it's ultimately not healthy. I'm fucking my life - I'm fully aware of that. Yes, it most definitely affects my real-world in many ways. I've been open about the lows, not just the highs. And oh, there have been lows.
This can be a very destructive hobby. Building model airplanes is a better hobby. Ham radio is a better hobby. Bowling is a better hobby. Chasing paid pussy? Not a safe hobby. Fun, but so is the prohibited topic. An addict is an addict. We're all the same, we just choose different methods of execution.
For years I used to throw my burner phones out the window on the Thruway. I'd say not again. I'm done. I'm not going to see anyone. That's enough. I'd shred my atm cards and canceled any credit cards which had cash advance. I'd always wait until the banks were closed thinking I made it in the clear. But I'd always find a way. Oh, I can use a text app on the computer? Oh, I can cash checks at Price Chopper? I'm on my way over.
I finally gave up trying to quit, and accepted I'm too deeply flawed to give up my need for paid pussy. There's no fixing it. Just waiting out the clock on life.
If only I could relinquish any interest in paid pussy, and use all that time and money on more productive pursuits - or on nothing at all. I already fucked enough for ten lifetimes. Achieved every wetdream ten times over. I'll never fuck them all. Every year a new batch turns legal. How many do I need? How much is enough? But when you're an addict, it's never enough. It's like eating - I ate today. I'll need to eat tomorrow. And the next day, and the next. Why go hungry on any day? Incall available? I'm on my way over.
There's always a price to pay, and I pay it. Not just literally.
Anyone could afford to do what I do. It only costs you the life you could have had.
Addict's Tilt
