Screening

[MaxiMilyen]

Gents...Why do you submit to it, and does it make a difference in who you might or might not see?

If you wouldn't, why wouldn't you?

Ladies, do you require it, despite any financial difficulties, or would you risk your life?

I see a trend and am curious why some behave as if this is an issue when trying to schedule an appointment.

If I were a gent, red flags would fly if a lady said, "I'm available. Here's the address. Come on over, hon." That saying about "anything that easy", comes to mind. ijs

[jwood]

Only had to send 1 provider references and she never contacted them.

[watchoutthegameisrigged]

I don't see providers that I don't perceive screen well. Period.

[Zhivago52]

It is an awkward process, hence why P411 is a good investment. In addition, seeing a regular ATF and her circle of friends makes it very simple.

[MaxiMilyen]

Originally Posted by jwood

Only had to send 1 provider references and she never contacted them.

Really?

Reputable provider?

She been around a while?

How do ya know she didn't?

Why'd ya see her?

Questions. I always have tons of questions. Annoying to some, but if ya wanna know something, does it really hurt to ask? See? Another question.

LOL

Umm....ya do realize you have a cpl of reviews and that maybe if she has been around for a few, she may know which ladies do and which ladies don't screen. Maybe you even saw someone she does/did doubles with. Not only that, but if a gent has no reports in another little data base, he may or may not know about, and after posting quite a few reviews on reputable ladies, this could also be an indicator, he ain't gonna mess up his good thing at this point? There are all kind of screening methods.

The point is, if there is nothing available to a lady, other than....I'm a great guy, I was a member before and I used this name, and honest engine.... really I am the best, there's absolutely gonna be an issue getting you screened if you really want to see someone reputable and safe. Not anyone's fault, but most have to go through the process. Not everyone is honest John, as much as I or any lady would love to believe. I'm not suggesting any gent would be dishonest in order to get what he wants, honest engine, I'm not. LOL

(yes, I know the saying was "Honest Indian" and not honest engine....I'm practicing my PC skills....LOL)

Edit: Maybe another reason ladies might wanna consider brushing up on their screening:
It Can and Does Happen!

[jwood]

Really? Yes both ladies I used told me she never contacted them.

Reputable Provider? Turns out she wasn't.

She been around awhile? Nope

How do ya know she didn't? Already stated

Why'd you see her? Where I live there's not a lot of ladies.


I understand your point. I should have gone into more detail. I was on aspd at the end. I've been on p411 over 6 yrs. Over this time period I have only physically given 1 provider references. By that I mean giving her their email address. I've only been asked once. I do understand how others screen me. Probably the same way you did.

[HMFICDICK]

The naturals,
They can talk to you or txt you and KNOW if you are ok.
LEO will never get past them.
The normals,
They use all of the other screening methods to check you out.

Bottom line.
Guys.
Dont think that they are singling you out to mess with. They are just
being cautious.
Give them a break. Go with the screening, you may find a real GEM.

[James1588]

Originally Posted by MaxiMilyen

Gents...Why do you submit to it, and does it make a difference in who you might or might not see?

If you wouldn't, why wouldn't you?

Ladies, do you require it, despite any financial difficulties, or would you risk your life?

I see a trend and am curious why some behave as if this is an issue when trying to schedule an appointment.

If I were a gent, red flags would fly if a lady said, "I'm available. Here's the address. Come on over, hon." That saying about "anything that easy", comes to mind. ijs

I see ladies whose online personae (meaning, really, the way they write) suggest that they're intelligent and honorable people. So, their screening practices don't really influence my thinking, since I won't really know anything about those practices until I ask to book some time. (And maybe not even then.)

To the first few ladies that I saw in my demimonde career, I pre-emptively volunteered all my real-life information in the same email in which I requested an appointment. This seemed like a good way to demonstrate that I was actually serious about doing some business, with a minimum of time-wasting back-and-forth. Then I joined P411 when I received that invitation (like many, I'm sure, I "bit" on that six-months-free offer). Since then, the few additional ladies I've seen haven't really wanted any screening information; my P411 okays make it easy for them to contact the ladies I've already seen.

Why "submit" to screening? Because it's obviously necessary and reasonable. If a woman who has never even met me is contemplating locking a door with just she and I behind it and engaging in intimacy, she needs some confidence that I'm not Mr. Rapey-Robby Murderous Maniac. The least I can do is provide all the raw material for that confidence that I can. I'm asking her to trust me with a lot -- her self, really -- so the least I can do is trust her with a little (my real-life information). It's true that I take a certain amount of risk in sharing my information with someone who could possibly decide to out me. But if I stay away from those who aren't smart enough to write standard English, my risk becomes vanishingly small, as I see it.

[rothers]

I'll admit that giving any RW info makes me nervous and I rarely do it. Does that mean I limit myself to shadier characters? Maybe, but it hasn't worked out that way so far.

For me, the fear is not that the girl will out me but that she will be caught with my information. How do I know how long and where she keeps this info? If she's busted will she be found with a little book that has me in it?

