MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

[oeb11]

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE


This needs no explanation - and is a fun read, no matter your gender.



What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Wrinkles add character.

A wedding dress - $5,000 VS Tux rental - $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Two pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!



NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.



EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, the outcome is the pocket calculators.




MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.



BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337 A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.



ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.



FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.



MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.



DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.



NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they go to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.



OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.



THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

So, send this to the women who have a sense of humor …. and to the men who will enjoy reading.



enjoy a laugh this am
Curmudgeons please STFU!

[Jam3768]

Although this is commendable because you finally post something other than your usual drivel, you are far more hilarious when you do your Ben Stein impression dozens of times every day.

Bueller

Bueller

[oeb11]

Oh my , my - does j has its knickers in a snit??
[nothing but gratuitous cheapshots - to illustrate the profound personal (and deserved0 insecurity of the poster???
J - Ben Stein is a very accomplished man - One J would do well to look to as a role model and emulate. ]





Evidently - darn 'Right"!!!!
LOL!

[Tsmokies]

Don't forget...men can pay to get some good pussy w/o having to pay the price of taking care of an old woman ����

[oeb11]

ts - men always pay - one way or another.

It is the nature of the species.

[mbhoney]

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

love that statement

[Jam3768]

Allow me to state the incredibly obvious here for your benefit oebbie -- I was not comparing you to Ben Stein the man but to the buffoonish character he played in the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Surely you can't be so obtuse that you do not realize that. But the numerous repetitive posts you make on a daily basis present a compelling argument that you actually are so amazingly obtuse.

[oeb11]

Stalking much

true to your DPST LSm ideology - totally compliant with harris marxist revolution!
ThankU - J
BTW - "All Lives Matter" a caveat for self-centered violent marxists.


Now - stalking much ??? - this is the Comedy Corner - DPST - you might just notice the lack of political posts

But - I doubt that.

[Nathanflores65]

Originally Posted by Tsmokies

Don't forget...men can pay to get some good pussy w/o having to pay the price of taking care of an old woman ����

[gnadfly]

If Mike, Dave and Joe go out for lunch they meet at Hooters at noon talk sports and split the check.

When Sally, Debra and Kate go out for lunch at noon they spend 30 minutes determining where to eat. Along the way Melinda and Josephine ask to join. Due to dietary restrictions they change their destinations twice and Kate drops out because of an afternoon meeting she forgot about. When they get their order they ask "Is this healthy?" and voice aloud how they should have gotten the Mediterrean salad. They're back in the office at 2:45.