Being there for providers

[Contralto]

Originally Posted by gentlemantoo

Friend? Are men that desperate for affection? They are not friends, ... Keep your emotional distance and have physical fun, she keeps her distance and for her it is work not fun. IMHO

I agree with portions of what you've said here but for my taste your approach is too exclusionary. I believe after you've hobbied as long as many of us have you can successfully find a way to have friends and maintain your boundaries.

[Guest122317-1]

Ok.. your right acquaintance.. LOL.. similar to having coffee with your mechanic.. Or a salesman stopping in on a client for sales. or applying for a loan at a bank Not all sales associates just write a check and go sometimes you have to create a bond the same way with your banker you go into see him about a loan it is better that you have a good rapport with them.. you have to communicate with them. Or working in a factory or office you work close to one another and when you go to the lunch room people aren't just quiet they talk back and forth that is a working relationship it hasn't anything to do with being in a personal relationship but one of mutual respect. I personally prefer a lady that is more willing to communicate be herself then a get in get on and get out that is to mechanical for something so sensitive. since I dont' really travel I kind of enjoy it when one of the traveling ladies sees a great sunset or sunrise and takes a quick picture of it and sends it saying hey thought you might like this.. it was great or.. if you ever make it here you have to try this restaurant their blah blah blah is the best.... the Ladies provide us with a very important service to treat them as just a hunk of meat laying on the bed isn't something I care to be about. It isn't just about the one thing.. we contact them about the service and for the service and they provide us with the services with a smile on their face to treat them with dignity isn't going beyond any more bounds than talking to the person working next to you or stopping for a beer with the boys after work. They allow us the client to retain our dignity as men and provide services that those close to us are unwilling to provide. The business they have is totally about the Benjamin's but on the other hand they have a lot of expenses that go along with this service and treating them as a valued merchant is the only decent thing to do. We don't actually get involved with each other life or the drama's that they have in their life but a casual conversation similar to the kind you would have with a coworker is ok. You both retain your distance your personal life stays private but the tension you would feel being cold is gone..
At my age little willie has a mind of his own and just doesn't pop up at the sight of a lady.. it has be resurrected..

[*GoddessDallas*]

This isn't rocket science.
Spa999 is compassionate and kind and many men aren't.
Respect is contagious.
Thank you, spa999.

[Guest122317-1]

Originally Posted by *GoddessDallas*

This isn't rocket science.
Spa999 is compassionate and kind and many men aren't.
Respect is contagious.
Thank you, spa999.

Exactly..

[yitzchak]

Fuck these hos

Can't trust these hos

[Guest030824]

Yitzchak
You and Wakeup would make a great pair. Looking at your other posts you just jump it to piss and moan. But never offer any thoughtful information.

[Road Lizard]

Originally Posted by yitzchak

Fuck these hos

Can't trust these hos

Go get laid, you'll feel better.

[Wakeup]

Thank you...

[Guest122317-1]

Originally Posted by Wakeup

Thank you...

The ladies I have met have been super.. I enjoy their company as much as the services.. There are a couple that would rather it stay the four g,s but others would go the extraI mile to..example I had a serious cash flow one of the ladies texted me saying she would be in my area visiting and would I like to get together. I mentioned I wished I could but had the cash flow problem that wouldn't allow the visit..her response.. Oh heck stop on by we will work it out another day.. We had a great time she.knew that for.me it is a quality of.life issue not just how many...even though its their business and they require money to provide the services it isnt always about the four g,s and the Benjamin's of course she was there for me..
Would I be there for her ...in a heart beat I of course made up the loss of income later on ..

[SisterTwister]

Originally Posted by spa999

Been thinking... hobbyists and providers form a kind of community. I am thinking of those for whom tricking or seeing providers is part of their lives, regardless of the marital or relationship status of either. While it's true providers wouldn't have sex with us unless we paid them (well, there are exceptions, but this is atypical), nonetheless collectively us hobbyists form fairly intimate relationships with providers over time. Some can become quite personal, even if the rel'p never becomes a "conventional" one (ie, money stops changing hands on a per encounter basis; in "conventional" hetero rel'ps, it still changes hands but more regularly and without a specific quid pro quo at the time... but that's typically the only real measurable difference).

I have observed that there are some providers who may not be talking to their clients about it, but are sitting on some serious issues. Some include not having decent or any health insurance, not being "legal" in the typical sense (ie, haven't filed any kind of tax return in X years, nor have a recorded income via W-2s, etc.), thereby giving rise to more problems. Some include but are not limited to being able to get SS Disability if they get seriously sick or injured, etc. Then there are such matters as wills or legal issues like trusts for minor children (ie, if a kid's mom can no longer provide for her due to death, etc., then what?) Others have concerns such as having parents or other fam. members in need of care or help and not knowing what to do to help them, etc. Then there are those with substance addictions who turned to tricking to feed their addiction who are way off the books and may have priors, etc.

