The Truthful Parrot

[Guest123018]

A man and his girlfriend walk into a store.
The store owner owns a parrot w/a truthful mouth.
The parrot says to the couple who had just walked in
"your girlfriend is ugly as hell"
The man and his girlfriend continue walking around
the store and pass by the parrot again and the parrot
says
"your girlfriend is ugly as hell"
The man says to the store owner you need to do something
about your parrot. The store owner apologizes to the couple
and tells the couple 'it won't happen again'
The man and his girlfriend are finally done in the store
and are heading out and slowly passes the parrot one last time
and the parrot says
"aint nothing changed"

[python54]

Originally Posted by Seeking ~P

A man and his girlfriend walk into a store.
The store owner owns a parrot w/a truthful mouth.
The parrot says to the couple who had just walked in
"your girlfriend is ugly as hell"
The man and his girlfriend continue walking around
the store and pass by the parrot again and the parrot
says
"your girlfriend is ugly as hell"
The man says to the store owner you need to do something
about your parrot. The store owner apologizes to the couple
and tells the couple 'it won't happen again'
The man and his girlfriend are finally done in the store
and are heading out and slowly passes the parrot one last time
and the parrot says
"aint nothing changed"

Good one! How about another?

A postal carrier is working on a new beat. He comes to a garden gate marked BEWARE OF THE PARROT! He looks down the garden and, sure enough, there's a parrot sitting on its perch. He has a little chuckle to himself at the sign and the parrot there on its perch. The mailman opens the gate and walks into the garden. He gets as far as the parrot's perch, when suddenly, it calls out: "REX, ATTACK!"

[Panama Grey]

Not "new" but might be worth a repeat...

A burglar sneaking through a mansion at night.
He hears, "Jesus is watching you!"
He stops, looks around with his penlight, and spots a parrot.
Burglar: "Did you just say that?"
Parrot: "Jesus is watching you!"
Thinks about it for a minute, chuckles, and says,
"Is that your name? Are you 'Jesus'?"
Parrot: "No, my name is Clarence"
Burglar: "Clarence? [laughs] Who names a parrot 'Clarence'???"
Parrot: "Same people who named their rottweiler 'Jesus'"


PG

[reenakaur]

Its really so nice post and I enjoy a lot.

[silverstar]

A magician was working on a cruise ship.

Since the audience was different each week, the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick.

Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" Or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the Captain's parrot.

Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank.
The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... With the parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.

This went on for a day... And then 2 days. And then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said...
"Okay, I give up. Where's the fucking ship??"

[Italia DiBella]

All cute jokes