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Old 06-17-2015, 09:46 AM   #31
Ginger Doll
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At least it wasn't an SBD!
SBD?
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Old 06-17-2015, 10:16 AM   #32
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Silent But Deadly!
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Old 06-17-2015, 10:19 AM   #33
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Silent But Deadly!
Haha!! Well guys, I hate to break it to you… but providers are human and they do fart, just like everyone else. That is not an admission of any kind. I plead the fifth.
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Old 06-17-2015, 10:22 AM   #34
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Totally understood. Wasn't grossed out, just caught off guard and both of us laughed our asses off!
Keeps some reality in the fantasy!
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Old 06-17-2015, 10:25 AM   #35
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For the record Ginger, there is no possible way I could fathom that amazing ass of yours offending anyone! Ever!
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Old 06-17-2015, 10:39 AM   #36
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Totally understood. Wasn't grossed out, just caught off guard and both of us laughed our asses off!
Keeps some reality in the fantasy!
I guess you could look at it from a positive angle… It's impossible to be nervous or anxious during a date if everyone is laughing about a little bit of accidental air. Icebreaker! Lol

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For the record Ginger, there is no possible way I could fathom that amazing ass of yours offending anyone! Ever!
My amazing ass farts, too. I just do my best to save it for when there isn't an audience. Lol. Thanks babe.
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Old 06-17-2015, 11:14 AM   #37
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Old 06-17-2015, 11:54 AM   #38
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Haha!! Well guys, I hate to break it to you… but providers are human and they do fart, just like everyone else. That is not an admission of any kind. I plead the filth.

fixed
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Old 06-17-2015, 11:54 AM   #39
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Back on topic.
My worst date ever occurred in NLR at an apartment complex of which the provider was supposedly the manager. I think it must have been "the hood" of NLR and I don't know until this day why I ever chose to go there. Well, sometimes we listen to the wrong head. After traveling 2 1/2 hours to meet a ECCIE provider in LR, I was unable to get an answer when I called for location. After trying several times over a couple of hours, a horny state of mind caused me to look on backpage and I saw a post by a provider who I'd noticed being on ECCIE, so I thought she would be okay. Big Mistake!! She did answer phone and told me to come on right then, not bothering to even ask who I was. That should have told me something, but the little head was in control. So I followed her directions to the location and had doubts about leaving my vehicle unattended, but little head still in control. As I walked up stairs to her apartment, what seemed like a large pack of dogs began barking and I wondered if they intended to attack when the door was opened. Fortunately, she called them down and led me thru one room to another where the deed was to be done after I placed the donation in a bowl on a table as directed. She closed the door between the rooms with only one of the pack of dogs being allowed to enter, that one being identified as "Baby". The others of the pack were left to bark and scratch the door the whole 10-12 minutes I was there. After seeing the dirty, dingy mattress on the floor, I declined to undress and chose to sit in a chair that didn't have stuff piled up in it like everything else in the room. So I unzipped, whipped it out and told her all I wanted was a bbbj. No problem. About the time the little head came to full attention, "Baby" began puking on the mattress I would have been lying on if not for allowing the big head to at least make that decision. So she said "Oh, Baby must be sick" and I was thinking Lonesome is about to be sick too. Thankfully, the big head took over and I told her to see about the dog while I zipped up and got out of there pronto. I managed to make it thru the first room without a full attack by the dog pack and was very relieved when I stepped outside to see my vehicle was still there with all four tires still on it and stereo still in the dash. I hastily drove to a service station restroom to drown the little head in alcohol with hopes of getting him too drunk to make any more decisions that day.
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Old 06-17-2015, 11:59 AM   #40
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Omg Lonesome, what a story!!!

And sadly, I'm pretty sure I think I know who you are referring to. LOL
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Old 06-17-2015, 06:42 PM   #41
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Old 06-17-2015, 09:01 PM   #42
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I think Lonesome wins the "prize" so far. Wow! And not in a good way. I would have never made it that far.
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Old 06-17-2015, 09:16 PM   #43
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Can't really describe my worse date ever because he's a member of this site and gets pretty touchy and in his feelings about things. So my 2nd worse date:

A simple FBSM ending with a handy, well everything was alright nothing too weird or anything. Then he comes the handy. Instead of cuming the guy shot out bright red blood from his dick. It got all over my boobs, my HOTEL bed, and my hands. I thought I killed the man! He just shrugged it off like it wasn't nothing and grabbed his dick like a water hose to try to stop the heavy flow of blood. He said "Sometimes that happens" all I could think was that he needed to go see a doctor because blood ain't suppose to flow out of dick like that.

To make things worse, he gets up and goes into the bathroom and uses the clean WHITE towels to clean himself up. Then jumped in the shower. I was horrified! I washed up in the sink best I could, waited for him to leave, then I bolted. The room looked like a murder scene from Law & Order. Blood everywhere!

So lucky the room wasn't in my real name or real information. I never went back to that hotel out of fear that they would have my photo behind the desk or something.
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Old 06-17-2015, 09:26 PM   #44
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damn. i'd like something to come out my dick again but not that. jesus mb. somebody needs to write a book or a blog.
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Old 06-17-2015, 09:37 PM   #45
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OMG! We may have a tie.
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