My approach needs work

[finman56]

The ladies have given you great advice.

Having been back in the hobby for about 16 months after 14 year absence, I can say I always send a detailed pm, email, or email the ladies contact page of her website. After I have thoroughly researched her, and greeted politely, the included info is "name/handle", my general description, where I found them, the date, time, lenght of appt. I also like longer appts make a polite suggestion of what I would like during our time. always end with a sentence of I am looking forward to making your acquaintance.
Since I always book way in advance, I never text or call till they tell me it ok.

It works well for since I am always polite and respectful.

[Fancylady]

Originally Posted by Camille

Unfortunately, I think that could be correct.
If you are looking for extended packages - perhaps something bespoke - then send an email introducing yourself. Be clear (but polite) about what you are seeking (outcall/dinner date/and state the date and time) - but keep it to a paragraph in length (no variations of War and Peace). It's finding the line between being socially adroit and fun to spend time with...

Just chalk the prior attempts up to experience and draw a line under it...

Good advice making paid appointments.

[Lena Duvall]

Pretty much! Aliyah's response is on point. If your inquiry is concise and thorough and includes all pertinent information, your response rates will be higher.

Originally Posted by aliyahrose

You could just send the provider a single PM with your screening info and request.

Having that happen over 10 times seems very odd.

Piecemeal inquiries that require several messages back and forth to even have a sense of when, where, and for how long a gent is actually trying to meet is a classic warning sign of a time waster or fantasy booker. Even more so if screening/verification details are missing. Also, I'll add one more suggestion. It is clear that you are asking for some discounted/OTC time even if indirectly. Why? There are providers who offer cocktail or dinner dates at various points on the rate spectrum. There are so many providers who already incorporate significant multi hour discounts into their rate structure for 3 or 4 hour+ dates. There are also providers who explicitly state that they are flexible or open to negotiating for longer dates. Consider seeking them out rather than petitioning a provider to offer an exclusive to you special.

[Fancylady]

Everybody on the thread pretty much saying same thing and agreeing.

[TravelingGentleman]

Originally Posted by Lena Duvall

Pretty much! Aliyah's response is on point. If your inquiry is concise and thorough and includes all pertinent information, your response rates will be higher.

Piecemeal inquiries that require several messages back and forth to even have a sense of when, where, and for how long a gent is actually trying to meet is a classic warning sign of a time waster or fantasy booker. Even more so if screening/verification details are missing. Also, I'll add one more suggestion. It is clear that you are asking for some discounted/OTC time even if indirectly. Why? There are providers who offer cocktail or dinner dates at various points on the rate spectrum. There are so many providers who already incorporate significant multi hour discounts into their rate structure for 3 or 4 hour+ dates. There are also providers who explicitly state that they are flexible or open to negotiating for longer dates. Consider seeking them out rather than petitioning a provider to offer an exclusive to you special.

Your donation requirements are clear - a cocktail date is $700. I daresay that MOST providers don't provide anything beyond half hour, hour, or whatever SS is - which is where the RFQ comes from.

Professionally, an RFQ (Request for Quote) is an required part of any procurement process - even if one has been purchasing from the same supplier at the same price for years, a documented RFQ needs to be issued (since prices DO change), responded to with a quote, then have a purchase order issued against it.

I am not looking for discounted rates with providers - rather, I am looking to clarify unclear pricing for my specific desires, and following a typical route to utilizing a supplier.


By the way, SA Angel - you've been an absolute font of good advice for both my specific questions here. You've given me precisely what I was after. Many thanks!

[Lena Duvall]

^^^^^ After reading this post, I realize I may have somewhat misunderstood your initial post and had the impression that you were contacting folks who did have listed 2, 3, or 4 hour donations and still asking what their multi-hour specials were. (If that were the case, asking for rates that are clearly listed plus the outcall aspect might give off LE vibes.) Since the folks that you're considering don't have donations for longer sessions listed, I agree with SA Angel...

Originally Posted by SA Angel

You may also be selecting the wrong providers for the type of experience you want or they don't care to spend that much time with a single gent for their own reasons.

