Screening...am i asking too much of the gentleman?

[SweetSuzanna]

I am very private, discreet and safety is #1 priority. So when i ask a guy for references, I often get a few names and their phone numbers. I explain that I don't call providers so please send me a link to their showcase so I can PM them. I ask for the man's name and phone number and approximately when he saw her. Lastly, I ask for something about themselves or what they chatted about..something to help her remember him. Is this too much to ask?

[DallasRain]

No..That is what I ask for too...screening is number one and can't be slacked on...........I will sometimes even screen a provider if i am not familiar with to make sure she is legit.

[Mizzou82]

the problem with your process is that many many providers don't check their accounts here or on p411 very often. Not sure i understand what is keeping you from sending the provider a text. You are obviously having problems the way you do it, or you wouldn't be asking.

[Cleo]

Maybe I am totally screwed up in my thinking here. What is so difficult here? A guy makes contact, you click on his name, his profile comes up. It contains all of his reviews wherein the dates, times, links to showcases / websites of the providers he's seen. Also, the activities he's participated in so that she gets a general idea of what he's into. The provider can also pull up his posting history to gauge his attitude / personality.

This in no way is meant to be the extent of screening, but it is a good first step. She should of course contact the references as well as the client and double check what info she has attained during the "initial" information gathering process, as well as getting info from the client regarding other sites (date check, p411), that the client uses to get more information about him.

The only instances that I can see where this wouldn't work is when a client has no review history or posts, if those providers in his history have reputations that she finds questionable, or in cases wherein the provider requires more stringent or detailed information. Again, maybe my thinking is way off here but it seems that this is being made more complicated than it actually is?

[Csmith85]

+1000!

I don't know how many time I have had to copy and paste from my reviews.

Originally Posted by Cleo

Maybe I am totally screwed up in my thinking here. What is so difficult here? A guy makes contact, you click on his name, his profile comes up. It contains all of his reviews wherein the dates, times, links to showcases / websites of the providers he's seen. Also, the activities he's participated in so that she gets a general idea of what he's into. The provider can also pull up his posting history to gauge his attitude / personality.

This in no way is meant to be the extent of screening, but it is a good first step. She should of course contact the references as well as the client and double check what info she has attained during the "initial" information gathering process, as well as getting info from the client regarding other sites (date check, p411), that the client uses to get more information about him.

The only instances that I can see where this wouldn't work is when a client has no review history or posts, if those providers in his history have reputations that she finds questionable, or in cases wherein the provider requires more stringent or detailed information. Again, maybe my thinking is way off here but it seems that this is being made more complicated than it actually is?

[cmore197474]

i agree with cleo... it isnt that difficult for a provider to look at our reviews to get our reference history...especially the okays on p411. the okays on p411 are given by providers...it would be redundent to ask them to re verify their own okay. you have the right to ask guys to provide all the the links and phone numbers.. but i would move on to other providers that can use my 21 p411 okays or my 28 reviews here to contact a reference.

[seductrix4u]

For me, if a guy has reviews within the past year with active, reputable providers, then I consider him legit. If he doesn't, then I go to the next level of screening which involves contacting verifiable providers and/or employment verification. We are all just trying to keep each other safe so if everyone will enter the dialogue in that spirit, then the extra effort is worth it!

[DallasRain]

Yes if a gent is reputable on here abd has couple recent reviews thn I will contact them...I try not to get too much into their RW life if they are respected n reputable on here

But if they are not then I ask for whatever info they can give me to ensure safety for our playdate.....
My motto is "if you can't trust Dallas with your info,who can you trust"...my reputation is well known so therefore a gent will know who I am and that I am and not somebody who does harm to anyone!

[Guest123017]

One's take on screening will always have many iterations and is very individual. Has always been that way.

All the points made here are valid but at the end of the day you have to do what you have to do to feel personally comfortable that you are making a decision that you will not regret and will hobby safely and discreetly - without those this is a recipe for disaster.

So do what you need to do for you - and those that don't like your particular 'process' to stay safe can simply choose to see someone else who screens more along their comfort zone.

[Unique_Carpenter]

Dee and Candice both nail it.
And for some of the guys comments above, do not the gals get date requests from non-eccie & non-p411 guys?
How else will a gal be comfortable about a date request?
Safety is paramount in this playground.

[Smoking Monkey]

Nevermind

[Lena Duvall]

Suzanna, you aren't asking too much in my opinion. When someone is inquiring with me and they provide as little information as possible, it does concern me. Also reviews are not references. Reviews are written with other clients in mind. Yes a savvy provider can make use of reviews to read between the lines and gain a sense of what a client may be like. But when a gent provides his references and I reach out to those ladies, the information I'm seeking for the purpose of centering my physical and emotional safety is not going to show up in a review that is catered to clients.

[Cleo]

Originally Posted by Unique_Carpenter

Dee and Candice both nail it.
And for some of the guys comments above, do not the gals get date requests from non-eccie & non-p411 guys?
How else will a gal be comfortable about a date request?
Safety is paramount in this playground.

You are 100% correct. They must do what they feel comfortable with. As we clients should. If a provider needs more than the reviews that I have taken the time to post, as well as my p411 "okays," then she must pass on me and I should seek another provider. There are guys who use multiple handles, I am not one of them. If she should find that I am, she should ignore me. But for those of us who do not do what Ms Monkey has eluded to, the screening/ legwork, is on the provider? Or is it my job to screen myself? I don't pretend to know the answer, but at this point, this is where I believe the complications may start?

[Cleo]

My bad. She changed her post. My sincerist apologies.

[Savannah Moon]

Suzanna..
You do what works for YOU.
As you gather more experience in this industry you will learn short cuts.
If I am screening someone and they become offended by my screening style..that is a sign to me (& I have learned to listen to my gut instincts.)
You are going to be alone in a room with a Man YOU have NEVER met before in your life.
It sure is easy for guys to lay out an easy path for screening.. But ultimately they will never know what we go through DAILY.
And I honestly would rather run into A LEO than a psychopath ANY DAY OF THE WEEK!!!
Stay Safe Ladies & Gentlemen
OXOXXX
Savannah Moon