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mokgp2017 · 10-15-2018, 06:33 AM

I am seeing a lady who is into BDSM, and is a Submissive. How do I approach our first session together? Any suggestions for a guy who will be in his first Dom role.

I would assume it is completely different from taking the lead during a regular session

Ms. Athena · 10-15-2018, 08:01 AM

Most true subs on here are trained to Top from the bottom, they know how to guide you for both your pleasures. Butt have a strong presence, back straight, voice firm and just have fun

Gotyour6 · 10-15-2018, 08:59 AM

As you should be aware subs have all the control.
Start slow and ask as you go.

Safe words should be established and dont go to far the first time.

You can mention to call you sir and if she doesn't then she gets punished.

My sub will forget intentionally just so she does get punished.

I will also grab the belt but not hit her with it. I will ask if she deserves it and she will say yes but I know not to hit her with it. I just want her to know that if she is a bad girl I will spank her with the belt (But both her and I know I would NEVER do it)

That could be a slap on the ass or a gag of your cock. Depending on what rules are applied.

I used red and yellow as safe words.

Yellow meaning no farther and red is stop.

As you see each other it will get more comfy

mokgp2017 · 10-15-2018, 10:25 AM

Thank you so much! This is invaluable!

Willen · 10-15-2018, 11:45 AM

Good advice. I'd add one other thing. Sometimes in play you may be using a gag or be doing something that can muffle the voice. It's also good to have a non-verbal 'stop' signal--three vigorous shakes of the head, two slaps of the hand, snap of the fingers, whatever.