Perhaps also consider searching on Eros, P411, and the other national review board for companions who definitely cater to longer visits. As for a "request for quote," there are some business/negotiation practices that don't quite apply in the demimonde. Not because one is not allowed to ask what a companion's donation is, but because doing that has different implications in this context. Either way, there are lots of folks who clearly communicate their multi-hours donations.

[HoneyAngel]

Different stroke for different folk. As the saying goes. Every female will interpret what you said differently. As long as she knows. You are able and willing to pay for her time for the dinner date. What my be a concern she has in an out call to a hotel. As more provider these days are moving away from outcalls to hotels. She could pick you up and drive you over to her hotel. You will get the hang of it. If not you could see me. Then we could talk about this in person. The have our secret rendezvous. Looking Sexy in your avatar picture. Hugs, and Kisses!

[yankpunt]

Originally Posted by TravelingGentleman

For those few who know me, I'm legendary for my incompetent hobbying and "bad luck," and have been encouraged on ocassion to make a journal on here of my failed exploits to amuse people. After this weeks' legendary failures - which included accidentally convincing a provider to stop providing as a lifestyle - I WILL start that journal of public self-humiliation.

In the meantime, I need help with my approach, which is where most of my failures happen.

Out of 13 attempts this week, I've had one meet, two NCNS, and mostly after an initial text or two (no one seems to pick up the phone) - loss of communication. Here's my general format (texts)

TG: Hello! I'M TG. I'm inquiring into your availability for an appointment this evening / tomorrow. Do you have any open bookings?

Provider: Yes.

TG: May I inquire if you have any multi-hour specials, and do you outcall? I'm staying at a nice hotel with a hot tub and a fireplace in my room, and I would prefer that to another venue.

The conversation goes one of three routes here.

1. She asks if I'm a cop - to which I say, "No, but for your own safety, Google "Do cops have to say they are a cop?" They don't, it's a misnomer. Safety comes from screening and references.

2. I do outcalls, how long do you want to hang out?

3. I do not do outcalls.

From there, I usually ask for 2-4 hours, and tag on the additional question of if they will be treated to dinner if our appointment is happening near a time where someone might reasonably be hungry, and not want to spend their own money on food - especially fine dining.

At some point in this conversation, she says no, or she goes silent, or if I reinitiate the conversation an hour later to ask if she ruled me out, she re-asks how long, or says "Give me a minute" but then is permanently silent.

None will do dinner - not even an outcall, compensated, 5 star dining experience.

Help me out here. I would expect hit or miss on scheduling, but to continually cast a net and catch nothing is infuriating.

What is spooking people about that exchange?

Sounds like you have plenty of funds and so surprised you are having these issues, but a good question for anyone who is looking to step up their game and investment to bigger, better sessions.

- P411 or a similar service. For example, in the UK it is AdultWork. In Chicago it is RS2K. Sign up and do all your communication through there. Clearly explain what you are looking for, be it dinner...or in my case, high heels, bikinis and a generous slathering of baby oil.

- I'd say be pickier with your gals. My immediate impression is you were calling Backpage chicks who are more concerned with the quick score Again since you have the funds, look for the more attractive women that can put a clear sentence together on their profile. And of course, reviews will show pretty clearly who you can take out.

- When you call and engage in conversations that are of a type these ladies are not used to receiving, it doesn't necessarily impress them with with your intelligence and candor...sometimes it just raises red flags, justified or not. If I get any kind of red flag, I don't care how minor, I pass.

- Long conversations are also a waste of their time. They are getting tons of calls from time wasters. Messages are more efficient.

- The whole Google the cop thing response...that's belittling the woman you're talking to and a red flag. You're obviously smart. Not everyone is has the natural intelligence or the same education as you. Keep the superiority attitude in check.

- I usually don't go hunting for specials...I'll ask what the 2 hour rate is if not listed. I rarely negotiate. If too much, I politely decline and look elsewhere.

Variety is the spice of life my brother. Just simplify your communication and stick to quality ladies. This problem will disappear.

