Friend getting blackmailed. Suggestions?

[fuyd369]

Years ago, my friend met a girl in the Buffalo area on CL, although he's from greater Rochester area. They met several times, became friends, as well as mutually beneficial relationship. While dating his now-wife & in early-marriage years of post-nuptial shut-off, he saw CL girl on & off. More than a year ago, she said she's done with providing service to anyone. He says ok, they part ways amicably. Fast forward to present, his wife is better in the bedroom, they have 2 kids, he has a family he likes, and built a small business he likes.

About 2 months ago, CL chic texted him out of the blue, said she was having financial trouble, needed some money, would be a one-time thing. He said sure, and mailed her money to her house-address. Now she keeps asking for more money, threatening that there will be trouble if he doesn't keep paying. What's interesting here is that they both know a ton about each other. She knows about his trucking business, he knows about her mother's auto-repair shop, they both know each other's full names, and full addresses. The trump card is that he's married, and she can hang that over his head that she'll find a way to tell on him to his wife (at least, that's what he's most worried about).

He can't keep hiding ATM withdrawals from his wife, so he confided in me for help, but I'm unsure what approach would be best, so I'm deferring to the community.

What's weird is that she appears to have blocked his number in some way. She'll text him randomly at all different hours of the day, and he has maybe a 10 to 20 second window where he can get a text through, but after that his texts fail to go through. If he does get a text through, she usually just doesn't respond anyway. It's like she un-blocks him to send a message, then re-blocks him afterward. So effectively, *** he doesn't have a way to return communication. ***

WHAT SHOULD HE DO??? ANYBODY EVER DEALT WITH THIS BEFORE??? SHOULD HE DRIVE TO HER HOUSE AND TALK TO HER? TALK TO HER MOM (WHO SHE ALSO LIVES WITH)? BRING A POSSE OF GUYS TO HER HOUSE? TEXT HER FROM A DIFFERENT NUMBER? USE A DISPOSABLE PHONE TO PRETEND TO BE HIS WIFE, CLAIMING SHE FOUND OUT AND WILL KICK THIS B*TCH'S ASS? OTHER SUGGESTIONS???

[offshoredrilling]

new cell phone number ta start
but for others he will have ta give that number and maybe come up with a story why
say it was hacked should work

As to that disposable phone pretend to be wife mmmmmm could work.

[fuyd369]

Thanks for the suggestion offshore, but not sure it would work. New cell for him is likely tough to pull off. He's had that number for 16 years. It would screw up his business. If a phone were hacked, why might that make it un-usable? Too many friends would be wondering the answer to that question as well. Also, it still doesn't deal with the issue that this girl could drive right to his house and confront his wife. Not trying to sound hostile to your suggestion, but rather pointing out that we were wondering a similar thing at first, and then thought about the above things and decided against it.

Biggest thing eating away at me is what the heck we should say upon getting in touch with this girl? Threats? Be nice? Pretend to be someone else? Really on the fence on thisl

[doctorisin]

Wow. Bummer!!! Good reminder about keeping personal info personal... the text from the wife could work... but he probably just has to hope she is bluffing and doesnt want her family to know she was whoring. He just has to make sure she knows that she‘d be outing them both and hope for the best.

[offshoredrilling]

ya know a detective ya can talk to off the record?
can he block her number?
going to see seems a bad next move

[offshoredrilling]

Originally Posted by doctorisin

Wow. Bummer!!! Good reminder about keeping personal info personal... the text from the wife could work... but he probably just has to hope she is bluffing and doesnt want her family to know she was whoring. He just has to make sure she knows that she‘d be outing them both and hope for the best.

that has worked before
but I bet we do not have all the story to know it would work this time

I know a guy where that worked for a year
for him sadly it was a buddy's daughter
so she held off till found a new angle

[applefan125]

potential problem with pretending to be the wife, is that the hook will think there's nothing to lose since the leverage dissipates and can potentially try to accost the wife or make a scene in public

[doctorisin]

Originally Posted by applefan125

potential problem with pretending to be the wife, is that the hook will think there's nothing to lose since the leverage dissipates and can potentially try to accost the wife or make a scene in public

Accosting the wife or making a scene, only really gonna happen if the girl is in love with the guy and wants the mrs outta the way, right? This is about money, supporting a habit, whatever... so i think bluffing the wife knows is worth a shot, no leverage then... if that doesnt work, pray the chick is also just bluffing. Doesnt sound like shewas hooking much or for very long... she probablly doesnt want outed, either.

If the chick is abusing drugs, out her that way to her family, anonymousy if possible... maybe she gets some help and loses the need for quick dollars, but that seems like a lasr resort, if he feels like shes definitely going through with the threat.

[plezrpain]

Hire a lawyer to go explain the legal ramifications to her & her mother if she keeps trying to extort him. You're only real other alternative is to go discuss it with the police and have them warn her about trying to extort.

Trying to run from it or handle it with intimidation can only make matters fester or worse.

[Plastic Man]

first it maybe aint ...yer friend ya be writin bouts now ...is it

...an third trailer park soap ...opera drama like this donts fit in too well with the lives ...a the upstandin gentry on this beloved jimmie board so the responses may nots ...be informed ones

[Luvbubbles]

Gotta get a burner phone every six months. You get a new number, buy minute cards and spwill not know with the new number.

[fuyd369]

Thanks for all the replies so far, keep 'em coming. Want to have all options on the table, so to speak.

apple - Interesting point. I'll tell him to weigh that carefully.

Plastic - I knew somebody would think that, surprised it took several posts, actually. It really is a friend, not me. I'm disgruntled over being f-ed over several times (albeit much smaller problems with different women), so I told him I'd help. That's why I'm here instead of him. Also, he doesn't feel like creating an account.

plezer - If he involves a lawyer or the police, how does he keep from ramifications from the law for supporting the hobby? Also, wouldn't his wife find out for sure in those cases?

doctor - Outing her anonymously to her family is an interesting idea. She currently has no web posts that we can find to print off for evidence, though. How would you go about getting her family to believe the accusation?

[Guest072323]

Originally Posted by fuyd369

doctor - Outing her anonymously to her family is an interesting idea. She currently has no web posts that we can find to print off for evidence, though. How would you go about getting her family to believe the accusation?

How indeed....
And how would she prove the same to your friends wife?

[loginname]

1. Cut her off. Not another nickel. Every dime he gives her is an investment - for her. It just gives her more leverage.

2. Next time she asks, just tell her "No" and tell her he has already discussed this with the police, and they've recommended that she does not contact him again.

3. What does she really have on him? Can she prove to his wife they were meeting after he met the wife? Why couldn't he just claim this was some old flame who was trying to screw with him from spite?

IMO, she is looking for easy cash. If she really understands there is no more coming, then she has no real upside to outing him - that won't get her more money, and carries considerable risk to herself, both legal and otherwise. After all, if she did out him to his wife, HE has nothing to lose at that point by going to the police, and extortion is a felony.

[fuyd369]

Paul - Even without proof, I think the wife would forever be un-trusting, looking over his shoulder, and questioning constantly. But I guess I don't really know.

login - I like this advice. I'm around 95% sold on your ideas.