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BottomFeederKC · 08-18-2014, 09:07 PM

Exhibit A:

http://kc.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts...py-20/14238027

Hmmm...

I'm skeptical for some reason.

But why so paranoid, you ask?

I mean, she only has 5+ Provider handles (Jessica Lynn, Paris Dior, Bunny, Naomi, Kayla, <insert name here>), 4+ advertised ages (ranging between 18 and 21 - and seems to indicate some sort of time-travel powers), 3+ phone numbers, and various ads posted in 5+ states ( TX, KS, MO, NE, OK, NV ). She also has a disabled ECCIE account and is currently Outcall-only. To her credit, she does have multiple (mediocre) reviews from ECCIE members whom I am unfamiliar with. All of this in less than ~2 years.

Seems legit.

What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

Fuck it. I'm calling her now.

http://kc.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/14238027

http://kc.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/9277743

http://kc.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/9775031

http://adultsearch.com/nebraska/omah...escorts/403715

http://wichita.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/6089179

http://www.eccie.net/search.php?searchid=29459186

Feelin' lucky are ya? Step right up and place your bets on the outcome:

I will...

A. Be pistol-whipped by a less-than-handsome pimp in a red fedora.
B. Be cuffed and stuffed. "Protect and Serve", etc.
C. Be married to her by noon tomorrow. We will be registered at Wal-Mart. Moving back with mom to Reno. Making some babies next.
D. Receive a text stating "My car broke-down and my sister is in jail, so...I can't make the appointment. And I lost my cell phone and forgot to tell you. Then I got sick and then fell asleep. Who are you again? Can you still buy me some cigarettes? Hey look - a baby deer."

Wizard of Ahhhhs · 08-18-2014, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BottomFeederKC

Seems legit.

What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

Fuck it. I'm calling her now.

Will be interesting to read BFKC's review from Central Booking.... Wonder what his #1 "Con" will be...?

Emmie · 08-18-2014, 09:34 PM

Oh BottomFeederKC, in her defense it does look like the 4th picture in the Nebraska ad she tried to photo shop all the body pics together. I am sure she wanted all of her aliases to be represented in one pic. And remember she GAURANTEES (how she spelled it) it's her!! I am sure she is on the up and up! * Wink Wink*

Emmie

BottomFeederKC · 08-18-2014, 09:44 PM

"GAURANTEES". I love it when that word get misspelled. It's a classic, really. Fucking cherry on top. Thank you, Emmie.

I will personally give anyone a crisp $100 bill if they can produce an ad with her and the (2) following criteria: 1) A photo of her posed near a hotel toilet and 2) The words "Classy" or "Upscale" in the ad copy.

zeejoe · 08-18-2014, 10:20 PM

First: Bedazzled strip club locker room. Awesome.

Second: From the Wichita ad:

Quote:

And did I mention I'm cut as hell!!!

"Cut" as in female bodybuilder.... or "Cut (e)" as in don't need no book learnin' ?

So.... TOFT, BF?

Mizzou82 · 08-18-2014, 10:56 PM

I saw her today. Will write a review as soon as I make bail

BottomFeederKC · 08-19-2014, 12:28 AM

"And did I mention I'm cut as hell!!!"

I thought she meant "cut to hell". Odds now leaning towards...

A. Be pistol-whipped by a less-than-handsome pimp in a red fedora.

Bedazzled strip club locker room. Totally awesome indeed, zeejoe. Stripper selfies do turn me on, actually. I will admit it. The girl knows how to work the camera. Butt and hips are permanently popped-out, too. Ain't nothing wrong with that. Odds now leaning back towards...

C. Be married to her by noon tomorrow. We will be registered at Wal-Mart. Moving back with mom to Reno. Making some babies next.

Wizard of Ahhhhs · 08-19-2014, 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mizzou82

I saw her today. Will write a review as soon as I make bail

We'll begin p!assing the collection plate. Congrats on the visit. We'll wait with baited breath for that jail cell review.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BottomFeederKC

Be married to her by noon tomorrow. We will be registered at Wal-Mart. Moving back with mom to Reno. Making some babies next.

You'll make a fine babydaddy, BFKC! Send us pictures of the birth!

Someone seriously find out if this young lass ticks....

SinsOfTheFlesh · 08-19-2014, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wizard of Ahhhhs

We'll begin p!assing the collection plate. Congrats on the visit. We'll wait with baited breath for that jail cell review.You'll make a fine babydaddy, BFKC! Send us pictures of the birth!

Someone seriously find out if this young lass ticks....

Not sure about pics of the birth, but pics of the conception would be nifty

zeejoe · 08-19-2014, 10:15 AM

She does have it goin' on in a stripper-hot white-trashy sorta way....

Even money the guy with the red fedora has a mullet and no shirt.

Did a little legwork for you, BF, if you don't want to stay with her mom:
https://www.google.com/#q=reno+nv+trailer+park&safe=off

Wizard of Ahhhhs · 08-19-2014, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BottomFeederKC

Moving back with mom to Reno.

Quote:

Originally Posted by zeejoe

Did a little legwork for you, BF, if you don't want to stay with her mom

Lemme know if her mom is doable... It's been 40 years since I popped a mom in a trailer park...

zeejoe · 08-19-2014, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wizard of Ahhhhs

Lemme know if her mom is doable... It's been 40 years since I popped a mom in a trailer park...

Sex or fistfight? No offense... it's a trailer park, so just sayin'....

BigDeal · 08-19-2014, 04:57 PM

Well if you do make it to the slammer...your handle will certainly be appropriate...Bottomfeeder