[TravelingGentleman]

Originally Posted by yankpunt

- I'd say be pickier with your gals. My immediate impression is you were calling Backpage chicks who are more concerned with the quick score Again since you have the funds, look for the more attractive women that can put a clear sentence together on their profile. And of course, reviews will show pretty clearly who you can take out.

Sadly, that week of horror was traveling in an area that didn't have any ECCIE presence. I don't have TER, and I let my P411 lapse...and while backpage is horror, I didn't have any choice. I would have saved a few grand just to stay in my hotel room and amuse myself. I guess I did have a choice; and picked the wrong one!

[seductivestorm]

I was reading this thread. I usually rarely comment but...
I for one and I know plenty of others who use Backpage because It's the top place for escort advertising currently.

I form sentences and can fit into any setting quite well. To assume that all ladies who are on Backpage are looking for quick money or are uneducated is very stereotypical.

I take the time to have professional pics, a professional website.I also do screening and consulting services for other ladies. I can assure you I am quite intelligent, mature,safe and not the run of the mill Backpage lady.

It's quite unfair to assume that if a lady is advertising on Backpage that she is of lower caliber than others. Most of us on Backpage use it as one venue to be seen.. not the only.

Storm
http://www.seductivestorm.com

http://stormassists.blogspot.com


http://www.stormspeaks.com

[Fancylady]

Originally Posted by seductivestorm

I was reading this thread. I usually rarely comment but...
I for one and I know plenty of others who use Backpage because It's the top place for escort advertising currently.

I form sentences and can fit into any setting quite well. To assume that all ladies who are on Backpage are looking for quick money or are uneducated is very stereotypical.

I take the time to have professional pics, a professional website.I also do screening and consulting services for other ladies. I can assure you I am quite intelligent, mature,safe and not the run of the mill Backpage lady.

It's quite unfair to assume that if a lady is advertising on Backpage that she is of lower caliber than others. Most of us on Backpage use it as one venue to be seen.. not the only.

Storm
http://www.seductivestorm.com

[URL="http://stormassists.blogspot.com"]http://stormassists.blogspot.com[/URL


http://www.stormspeaks.com

There's A lot of legit escorts on BP.Escort trashing other escorts.All level escorts cashing in.Business world don't see legit business trashing other business......Illegal Biz screening everybody's at risks

[TravelingGentleman]

So...I took all the pieces of the puzzle, put them together, and decided to give it another go. After reading this thread over in the national discussion forum, my curiosity was piqued, so I did my research, found what I thought would be a suitable provider for this type of massage, got her ad, rates, etc...re-read the thread here to make sure my approach was on target, and gave it a go.

*disclaimer* I found the provider on backpage, and research showed me she had reviews on TER...but this is in an area of the country with almost no ECCIE presence, and until I can get Vanessa Ink to go touring...gotta make do with what you have.

Monday Night
TG: Hello! I'm TravelingGentleman, an XX old Caucasian male that would like to book a two hour newbie massage tomorrow if you have any openings. I have references on both P411 and ECCIE under this name.

Tuesday Morning
Provider: Hello.

Tuesday Mid-Morning
TG: Hello there! Apologies for the late text last night. I'd been making an inquiry into an appointment with you. This discussion made me look you up: http://eccie.net/showthread.php?t=1830664

Provider: Huh? I don't do website link so whatever it is you're trying to sell them in? Please go sell it to somebody else. I don't want to join your p*** site, I don't need to advertise with you. Please take me off your mailing list.

Tuesday Afternoon

TG: Erm...I don't have a mailing list. I was responding to your ad for massage services, inquiring after your availability for a massage, explaining that I'm a newbie to this type of massage, and I shared a link to the discussion about such massages that made me look you up in the first place. Apologies for the confusion.

TG: In the link that you're not looking at, someone asked what a prostate massage was; the ensuing discussion made me curious, and I found your ad.

Provider: So what is it that you want? To come over and get pegged

TG: Uh..not as newbie friendly as I was hoping. You advertised a massage - I was hoping for a massage and a conversation/introduction. Pegging sounds so...violent.