Here in Maine there was a famous case a couple of years ago of a Zumba studio that was a front for a brothel. The lady was a real piece of work so maybe she's not the perfect example (she videoed customers), but when she was busted she bargained for her liberty with names & addresses of her clients. A lot of it was published in the local papers.

[MaxiMilyen]

Originally Posted by HMFICDICK

The naturals,
They can talk to you or txt you and KNOW if you are ok.
LEO will never get past them.
The normals,
They use all of the other screening methods to check you out.

Bottom line.
Guys.
Dont think that they are singling you out to mess with. They are just
being cautious.
Give them a break. Go with the screening, you may find a real GEM.

Thank you for a powerful phrase! "The Naturals", are ladies who trust their gut or intuition. I often tell others, "I can tell within the first sentence of being contacted, if I will be compatible with a gent or if we both will feel comfortable with one another." A couple of times, I got distracted with my personal stuff (My own life), so no compatibility, but the safety part was ok.

I'm not saying there has been a never ending attraction with every gent I have seen, but at least a friendly, playful and comfortable time has been spent with each one. So yes....intuition is IMPORTANT when scheduling with gents. Following through with procedures of safety checks, simply verifies my instincts, and is the double check I find necessary to ensure not only my own safety, but that of any gentleman I might see.

Geez.....I do both. I suppose I'm Naturally normal. Ewwww.....normal I definitely ain't, nor is it something I strive to be. I tried once, to be normal, but normal to me means "Stepford Wife" types, followers, or those who don't take the time or have the inclination to think about anything for themselves. I am not normal, by any stretch of the imagination....LOL For that.....I am grateful, even if it does irk some of the men who participate here. LOL

Originally Posted by James1588

I see ladies whose online personae (meaning, really, the way they write) suggest that they're intelligent and honorable people. So, their screening practices don't really influence my thinking, since I won't really know anything about those practices until I ask to book some time. (And maybe not even then.)

To the first few ladies that I saw in my demimonde career, I pre-emptively volunteered all my real-life information in the same email in which I requested an appointment. This seemed like a good way to demonstrate that I was actually serious about doing some business, with a minimum of time-wasting back-and-forth. Then I joined P411 when I received that invitation (like many, I'm sure, I "bit" on that six-months-free offer). Since then, the few additional ladies I've seen haven't really wanted any screening information; my P411 okays make it easy for them to contact the ladies I've already seen.

Why "submit" to screening? Because it's obviously necessary and reasonable. If a woman who has never even met me is contemplating locking a door with just she and I behind it and engaging in intimacy, she needs some confidence that I'm not Mr. Rapey-Robby Murderous Maniac. The least I can do is provide all the raw material for that confidence that I can. I'm asking her to trust me with a lot -- her self, really -- so the least I can do is trust her with a little (my real-life information). It's true that I take a certain amount of risk in sharing my information with someone who could possibly decide to out me. But if I stay away from those who aren't smart enough to write standard English, my risk becomes vanishingly small, as I see it.

Thanks for sharing, hon. I agree.....especially, with the last sentence.



Seems to me, All gentlemen are afforded the opportunity to "screen" the ladies in their own way and before reaching out to make an appointment. Each gent has their own set of criteria. For some, a single factor or maybe just several superficial factors, is all they require. A pic, location, or the simple convenience (right now), is all they find necessary or care about. For others it is more in depth and there are many factors they consider.

The former are "convenient warm wet hole seekers" who barely seem to view us as legitimate or fellow human beings, much less intelligent, sensitive individuals who are capable of doing many things, other than laying on our backs or sitting by the phone waiting for them to call.

The latter of these gents are "Hobbyists", as I perceive a hobbyist was meant. A gentleman who actually does his research, is at least not totally vulgar as most perceive vulgar to be and when contacting the ladies. He wants a mutually beneficial and pleasant experience, and prefers both parties are amenable to the same desires and inclinations, whatever they may be. It's possible and it happens, because he seeks something that's not quite so impersonal as the former.

Research and screening are the greatest tools available for anyone wishing to participate in the hobby. I experienced doing a last minute, instinct only, on two occasions, and you can bet your buttons, it was as nerve wracking as anything I've experienced, despite my trust of my own intuition. Never again. ijs Life throws us too many distractions to only trust one source for this activity, even if it has proven reliable in the past. Maybe don't get too comfortable or lax, as there is no one thing that is fool proof, or even the only way to be as safe as you feel necessary.

If a lady gives you the opportunity to see her with no questions asked. She does the same for every gent who may contact her. Apparently she has considered her decision and is not as cautious as those of us who are. It's not a judgment, it just is. It's your decision to be reckless and ya don't have to get back with any lady who has turned ya down or asked for something that would assure her safety and then share just how reckless you are, as that is only a clear indication you are not concerned about her own need to feel safe. Money does not out weigh the risk of losing or altering life and limb. Safety and discretion are the MOST important element one should consider before the meeting takes place. Hobby safely, so more can.

[Luvs2Purrr]

Screening can be frustrating at times. Let me explain....

I have a screening form listed on my website. I make sure that my posts state that "Screening is a Must"! On my showcase it also states about screening. Flat out, if you don't screen with me...I don't see you.

