Family Secrets Revealed

[Toyz]

The secret family of Toyz

I really didn’t want to do this.Its always been a family secret and one we aren’t too proud of.But based on some previous episodes from my younger (adopted) siblings its time to set the record straight.Also, as its their BIRTHDAY (Yes, they were born on Pearl Harbor Day…imagine what a BOMB and Day of Infamy it was to see these too pop outta dat vagina!)

I am speaking of the twins.Cinnamonshark & Fun2Come.No, we are not blood relatives. (This is a shock to both of them as we raised them as a part of the family & never treated them any differently-they are hearing this for the first time right now).But the fact remains we adopted them from a Romanian orphanage when they were infants where they had been left by a local batshit crazy Hoogar.We provided them with food, clothing and shelter.Afforded them opportunities for education, fronted for their early business failures, and made up for their disastorous career, lifestyle & life choices.

That said, we love them as a family & I love them today as brothers although they have grown up to be very unappreciative of the special treatment they have been given.

CinnamonShark & Fun2Come were actually born Biff & Baff.As cajoined twins joined at the anus, their childhoods were obviously unique.Since they both shit through their mouths & stunk something fierce, Mom was always sprinkling cinnamon on Biff to keep the stink down.But he still smelled like a rotten fish so I nicknamed him “CinnamonShark”…that along with the hump on his back that resembles a fin, you can then see why the nickname is appropriate…even today.


Biff (CinnamonShark) on the left, Baff (Fun2Come) on the right


Now I loved Biff & Baff-I do. But sometimes they run their shitholes when no one even jerked their chains to get attention, and they need to be spanked.
when they were little and prior to being housebroken (which only recently occurred in 2013), I would take them on walks in the park on their leash, show them off to my friends.I even dressed them up for Halloween & took them trick or treating.They loved to dress up as a two headed spider and scurry about the street scaring the neighbors! IT WAS SO CUTE! They would hiss but then that shit breath smell would hit and people would go screaming into the night. They loved to have me sing them lullabyes at night.Their favorite was “Itsy Bitsy Spider crawled up the water spout”….


Late in their teen years (past legal age per board rules) They kept getting caught performing fellatio on each other.When I asked Baff why he liked sucking off his brother (NQNS BTW) he merely said “Its fun to cum”!The nickname stuck.Mom really tried to stop this scary trend, even going so far as to wash their mouths with soap.I always thought it was punishment back then, but as time went on I realize their breath both smelled like sour semen and she was just trying to knock back the stench a bit.


My parents finally sprung to have them severed though operation even though we couldn’t keep their mouths off each others cocks (which sadly goes on even today).

Their career choices were a bit odd I thought but again as a loving family we supported our little red headed step spiders..Biff, after his decision to be Bi-sexual, decided to embrace the fishing industry. Baff went off to fight for Der Faderland (even though he was Bulgarian by birth, he always like german Omp-pa bands so joined the Reich where he picked up a second nickname “Fun2Shit”.





Lots of time has passed.Biff & Baff are relatively happy old dudes now, even though their breath still smells like a Hoogars trash can.

Now you know the truth. And my little step spiders will launch some lame ass responses, but I'll let our story speak on its own merits. When you see them in public now, take a bit of pity...and be sure to not inhale.

I fondly remember Biff always saying "Be nice, or"...and I would always finish it for him "Be nice or....go fuck yourself Biff"

[knotty man]

Umm. D day is the 6th of june.
Dec. 7th is pearl harbor day.
You might wanna know your siblings birthdays

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by knotty man

Umm. D day is the 6th of june.
Dec. 7th is pearl harbor day.
You might wanna know your siblings birthdays

Hmmmm...that's the date it gave on the bill of sale, er...birth certificates.

[cinnamonshark]

Well.....it's funny you mentioned this, Toyz. Because today IS/WAS my birthday. But you missed F2C's by a long shot! Well, anyway, fuck you very much for the the birthday wishes. Now, back to what you were doing. What was it? Oh yeah practicing your "Leetle Heen Cawk" speech....

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by cinnamonshark

Well.....it's funny you mentioned this, Toyz. Because today IS/WAS my birthday. But you missed F2C's by a long shot! Well, anyway, fuck you very much for the the birthday wishes. Now, back to what you were doing. What was it? Oh yeah practicing your "Leetle Heen Cawk" speech....

Happy Birthday Biff!!

Mom says be sure to brush your teeth~

(think I didn't know it was your birthday? Think about it for a second...its not a coincidence)

[cinnamonshark]

Originally Posted by Miss Valentina

I would be wary poking fun at Toyz Mr. Shark.

The last hombre who did found himself shanghai'd to Romania and woke to find himself being sodomized by a syphilitic priest in a Bucharest dungeon.

Just passing along the info...

Originally Posted by cinnamonshark

So, what happens to Toyz when he pokes fun of people? Oh, I know...Gruß vom Krampus! And I hope he gets his behind paddled, thoroughly.....

Krampus and Toyz.jpg

[rockerrick]

Isn't that brush your teefs?

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by rockerrick

Isn't that brush your teefs?

Teefs or Toofs. In Biffs case its now TOOF....

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by cinnamonshark

As his holiness Monger Jesus taught us, Piss not into the wind lest ye want to be wettened....

[Guest010218]

Normally, most families don't air this sheeet in public. But thank you Toyz for showing the courage needed to allow others on the board see the challenges for which your family has struggled over all of these years.

It is only a miracle, that these two have turned out as well as they have; otherwise, they could be complete.... Well, not being one to spread tales out of school...

For some strange reason, I find this thread very funny and I am experiencing the strange urge to bump it to the top of Coed. This thread should never die.

[Toyz]

Thank you BB! Was home with the crud all weekend so had a bit of free time.

I'll update everyone on the family as necessary. Who knows what other dark secrets may come forth in the days weeks and months to come?

[fun2come]

Long Live Biff and Baff !!!!

THX Bubba Toyz for finally telling the truth !!!!