My approach needs work

[TravelingGentleman]

For those few who know me, I'm legendary for my incompetent hobbying and "bad luck," and have been encouraged on ocassion to make a journal on here of my failed exploits to amuse people. After this weeks' legendary failures - which included accidentally convincing a provider to stop providing as a lifestyle - I WILL start that journal of public self-humiliation.

In the meantime, I need help with my approach, which is where most of my failures happen.

Out of 13 attempts this week, I've had one meet, two NCNS, and mostly after an initial text or two (no one seems to pick up the phone) - loss of communication. Here's my general format (texts)

TG: Hello! I'M TG. I'm inquiring into your availability for an appointment this evening / tomorrow. Do you have any open bookings?

Provider: Yes.

TG: May I inquire if you have any multi-hour specials, and do you outcall? I'm staying at a nice hotel with a hot tub and a fireplace in my room, and I would prefer that to another venue.

The conversation goes one of three routes here.

1. She asks if I'm a cop - to which I say, "No, but for your own safety, Google "Do cops have to say they are a cop?" They don't, it's a misnomer. Safety comes from screening and references.

2. I do outcalls, how long do you want to hang out?

3. I do not do outcalls.

From there, I usually ask for 2-4 hours, and tag on the additional question of if they will be treated to dinner if our appointment is happening near a time where someone might reasonably be hungry, and not want to spend their own money on food - especially fine dining.

At some point in this conversation, she says no, or she goes silent, or if I reinitiate the conversation an hour later to ask if she ruled me out, she re-asks how long, or says "Give me a minute" but then is permanently silent.

None will do dinner - not even an outcall, compensated, 5 star dining experience.

Help me out here. I would expect hit or miss on scheduling, but to continually cast a net and catch nothing is infuriating.

What is spooking people about that exchange?

[Guest050817-1]

You could just send the provider a single PM with your screening info and request.

Having that happen over 10 times seems very odd.

[Guest050817-1]

Posted twice

[shambala]

Sounds like you go into too much info in your messages. Keep it short & sweet. "Hi, I'd like to schedule 2 hrs with you."

If you feel the need to tell them about googling cops, do after you meet. I'd say during after sex chit chat when getting dressed & she is leaving.

Maybe do more homework. Many providers state whether they do incalls / outcalls or both, so you don't need to ask them if they do, just tell them you want outcall. (You don't need to tell them why... because I have room w/ fireplace, etc).

Again, doing homework - some providers offer "Dinner Dates" on their menu of services.

Hope I was able to help you with some useful information. Good luck!

[shambala]

Oh, and I'm probably not what you're looking for, but if you are in the area, you can take me out for a 5 star dining experience.

[SA Angel]

I think you would have better luck putting your desired time range, length of outcall, the fact that part of that scheduled time will be spend dining, and screening info in a single PM or email and sending that.

Too many of the women around here are used to hobbyist asking to go out to eat off the clock that they may assume that is what you are looking for.

If a woman posts her phone number she is getting many text messages and generally they may feel the more a potential client texts without being specific about a time, the more likely they are just trying to waste her time.

You may also be selecting the wrong providers for the type of experience you want or they don't care to spend that much time with a single gent for their own reasons.

Here's an example of a successful email/PM:

Hello _________,

(insert greeting) (insert compliment) I would like to book a four hour dinner date outcall to a upscale hotel in (insert area of town). I would like to start the appointment between (insert specific time range).

My references are (insert references). I'm a (insert physical description) and my phone number is (insert hobby phone). Thank you for your time and I hope to hear from you soon.

Regards,

RandomHobbyistName

[TravelingGentleman]

SA Angel, that's very good advice, and precisely what I need to do. Thanks much.

One more question - I read another thread that I liked, which discussed booking a one hour session, and requesting to extend if you have chemistry. I *really* like this idea - hiring someone for a multi-hour session where I end up disappointed because our personalities aren't a good fit leaves me frustrated. I want the social interaction up front as a screening process - I have learned repeatedly that if a provider is passive (I'm timid and very passive) we won't mix well.

Give me an approach where I can communicate that I prefer multi-hour sessions, but that I'd like to book a one hour meet and greet with an option to extend if she is free and we are ... compatible.

I had a multi-hour session this week where 4 hours in we were still chatting, she seemed to really like me waxing on poetically about her beauty, and when we finally started fooling around, she started sobbing, told me that she hated what she did, was disgusted with herself, that I was too nice, and that I had convinced her that she deserved a better life. I would never ask for a refund, and I'm such a soft bitch that I gave her more to try helping her change her life.

But I hate having been in that situation, and I need to screen providers. More advice is welcome.

[TravelingGentleman]

Originally Posted by shambala

Oh, and I'm probably not what you're looking for, but if you are in the area, you can take me out for a 5 star dining experience.

*laughing* I have taken hobbyists out before, specifically to solicit advice for professional development. Hobby development? I unfortunately dined alone last night, so I invited another table to join my table so I could pick up their check, in exchange for their story. I enjoy hearing about people and their lives.

I felt awkward, so I started out with, "Fellas, I'm not gay, but I haven't done anything nice for anyone yet today, so I wanted to offer for you to join my table and I'll pick up your tab."

