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Old 08-18-2014, 09:07 PM   #1
BottomFeederKC
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Default What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

Exhibit A:

http://kc.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts...py-20/14238027

Hmmm...

I'm skeptical for some reason.

But why so paranoid, you ask?

I mean, she only has 5+ Provider handles (Jessica Lynn, Paris Dior, Bunny, Naomi, Kayla, <insert name here>), 4+ advertised ages (ranging between 18 and 21 - and seems to indicate some sort of time-travel powers), 3+ phone numbers, and various ads posted in 5+ states ( TX, KS, MO, NE, OK, NV ). She also has a disabled ECCIE account and is currently Outcall-only. To her credit, she does have multiple (mediocre) reviews from ECCIE members whom I am unfamiliar with. All of this in less than ~2 years.

Seems legit.

What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

Fuck it. I'm calling her now.


http://kc.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/14238027

http://kc.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/9277743

http://kc.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/9775031

http://adultsearch.com/nebraska/omah...escorts/403715

http://wichita.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/6089179

http://www.eccie.net/search.php?searchid=29459186



Feelin' lucky are ya? Step right up and place your bets on the outcome:

I will...

A. Be pistol-whipped by a less-than-handsome pimp in a red fedora.
B. Be cuffed and stuffed. "Protect and Serve", etc.
C. Be married to her by noon tomorrow. We will be registered at Wal-Mart. Moving back with mom to Reno. Making some babies next.
D. Receive a text stating "My car broke-down and my sister is in jail, so...I can't make the appointment. And I lost my cell phone and forgot to tell you. Then I got sick and then fell asleep. Who are you again? Can you still buy me some cigarettes? Hey look - a baby deer."
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Old 08-18-2014, 09:10 PM   #2
Wizard of Ahhhhs
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BottomFeederKC View Post
Seems legit.

What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

Fuck it. I'm calling her now.
Will be interesting to read BFKC's review from Central Booking.... Wonder what his #1 "Con" will be...?
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Old 08-18-2014, 09:34 PM   #3
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Oh BottomFeederKC, in her defense it does look like the 4th picture in the Nebraska ad she tried to photo shop all the body pics together. I am sure she wanted all of her aliases to be represented in one pic. And remember she GAURANTEES (how she spelled it) it's her!! I am sure she is on the up and up! * Wink Wink*

Emmie
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Old 08-18-2014, 09:44 PM   #4
BottomFeederKC
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"GAURANTEES". I love it when that word get misspelled. It's a classic, really. Fucking cherry on top. Thank you, Emmie.

I will personally give anyone a crisp $100 bill if they can produce an ad with her and the (2) following criteria: 1) A photo of her posed near a hotel toilet and 2) The words "Classy" or "Upscale" in the ad copy.
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Old 08-18-2014, 10:20 PM   #5
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First: Bedazzled strip club locker room. Awesome.

Second: From the Wichita ad:

Quote:
And did I mention I'm cut as hell!!!
"Cut" as in female bodybuilder.... or "Cut (e)" as in don't need no book learnin' ?

So.... TOFT, BF?
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Old 08-18-2014, 10:56 PM   #6
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I saw her today. Will write a review as soon as I make bail
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Old 08-19-2014, 12:28 AM   #7
BottomFeederKC
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"And did I mention I'm cut as hell!!!"

I thought she meant "cut to hell". Odds now leaning towards...

A. Be pistol-whipped by a less-than-handsome pimp in a red fedora.


Bedazzled strip club locker room. Totally awesome indeed, zeejoe. Stripper selfies do turn me on, actually. I will admit it. The girl knows how to work the camera. Butt and hips are permanently popped-out, too. Ain't nothing wrong with that. Odds now leaning back towards...

C. Be married to her by noon tomorrow. We will be registered at Wal-Mart. Moving back with mom to Reno. Making some babies next.
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Old 08-19-2014, 08:39 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mizzou82 View Post
I saw her today. Will write a review as soon as I make bail
We'll begin p!assing the collection plate. Congrats on the visit. We'll wait with baited breath for that jail cell review.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BottomFeederKC View Post
Be married to her by noon tomorrow. We will be registered at Wal-Mart. Moving back with mom to Reno. Making some babies next.
You'll make a fine babydaddy, BFKC! Send us pictures of the birth!

Someone seriously find out if this young lass ticks....
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Old 08-19-2014, 09:15 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wizard of Ahhhhs View Post
We'll begin p!assing the collection plate. Congrats on the visit. We'll wait with baited breath for that jail cell review.You'll make a fine babydaddy, BFKC! Send us pictures of the birth!

Someone seriously find out if this young lass ticks....
Not sure about pics of the birth, but pics of the conception would be nifty
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Old 08-19-2014, 10:15 AM   #10
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She does have it goin' on in a stripper-hot white-trashy sorta way....

Even money the guy with the red fedora has a mullet and no shirt.

Did a little legwork for you, BF, if you don't want to stay with her mom:
https://www.google.com/#q=reno+nv+trailer+park&safe=off
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Old 08-19-2014, 10:24 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BottomFeederKC View Post
Moving back with mom to Reno.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zeejoe View Post
Did a little legwork for you, BF, if you don't want to stay with her mom
Lemme know if her mom is doable... It's been 40 years since I popped a mom in a trailer park...
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Old 08-19-2014, 10:29 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wizard of Ahhhhs View Post
Lemme know if her mom is doable... It's been 40 years since I popped a mom in a trailer park...

Sex or fistfight? No offense... it's a trailer park, so just sayin'....
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Old 08-19-2014, 04:57 PM   #13
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Well if you do make it to the slammer...your handle will certainly be appropriate...Bottomfeeder
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