He's Saying "I love you"...

[Jewish Lawyer]

Originally Posted by Zhivago52

JL: Greatness. Only problem I see is you can't find good Tex-Mex in remote parts of Utah. Outside of that, I've seen interviews with "sister-wives" in such arrangements and they like it. Many had been in prior marriages. The shared responsibilities, more time to do things, have a career, etc. One guy had 7 wives and 3 of them knew they were there for sex.

Thank you - maybe when Amazon gets their drone delivery program going, they can deliver hot Mexican food from your favorite place to your compound in Utah for you and your wives to enjoy!

[Jewish Lawyer]

Originally Posted by Carolina Girl Holly

Lmfao: I love you, love your sense of humor, I can't stop laughing, got tears in my eye....your wife needs to come around lmao

Yes, she does need to come around. Any suggestions?

[greenpeace2014]

Originally Posted by Jewish Lawyer

There is actually another solution that no one here has seriously considered. I've tried to convince my wife it is a good idea, but she hasn't bought into either, yet.
Guys should convert to Mormonism along with their wife. Then, marry all the hookers you like. How is one wife going to complain (too much) if you take another wife to South Beach? After all, she's your fucking wife!
I've fallen in love with several girls I've seen in the hobby, and I'm sure they realize it. However, I haven't said anything to them about it because my wife is not a very open minded person when it comes to sharing the family's material and emotional spoils. I've told her that the oldest wife has a substantial place in Mormonism, but she just looks at me like I'm an asshole, and doesn't speak to me for a couple of days...which I manage to overcome, somehow...

As a Jewish lawyer, you should be well aware of the high standards set for scriptural debates in Judaism! Get your theology right! The LDS Church [ Mormonism is a non-term!] officially renounced polygamy just before Utah received Statehood in 1890, I believe. Today, only certain rebellious sects NOT part of the LDS Church continue with the practice. You cannot be LDS, cannot have a "temple recommend" and be a polygamist, i.e. be married within the Church, which is a very, very, very serious issue for the LDS faithful. However, I am told that there are interesting exceptions yet, but how this is managed, is a mystery.

BTW, the LDS are the new Zion, a new and improved version of you-know-what, perhaps even of "jewish lawyers"? No coffee, though, no tea, no cola. Still want to convert?

[greenpeace2014]

Originally Posted by Slim.

Thanks everyone, you all had somd really great advoce. I really like the idea of getting coffee amd resetting boundaries. I think it is also important for me to admit my faults in not being more clear about what I was comfortable with and saying "we'll see" instead of "no" when the idea of living together came up.

I do feel empathetic toward his situation and did not want to just write him off as crazy but rather a lonely man who wants to be loved. Maybe I should help him set up a ptofile on a dating site instead...seems like this business is not for him!

You wrote later that he cannot respect ladies who are providers or who have been providers. I find that attitude confining, to say the least, on his part. Anyone should be judges purely on his/her own merits as an individuals because humans are so surprising, like snowflakes and cats! Full of character and contrariness.

If he had been a more open person, given that his marriage was definitely ending, not about to end, I should have asked you this: was there a chance that you could have found him someone that would have suited him? Perhaps a friend of yours in the business or out of it, someone whose needs and personality jibed with his needs and personality? I am speaking about marriage, not a being a mistress or sugarbaby. That demonstrates commitment.

I am incredibly stupid. You are welcome to add infinitely spicier adjectives. But I always hope that there are wonderful people on this earth, who are kind and loving and who will meet kind and loving people and live happily ever after. I have seen a great deal in my life that is the precise opposite, so I must keep this hope alive.

The cynic and the "tough" find it hard going when they meet up with the really hard ones, which is is not infrequently. So, why not allow the gentler side in you a chance, even at some potential cost? Not necessarily this man, who did not prove to be really sincere, but perhaps someone in the future. People can fall in love and can commit with their whole beings, can they not? They might not be the ones you fancied, be riddled with faults, but still?

[Lena Duvall]

I second Solitaire's suggestions. In my opinion, him asserting that he "loves you" is just a thinly veiled way of him manipulating you into providing free emotional and intimate labor. He's already seen you time and time before (and knows full well what your donations are). But now, all of a sudden he's speculating on how if you two were dating, he wants to be able to be sexual with you whenever AND as often as he wants to. (How convenient for him!)

He's already crossing boundaries in a way that's very questionable. I could see how some providers would cut him off at this point. If you were to meet with him again IN PUBLIC and explain to him that he is crossing boundaries, that would actually be very gracious on your part. Also, if you are suggesting other providers to him (which you don't NEED to do) and you are acting as a reference for him, please do be straightforward with them and let them know that concerns did come up with him crossing boundaries.

[thebuffmantraples]

Originally Posted by Solitaire

You are his companion (that word has a temporary connotation), not his girlfriend, and not his babysitter. Your investment in this exchange begins and ends with the exact amount of time he has paid for. period.

Part of your job description is to set boundaries, and it is his role and proper place to respect them. I know his words and mannerisms create awkward moments for you, but to tell him things like "we'll see" and respond positively when he talks about moving in together is VERY misleading. I would rethink those responses if I were you.

I can only tell you how I would handle this situation. I'd invite him to coffee in a public place, I would never have this type of conversation in private as many men in this condition can get emotionally manipulative or even violent. I'd pay for it (very important!). I'd tell him that I feel uncomfortable with some recent discussions and just wanted to reset some boundaries and make sure we have an understanding based on reality. I would re-iterate the things he said and provide the responses that should have been said in the first place (reminding him that this is temporary, fantasy, etc) and apologize for not being clearer. I would suggest that he see other ladies and even make some suggestions. Then, I'd cut off all further communications completely, or he will just continue the delusion, and the drama will certainly escalate

That's my two cents, love
Wish you the best in this

I truey woo wov u!

[CS25]

Slim...sounds like the romantic feelings/one-sided relationship ended okay enough though I would predict he will still want to see you. Now that he has stated he is considering other ladies to get that satisfaction that is only attained by consenting adults, you will need to make a choice: allow yourself to schedule him as a client OR not schedule him anymore.

Unfortunately, as you being his first "girlfriend" (in his eyes) he will want to come back to visit and talk, be "friends" if you will, get counsel, yada, yada....and I don't know if you have given thought to going down that road. You will of course charge for your time. At worst it could result in discussions where he gets angry at his situation (home or another provider) and he expresses that in front of you making it uncomfortable. He also might get upset if he ever assumes you would offer your advice for free as a real girlfriend in the RW would.

And at the very least, he will take up a lot of time to help him sort through his emotions and that may be time you don't want to invest or have time to invest. But it certainly is up to you.

The good news is, however, that the worst appears to be over. Good luck...