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Had a date at 7 with a familiar fellow, and was waiting at the hotel that I’d booked for him when I get a text. A few more typos than usual, but I think nothing of it. Says he’s been out on the boat, he'd lost track of time, etc...he will be late. No worries, I am chilling in the jacuzzi. 3 hours later, after my texts asking for an eta remain unanswered, I am gathering my stuff to leave for home, and cranky about paying for a hotel I apparently did not need.
Having one of those rare hotel windows that open a bit, i suddenly hear a bellowing from outside, repeating something, can’t hear what exactly. I am the curious sort, and couldn’t see from the window, so I saunter down the hall and outside to see that it’s my date, drunk as hell, standing in his boat, and yelling my name.
His buddy (too drunk to have been driving) is in the truck, while Captain Sh*thead is shirtless, holding a beer, and standing on the boat, with his arms outstretched, yelling my name. At the top of his lungs. JAAAAAAAAAANE. HEY JAAAAAAAAANE. Amazingly, no one else seems to have noticed.
He is completely unaware that this may cause me...difficulties.
Also unaware that bringing a friend is pants-on-head stupid.
Upon seeing me, he loudly declares that I am looking “FIIIIIINE AS HEYALLL GIRL!”
I fly over there, tell him to SHUT THE HELL up...thank god no one else seemed to even be interested, lot was quiet aside from these winners.
I was furious, for many reasons. They find this *hilarious*.
I told them to listen carefully and I’d make sure they didn’t get what they deserved.
I ordered buddy to move over, got date out of the boat and in the truck, and drove the truck and trailer to the pilot and parked it. Took the keys.
Called a cab and put them in it, gave the driver the keys and told him to return them when he took them home (luckily I knew his address).
Never heard from him again, and never did get paid. Ate the cost of the hotel and decided to tell myself that $120 was a fair price to pay to offload a moron from my roster.
Classic story, and hilarious, though certainly not at the time!
Maybe he's a Brando fan. It's reminiscent of this...just replace "STELLAAAAAA!" with "JAAAAAAANE!"
Okay I have a story
Well I was in Louisiana at the time !
Everything was going good with my date !
We had our fun an was really getting into it! I was in doggy style and everything was great untill I hear him say oh ya that feels good on my balls.
I am like what I can't reach your balls!
So he turns around and finds my lilttle puppy licking his balls!! He thought it was me at first an than he realized and yelled at my dog .(not to loud or mean). All I could do was laugh !!
It was the funniest moment !
Don’t know if anyone remembers Hazel off of BP a couple years ago.
Saw her about 4-5 times very hot blond with abs.
After getting to know each other better we discovered we were cousins “ by marriage “ only at least.
So yeah I can pick up chicks at family reunions. Lol
Several years ago, I was having a wonderful BBBJ from a provider. I had seen this provider more than once so we were comfortable with each other. She was very GFE, and while BBBJ and CIM was available, facials were absolutely off limits! So we schedule a the date, with a CIM finish planned.
It was a wonderful date! We were really into the moment, I was incredibly excited! But just when I was starting to climax, she got the hiccups! She jerked her head back just as my muscles spasm-ed, and let's just say her face and hair suddenly got VERY messy.
We looked at each other in horror a moment! I knew facials were off the menu, but this wasn't my fault! She looked surprised for a moment, then angry! I knew she was going to yell at me, ruining the perfect evening, but then she broke down into hysterical laughter. Fortunately it was her only appointment that day. She cleaned up, then I took her out for a casual dinner afterwards by way of apology.
Several years ago, I was having a wonderful BBBJ from a provider. I had seen this provider more than once so we were comfortable with each other. She was very GFE, and while BBBJ and CIM was available, facials were absolutely off limits! So we schedule a the date, with a CIM finish planned.
It was a wonderful date! We were really into the moment, I was incredibly excited! But just when I was starting to climax, she got the hiccups! She jerked her head back just as my muscles spasm-ed, and let's just say her face and hair suddenly got VERY messy.
We looked at each other in horror a moment! I knew facials were off the menu, but this wasn't my fault! She looked supposed for a moment, then angry! I knew she was going to yell at me, ruining the perfect evening, but then she broke down into hysterical laughter. Fortunately it was her only appointment that day. She cleaned up, then I took her out for a casual dinner afterwards by way of apology.
I was seeing a lady who had a small dog that she takes with her everywhere. I was doing DATY on her & she was moaning & holding my head & all of a sudden in a shrill voice she exclaims "what the hell you doing" I immediately popped backwards & said "I am sorry, what did I do"
Her little dog was peeing on my pants laying in the floor. Luckily it was on the lower part of the leg & we washed the area & I was able to go straight home afterwards to change
I wonder how many of us have become clichés, hiding naked in the closet, clutching our clothes and trying to get dressed as quietly as possible to prepare to make a break for it. A lot, I'll bet.
I did, just once. First time I had seen this particular provider. It was at her house. We were in the bedroom and things were going wonderfully until I heard a door slam and heavy footsteps coming down the hall. I jumped up and grabbed my clothes and ran into the closet, where I stood contemplating my life and choices. Then she came and got me and said it was her cousin who was drunk or something and she had gotten rid of him and we finished the date.
Not all that funny I know, but I'll bet it's a much more common experience than we realize.
My Bio Page - Nevada - Las Vegas
My Bio Page - Arkansas