Some of us hobbyists are in a position to be of assistance to them with little or no cost to ourselves because of what we know. Given that we are, collectively, all being intimate with these women, to me it kind of makes sense that where we can do so w/out endangering our own private lives or being taken advantage of monetarily or some other way, that we do so. If we can't be of help to the women we are having sex with, who can we be to?

What do you all (hobbyists and providers) think of us asking the ECCIE admins to open a new board up entitled simply "Requests for Assistance, Input, and Information" wherein anyone (hobbyists, too) can post requests for same for sometimes rather serious issues providers have in their lives and those of their children? I would suggest that ppl posting to the board do so under a 2nd userid so as to protect the poster's privacy. A provider may for example be well-known as "YourGirlFridayXXX" and have a lot of clients but may not want everyone to know of her legal or other problems, so she'd make a new ID named like "Me123" and post to that board with that ID.

Then of course hobbyists or indeed other providers could reply with helpful advice, directions to resources, etc. I'd suggest having both a national board and local boards for ea. locale (as we do for reviews and ads) so that if someone believed she or he needed to meet someone to further their assistance, they would be local.

Only rule would be this: It's all free. No provider should feel she needs to supply her service gratis in exchange for assistance and no hobbyist would expect her to. Obviously though, you're consenting adults so if things happen, they do. But there should be no expectation of any quid pro quo. This is entirely by way of us as hobbyists being there to help and support our beloved providers. In return though, providers should not expect of or ask a hobbyist for direct financial support, or to do anything that could cause his hobbying to be exposed, endangering his "real-world" life situation. And any assistance rendered would have to be utterly confidential even within this community, and a hobbyist should feel free to decline a request for assistance w/out it being some kind of strike against him. Ie, if he is a girl's client too and he declines to help her, that reason alone should not get him blacklisted from her or anyone else, hence the need for internal confidentiality, too.

Well what do you all think? I can see it working so long as everyone understands the ground rules and lives on their honor (as it were) to execute them. I can see a lot of good for a lot of ppl coming from it.

Terrific post.

I've done this several times. It's a rewarding feeling to help someone through things. It's also come back to bite me a time or two but I wouldn't stop being open to helping someone because of a negative experience.

[SisterTwister]

Originally Posted by yitzchak

Fuck these hos

Can't trust these hos

What does trusting someone have to do with being a decent human being to somebody?

I doubt the "hos" have you high on their list of trustworthy sorts either.

Women...even those in this business, are people. I see no need to create a separate category for them. There are lots of people I don't trust who have reputable jobs. One just got elected president in fact.

[vitameatavegamin]

This is hands down one of the best if not the best threads on eccie.........just bumping for now until i have a bit more time to give my thoughts.

[vitameatavegamin]

Spa999 has a good idea, as long as its properly watched over. I consider myself lucky to have two excellent women that I know and see when circumstances allow, who are eccie members......and great people! (I don't do names....out of respect for their privacy) If they had issues that could use my help, my door would be open, if they wished. If not then, the best thing is to be supportive, silent, but if circumstances did change, be around.


To me, it's just a matter of realizing that we are all human beings in the hobby, and that decency and mutual respect for all should be the norm. Also, discretion, and protection for everyone involved as far as life, career should be part of this......no one should want to go around ruining others. There should also be good faith, that if you are honorable, then expect the same in return.

It's actually quite simple..be good to others and they should be the same...in all relationships, hobby or not!. If I did have to break off or stop, it would be done quietly, and with respect for everyone else, and with a clear conscience. As much as possibile, I try to be the same NO MATTER if it's in the hobby , or NOT. (You win some, lose some....life!) I also look forward to more good times, but when the situations allow........

[jack_black81]

unfortunately, 99% of these ladies don't want to be fixed and dont want to be helped beyond anything superficial. Some of them are just gone mentally. This is the sad part.

Any help you provide to them you are seen as weak or a sucker, you're an ATM. A regular woman might see you as a nice guy/gentleman or a catch, but I think most providers have a different view of men. Alot of them have loser boyfriends who mooch off of them, abuse them, etc but to many of them, THAT is a good man, a real man. Not the guy who has to pay for play...that guy is lame.

OP--if you want to help someone, go ahead. But don't expect anything at all in return.

I treat all these women as a gentleman/friend would, but that treatment is often not returned. So in some cases it'sjust best to NOT put yourself out there at all b/c most of the smiles are fake.

[ronrocket]

Originally Posted by joesmo888

find a girlfriend, sounds like hobbying isn't for you and you are looking for problems/drama in your life

the point of hobbying is to get laid and not have to talk to the person again unless you want to.

Yep. If you want emotional connections, get a girlfriend/mistress. You can and should be nice to the lady while with her, but when the fun is done, that is it. Anything else is asking for unintended consequences and trouble.