Provider: Sweetheart, are you aware of what sending links could possibly do to my electronics? I'm not going to open the link you sent me, it has nothing to do with me being newbie friendly, I don't want a virus on my phone. You can call me directly and we can speak, and we can talk about it. But I'm not going to open up your link, so I have no idea exactly what it is you're talking about

Provider: Honey you're obviously not text Savvy, I do apologize honey, it has nothing to do with my ability to work with first-timers, it has to do with how you're contacting me. Legitimately, I'm not opening any links. I do apologize

TG: Would you prefer that I call? I generally don't call providers prior to appointment arrangements so that I don't interrupt anything.

Provider: Look honey, I'm not your common provider. I am what's called a hobbyist, I do this simply because I can come up because it's more fun for me than it is for you. As much as you seem to want this, I truly do believe, that you would be more prone to visit somebody who could accommodate you are special needs. With all due respect in my sincerest apologies, and if you cannot meet my simple criteria, I cannot help you. Have a wonderful day honey, and I do hope so that you find what you're looking for but really, we're just not a good fit. This is just something I do in my spare time for fun, this is not my whole entire life.

TG: Hey now, I'm the hobbyist! I'm curious to try something new, but don't want to get hurt. I inquired after a massage and you countered with a strap on!

Provider: No you sent me a link, a link of which I refuse to open, because I don't want to download a virus onto my phone period again, you could have called me on the phone, and we could have very easily had a conversation. Therefore sir, again, I really don't know what else it is that you want from me?
This whole conversation has just become confusing to me, because clearly you're talking about something, that I didn't even read it? I'm not going to open up that late, my apologies again, clearly you're not as tech-savvy as I am, that's why I came at you if I don't want to join your website. Honey I don't do drugs, I don't smoke cigarettes, I don't have any vices. I own my own home, and my car is paid off. I do this for fun, I'm a hobbyist, my whole self being, my food, or my habit does not depend on whether or not you come and tribute to me. The way you speak to me, leads me to believe that you do this more often than you'd care to admit. I am an educated military retiree. You are not for me, and I am not for you.

TG: Ma'am, let me start over again, with the same message, minus a link.

TG: Hello! I'm TG. After reading about an interesting massage technique online, I did some research and found your ad for massage services. I'd like to inquire into your appointment availability and screening requirements.

Provider: I don't understand that? Because I've never even looked at your link? So I don't even understand what it is exactly that you're even asking me for

TG: Message received - stay safe and happy hobbying. I'll inquire elsewhere.

Provider: That would be gratefully appreciated it, I've told you twice that I would really rather that you did that. Clearly we are on two completely different wavelengths, I cater to a certain kind of man, clearly that's not you


FUCK MY LIFE.

[Vanessa Ink]

Stay in Positive thoughts
Keep It Simple
What you visualize you materialize
Sometimes it takes just meeting to really know chemistry or not, as in all matters of such, but stay in a good mind-set expecting a wonderful session-
When you go into inquiring about another provider with the mind set "oh no, here we go again" that doesn't set the mood well
Sometimes it takes experiencing a few providers that doesn't click well with you to really appreciate a provider you do mesh well with is my personal opinion

Thanks for your PM & looking forward to meeting you SOON

[Bikerjoe337]

Just my 2 cents and may not be the best approach, but on initial contact I keep it as short as possible and once the session is taking place and everyone feels comfortable, then I inquire about other topics paying attention to body language and reactions. I am still relatively new but I have yet to be turned down by a provider. Only once did I have a provider just drop off, but she has a history of this and I know and understand why. so I will just be patient and respectful and will eventually enjoy her. If I decide to see a provider a second or multiple times then if I have other questions or services that I am unsure of, I simply pm them that I would like to call and speak to them. If that's not an option due to her being a BP only provider then I just expect the same service as before. I do my best to steer clear of BP just because I prefer knowing a little about the provider in question. I am still learning as well and appreciate the thread and responses from the ladies. And yes let's get Vanessa touring!

[Blair Love]

Exactly what all the other girls said! I love extended dates also (coming to Nola anytime soon?)