Reviews: He said, she said.....

[Old-T]

This is exactly why I send my draft reviews to the ladies before I post them. I will never add something just because a lady wants it in there, but I do want to avoid putting things into a review that do fall in the category of "not on the standard menu". Or something that would inadvertently disclose something about their real life that I did not realize.

There was a lady I knew fairly well a number of years ago. Her roommate/doubles partner/lover did such an over and above kindness for a guy who wrote her a glowing review and trying to help her mentioned everything that happened. Shortly thereafter a different guy saw her, demanded the same treatment, and when she said it was not on the menu, he beat her to death. At his trial the killer said, "She had it coming because she disrespected him." Sadly, the consequences of indiscretion can be mush worse than we think about at moment we write a review. I do not ever wish to be the reason for something like that happening to any woman.

[myfavhobby]

Our hobby is a business transaction, but many business transactions sometimes have “something extra” added when the two parties to the transaction have good feelings about each other. Think about the waitress that gives the diner a free dessert because the diner has been respectful.

In the situations where I feel that a provider has given me something extra, for whatever reason, I exclude that something from my reviews. That is to say, I only mention in my review activities that are already public knowledge. This approach allows a review to be posted without triggering any of the concerns that JayceeRivers has written about.

[papadee]

Originally Posted by JayceeRivers

I most certainly and whole heartedly respect that! It would never expect any less even from the most refined gentlemen. My thought behind the words were more complicated then I expressed. The idea behind it was more....

Perchance the lady does not publicly offer a certain service. She does not place it on any public menu nor advertise this. Yet she meets a gentleman that physically is not... too intimidating, his method is gentle and kind and she just happens to be in that rare mood. After all, despite this being a business, it is a personal and very intimate business. She should not be beholden or required to place this item on her menu. Then the kind gentleman that (for whatever reason be it fate or behavior) earned this extra service should not be denied on the fear alone that it might show up in a review and force her to repeat it over and over with another that may not quite be as gentle or as physically unintimidating.

Now if she advertises and places the item on the menu I highly expect her to offer it to all. (or most rather depending on circumstance) If she is not willing to fulfil her contractional side of the arrangement it is only respectful to return the gentleman's investment.

You see where the water gets muddy? Consider it from the positive side instead of the negative. If you arrived an idea gentleman. You have gone above and beyond and I want you to feel special. I want to go above and beyond for YOU! Not the guy who barely met the basic criteria, but you, the gentleman that went out of his way to take a transaction into a romantic engagement. Should I suffer the consequences of you stating to the world you received this extra thank you? In the end what does that serve to do? It trains the providers to do no extra's and stick with the basics and trains the gentlemen to meet the bare line of the criteria.

Again I respect your thoughts and I believe whole heartedly that it is important to understand that the gentleman is the one investing a very important asset into this arrangement. I would never diminish this generosity.

Just keep in mind, it is a circle. You gentlemen treat a lady a certain way and she will then adhere in a way that keeps her safe. This in turn causes her to treat a gentleman in a certain way and he will amend in a way that keeps his investment safe. The circle continues over and over.

Instead of discouraging the ENTIRE review, why not tell the client that it was a special gift for HIM, and ask him not to mention it in the review? If he's the special gentleman you say he is, I'd think he's respect your wishes.

And to your first post, how many providers get to/have read their reviews? I know it happens, and I know they don't have direct access, but do providers only care to read when they get a negative one? Or do they like to/try to read them all?

[JayceeRivers]

Originally Posted by papadee

Instead of discouraging the ENTIRE review, why not tell the client that it was a special gift for HIM, and ask him not to mention it in the review? If he's the special gentleman you say he is, I'd think he's respect your wishes.

And to your first post, how many providers get to/have read their reviews? I know it happens, and I know they don't have direct access, but do providers only care to read when they get a negative one? Or do they like to/try to read them all?

That is very good advice papadee, and I already employ this method personally. I have offered the advice I did in part because the OP seemed to take a strong stance against the review. I had hoped to offer two sides to the coin and give her optional idea's to consider.

As for reading all the reviews. I read only the ones that are sent to me by the writer in full. I do not have the men's room access. I would read either (with permission from the writer). Positive or negative a review allows you to self analyze. Discover where you may be failing, understand how you are/were perceived. This does not mean I particularly like them. I approach them as a necessary evil. Important overall but one of those things you cringe and bare, good or bad.

In the past negative reviews allowed me to notice that I seem to do subpar with certain types of gentlemen. However, I did a sublime "job" with another type of gentleman. It helped my screening process. By avoiding that certain type and recommending other ladies for the requesters evening I was able to avoid two people having a unpleasant evening. Instead two people enjoy themselves and if all went very well maybe even four! That does not stop me from asking, on occasion, how I could step up my service or make a night more memorable or enjoyable. Reading positive reviews helped me to discover what actions/idea's were expected and what took the evening from good to amazing.