[Alana kay]

While I appreciate the texts I ALWAYS ask for a pm for verification..with 2 RECENT refs. I do check...but everyone has there own screening process. But the conversation style that u approach the situation with sounds great to me...but it may be different reasons. The timing may be off or honestly honestly maybe providers have been stood up so much in the past for multi hour appts providers feel like its taking a chance! I have just read so much stuff and experienced my own fails...but good luck to you!

[Alana kay]

Originally Posted by SA Angel

I think you would have better luck putting your desired time range, length of outcall, the fact that part of that scheduled time will be spend dining, and screening info in a single PM or email and sending that.

Too many of the women around here are used to hobbyist asking to go out to eat off the clock that they may assume that is what you are looking for.

If a woman posts her phone number she is getting many text messages and generally they may feel the more a potential client texts without being specific about a time, the more likely they are just trying to waste her time.

You may also be selecting the wrong providers for the type of experience you want or they don't care to spend that much time with a single gent for their own reasons.

Here's an example of a successful email/PM:

Angel your def like an angel...you always say what I am thinking

[TravelingGentleman]

It was just pointed out to me that specials are not the same as multi-hour packages (like a dinner date), but that specials are instead last ditch attempts to get money to pay for bills when business isn't steady - thus asking about multi-hour specials to a provider who isn't desperate is probably causing many to avoid me as a cheapskate.

If that's the case, I've potentially been offending providers since I started hobbying. I have always had poor rate of return on my initial communications....if I have been sounding like a cheap deal shopper looking for a discount all this time instead of a gentleman looking for more than a 30-60 minute encounter, I am mortified.

Good heavens!

[shambala]

Originally Posted by TravelingGentleman

...I invited another table to join my table so I could pick up their check, in exchange for their story. I enjoy hearing about people and their lives.

"...I haven't done anything nice for anyone yet today, so I wanted to offer for you to join my table and I'll pick up your tab."

That's nice. A true Gentleman. Kudos to you.

[Camille]

Originally Posted by TravelingGentleman

It was just pointed out to me that specials are not the same as multi-hour packages (like a dinner date), but that specials are instead last ditch attempts to get money to pay for bills when business isn't steady - thus asking about multi-hour specials to a provider who isn't desperate is probably causing many to avoid me as a cheapskate.

If that's the case, I've potentially been offending providers since I started hobbying. I have always had poor rate of return on my initial communications....if I have been sounding like a cheap deal shopper looking for a discount all this time instead of a gentleman looking for more than a 30-60 minute encounter, I am mortified.

Good heavens!

Unfortunately, I think that could be correct.
If you are looking for extended packages - perhaps something bespoke - then send an email introducing yourself. Be clear (but polite) about what you are seeking (outcall/dinner date/and state the date and time) - but keep it to a paragraph in length (no variations of War and Peace). It's finding the line between being socially adroit and fun to spend time with...

Just chalk the prior attempts up to experience and draw a line under it...

[SA Angel]

Originally Posted by Alana kay

Angel your def like an angel...you always say what I am thinking

Thank you. I've enjoyed seeing your lovely self beautify the boards. You are gorgeous.

Originally Posted by TravelingGentleman

SA Angel, that's very good advice, and precisely what I need to do. Thanks much.

You are very welcome.

Originally Posted by TravelingGentleman

I want the social interaction up front as a screening process - I have learned repeatedly that if a provider is passive (I'm timid and very passive) we won't mix well.

Give me an approach where I can communicate that I prefer multi-hour sessions, but that I'd like to book a one hour meet and greet with an option to extend if she is free and we are ... compatible.

Then I suggest you make that clear. Instead of asking for four hours tell her that you want a hour of company for dinner with the option to extend your time longer.

"I'd like for you to meet me for dinner and I'll have your one hour rate ready to hand you discreetly when you arrive. Before the hour is up if I feel that our personalities are a good match I'll ask you to keep me company for the remainder of the evening and give you the donation for (another three hours/the difference between your one hour and dinner date rates) at that time as well."

If you do this you MUST screen your intended companion THOROUGHLY. You don't want to hand your cash to woman who will just leave immediately after she gets your money. Further screening will also answer any question about if she has a dinner date package or not.

[Simply Alisha]

Originally Posted by SA Angel

I think you would have better luck putting your desired time range, length of outcall, the fact that part of that scheduled time will be spend dining, and screening info in a single PM or email and sending that.

Too many of the women around here are used to hobbyist asking to go out to eat off the clock that they may assume that is what you are looking for.

If a woman posts her phone number she is getting many text messages and generally they may feel the more a potential client texts without being specific about a time, the more likely they are just trying to waste her time.

You may also be selecting the wrong providers for the type of experience you want or they don't care to spend that much time with a single gent for their own reasons.

Here's an example of a successful email/PM:

You are dead on, darling.

Please, send as much info as you can at one time, in a PM. It shows you're serious, and exactly what you're wanting.

The back and forth of texting runs me nuts!....especially if it's someone I've never met. It's just too much time/energy invested to run into a dead end.

And I love extended dates

Alisha...xoxo