But I'll receive PM's...."Are you available?"...."How much for an hour"...."Where is your incall"...etc. I have listed everything you need to know on my website and pretty much everything on my showcase. But when I mention, "check out my website" or "I need to gather your screening info before I book a visit with you". Some gents just don't bother or reply back. And you would think if they are on this site that generally EVERY PROVIDER SCREENS. So, why not go ahead and send your basic info in a introduction PM from the very beginning?

Would make things for the Provider and for the Gent a lot easier to book a visit and to have a much pleasant visit with the lady you chose to see.

We aren't walking the streets picking up you guys. We are in a much safer place and should be easier and safer to make a much happier experience.

[James1588]

Originally Posted by MaxiMilyen

...

The latter of these gents are "Hobbyists", as I perceive a hobbyist was meant. ...

Here's a great example of what I'm talking about. Here's someone who spells "hobbyist" correctly. Not one person in ten, here in the demimonde, is able to do this.

I'll bet Max knows the difference between "discreet" and "discrete," too, and uses each in its correct place ... also uncommon in this world. I'll do a little more gambling and wager that Max distinguishes correctly between "dominate" and "dominant."

I think I'm in love. If I didn't live about 1300 miles away, I'd have certainly asked for an appointment before now. And my request would've included every single bit of my RW data. In fact, Max, I'll send you that stuff anyway, if you want it.

[MaxiMilyen]

Originally Posted by rothers

I'll admit that giving any RW info makes me nervous and I rarely do it. Does that mean I limit myself to shadier characters? Maybe, but it hasn't worked out that way so far.

For me, the fear is not that the girl will out me but that she will be caught with my information. How do I know how long and where she keeps this info? If she's busted will she be found with a little book that has me in it?

Here in Maine there was a famous case a couple of years ago of a Zumba studio that was a front for a brothel. The lady was a real piece of work so maybe she's not the perfect example (she videoed customers), but when she was busted she bargained for her liberty with names & addresses of her clients. A lot of it was published in the local papers.

Hey....I totally get that. My stance: I am no Heidi Fleiss wannabe. I clean my stuff up and keep no records. If a gent needs a reference somewhere down the road, has no P411 and hasn't kept in touch, I'm probably not going to be the best person to give him one. Not because he wasn't a nice guy or I don't want to, but because I am a social butterfly type, have met tons of people in my lifetime, and am horrible at making an effort to remember names, (why make an effort to remember 'em, if they ain't gonna hang around or at least play at being interested in me as a person?) I'm genuinely nice and interested in my friends, but only as long as they are me too. Not my job or intent to give refs. I'm only obligated to the ladies concerning refs, so.... If ya want or need one....do what ya gotta do in order to ensure I can give it when ya need it. For screening, first name, number you use to contact, age and race should be enough to trigger a lady's memory. If she asks for more, such as email, then I ask for that too.

Others may require more info, and may keep all kinda records or none at all. I really couldn't vouch how other ladies handle this. Safety and Discretion are equal and the first order of all of this and as far as I am concerned. Some gents understand and have a need for this, others take risks, maybe for the unknown outcome, risk of danger.....I dunno? If ya have a great job, family, and need to protect them, then maybe it should be a priority. Find ladies who have no obvious history of behaviors you prefer to avoid. Much like us, ya gotta learn to trust your instincts/intuition concerning such if you don't already, along with research. Unfortunately, both sexes have the potential to get off track, and fail to do their due diligence, when it comes to play of this nature at times.

Newbies.....sorry, if ya want to see a lady as newbie, ya might just have to jump through a hoop or two. Especially, a reputable provider. Obviously, if you can find no info concerning her outing others, she doesn't operate that way. Ask her if she keeps info before giving it in good fatih.

We need a newbie pkg to send out to new members on making their choices and decisions.....LOL ijs Something along the lines of: Here are your risks, Here are theirs, Do some research and hobby safe! You are the only one responsible for the decision you make, just as in any other community.

[Becca Blossoms]

This can be looked at another way, us providers "submit" to screening as well. Not all of us do it, not all of us do it well. This is an issue or personal responsibility and choice. I choose to screen well and to only see guys who choose to be screened. I also choose to not keep records, I have no reason to keep your personal info around anywhere. I screen because I want to be safe and only see safe gentlemen. I have a lot to live for and people who love me and need me. I love my life and have no plans to change it or leave it anytime soon.

If a gentlemen doesn't want to be screened or use some unsafe screening method such as meeting in public and showing me his driver's license, I simply don't see him. Period. It's not personal, it's necessary. I've been in the hobby almost 10 years and have never been beaten, raped, robbed, etc. Hygiene and poor attitudes are the worst I've experienced. I credit screening for that...and pure luck.

[Flirtatousfemalefan]

Dear Rebecca:
If you were to give a workshop on screening were would you begin? What are the most important elements of information that you can have? What parts of the process do you value more than others? How are your relationships with other providers in terms of getting information and how much depth do you go with respect to your interrogation of providers? Finally how much credence do you give to verification sites and how much of a role does it play within the process?