[Jon[s]]

I mainly check out reviews for services. Most women won't discuss services, and sites like p411 have banned them. I'm all for seeing one or two ladies repeatedly than seeing 50 all the time, but what if I were to meet you, suggest we do Y but no decline saying you only do X? I could have saved myself some money, let alone not waste BOTh of our times if I would have read a review of what kind of service I could expect you to offer (or you listing it on your website but that's obvious).

Besides the fact not all reviews are favorable and I use them in my decision as well.

Still, I use to right reviews until a provider who I was a repeat client of asked me not to. That was a request made after our first encounter. I honored that request and eventually stopped righting them period.

So from a provider point of view, I can see where you are coming from.

[gimme_that]

If I saw a lady who had a no revew policy I would respect that..........but she better be spectacular in sesson and in no way mediocre or so so. If I wanted to see her again Id abide by her rule.

No as far as extra offered services not on her reviews and website.......that ymmv. Would put ymmv f the allowed me to......or if they wouldn't want it posted II just smply wouldn't. Any guy labelng hmself as a gentleman that would post that somethng extra isnt a gentleman......


But let's not lose sght of one thng...........some ladies can be bait and switch with ther offered servce. Reavew renforce norms of what most guys will expect.

You know before new ladies have regulars.......they have to see new clent.......most of whch majorty wse won't repeat since most crave variety.

When a lady has a stable set of regulars.......she won't need to post ads often or at all..

The original poster is still postng ads. So reviews see to be a necessary evil for her.

[Majichands]

No no no no..
IF THEY have been on years and have zero post zero reviews those are the ones I am scared of.
TO EACH HIS OWN..
but when I visit a city and I visit many as soon as a review goes up I get calls from the board.. other than that I have to rely on BP business
I ABSOLUTELY hate it when a review goes up after I have left the town already..lol

I DO UNDERSTAND what the OP is saying if I was a full service provider it would kind of make me edgy but the ROS can only be seen by verified members right!?
& for shits and giggles I would post on the coed discussion every time a review hit I would post a link to the review and say the poster forgot to mention the trip to the moon the 3 some with Madonna And the million dollar shopping spree. Then I would post the video of this song http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qDc_5zpBj7s
That way it would throw le off and everyone else you can screen who asks questions and pm those who comment on the post a little safer that way to me..,

[Guest072918]

Because of the anonymity of the hobby, reviews are a critical part of screening. I use reviews to see if I think a lady and I would be compatible. To me, activities and experience are much more important than looks. Think of reviews as the best form of advertising.

When I have a good experience with a lady (which I almost always do), I ask her if I can write a review and point out that I write detailed reviews. I want the guys that read my reviews to think: OMFG I have GOT to see this woman as soon as I can. But, when a lady says, don't mention this activity, I of course honor that. And, if she doesn't want a review at all, I of course honor that as well. I recently saw a HDH that is looking to retire in a year, and she does not want any more reviews. I of course honored that. Pity that I couldn't write a review, it was one of the better sessions I've had in the hobby.

So, ladies, if you don't want reviews, just let us gentlemen know and we will honor your request. But, expect that some of us will avoid you, just because we have little idea how wonderful you really are.

[Keyhole Arc Blow]

Originally Posted by Old-T

This is exactly why I send my draft reviews to the ladies before I post them. I will never add something just because a lady wants it in there, but I do want to avoid putting things into a review that do fall in the category of "not on the standard menu". Or something that would inadvertently disclose something about their real life that I did not realize.

There was a lady I knew fairly well a number of years ago. Her roommate/doubles partner/lover did such an over and above kindness for a guy who wrote her a glowing review and trying to help her mentioned everything that happened. Shortly thereafter a different guy saw her, demanded the same treatment, and when she said it was not on the menu, he beat her to death. At his trial the killer said, "She had it coming because she disrespected him." Sadly, the consequences of indiscretion can be mush worse than we think about at moment we write a review. I do not ever wish to be the reason for something like that happening to any woman.

I experienced something very similar. I saw a provider a few times, so of course we were comfortable with eachother and I got special treatment and we did some stuff that was a bit rough. I stupidly included those activities in a review but with the caveat that activities were at her discretion. Another hobbyist saw the review and asked her if he could do the same activities. When he showed up he basically overpowered her and raped her bareback.

Before that incident I've sent a copy of my reviews to ladies a few times just in case they wanted me to change anything, but now I do it every time just to be safe.

Ladies remember it's not against the rules to have reviews about you sent to you by the reviewer.