Time: 0800, November 5th, 2014
Location: Fort Campbell, KY
The campaign workers show up the day after a close election.
"Can you believe that McConnell only lost by 523 votes?"
"Not yet he hasn't, we still have to count the absentee ballots from the 101st."
"Yeah, but the military will go for the republican like they always do."
"How many do we have to count? If its less that 523 then we'll be out of here early and the election will be over.
"Looks like about 3,000 ballots and most of them came from Western Africa."
"Well, lets get started, we can be out of here by 4 PM."
A man in a expensive suit comes in the door and flashes his ID too quick to see.
"I'm....special agent Jones from the CDC. Have you started counting the absentee ballots yet?"
"We're just getting started, excuse me but why does that concern you?"
"Ebola!"
"What ebola?"
"Each of those absentee ballots has an envelope with a flap that was licked by a servicemen serving in Africa. They could have transferred ebola to the flap and now it's here....in this office."
"So what do we do. We have to count them and McConnell will win the election then."
"Sorry, but they have to be burned immediately....without being opened."
"But their votes won't count, the wrong person will win the election."
"I can't help that. I'll take these and burn them properly."
Stranger leaves with all the absentee ballots.
"What do we do now?"
"I guess we call Louisburg and tell them that we have no absentee ballots to count and Lundergran-Grimes wins the election by default."
Outside, the stranger puts the box of ballots in the trunk of a large, black SUV and climbs into the back seat. Valerie Jarrett is waiting and she asks, "did it work?"
"Like a fucking charm. I love it when a plan comes together."
The SUV drives off with the bumper sticker showing.
Operation: Limp dick
