Intense D/s Play

[DallasRain]

well Deviant,I hope I get a good reception there when I visit...lol


I was raised REAL southern Baptist.......if you wore shorts even as a child,that was shameful! I am considered the black sheep in my family! baaaaaaaaaaaa!! Baaaaa!! lol

[lovesbustyblondes]

Originally Posted by DallasRain

well Deviant,I hope I get a good reception there when I visit...lol


I was raised REAL southern Baptist.......if you wore shorts even as a child,that was shameful! I am considered the black sheep in my family! baaaaaaaaaaaa!! Baaaaa!! lol

@DallasRain

Every family needs a good black sheep and like I say, it's better to PROVE to them you're still a black sheep incase they ever forget it!

Better to reign in hell, than to serve in heaven girl!

BL

P.S Sex and a BBBJ to explosion in a good southern baptist church is HIGH, VERY HIGH on my sexual (going to hell) bucket list!

[Charlottehoney]

Originally Posted by LondonSub

This sounds like great advice to me. DD, as a fellow submissive, although I am not nearly as experienced as you are, I think I would feel very sad and or empty if I wasn't able to meet the various ladies who dominate me. Of course we both know since it's a "hobby" relationship, the time will come when they will either retire or quit for whatever reason. And yeah, it's especially hard because subs like us deal in fairly extreme emotional situations sometimes during a meeting (I'm very sensitive, and I cry often during a session). I think it's only human to form some kind of attachment, especially when the dominant is also providing aftercare, and you get that kind of support from them afterwards. I think for a submissive, after the relationship ends, this is probably a time when he or she needs to find some inner strength deep down and channel it into something positive. The thing I've found that has always kind of saddened me about BDSM is that ultimately Doms/Dommes don't NEED us subs, like we need them. A true dominant, could probably feel fondness for the sub, and like spending time with them, but they could easily move on to another sub. Maybe this is not entirely true, but that's what I've found in my personal experience anyway. Or maybe it's just that I'm into the more extreme forms of dominance, where they're calling me names and humiliating me etc- it's probably very hard for a dom to feel respect (let alone affection) for someone whose face they're stepping on and who they're calling all kinds of derogatory names. I dunno, maybe I'm doing it wrong but I really don't feel like the dommes who see me get anything out of it at all, I'm just another client to them, and they would not miss me if I was gone. Whereas I would go to the ends of the earth for them. It's like this huge mismatch. But like I say, this is just my personal experience. I hope you find a way to get past this period of sadness and move on to the next stage of your life. Be strong.

I lean towards Domme tendencies in my play even as a GFE. I'd love to explore the full Domme realm one day but for now I'll just use my powers of seduction to lure my men into submissive play.

With that said I don't think it's any easier for a Domme to let go than a sub. It is often the sub who rules the play telling the Domme their limits and their fantasies. In turn the Domme spends hours contemplating the intricacies of the session. This requires hours of thinking just about their sub. When thoughts of someone feed that secret part of you the everyday people in your life don't understand then a bond is formed whether you are the Domme or the sub. When they are calling you names and humiliating you it is a form of affection. And don't think they don't miss you. It leaves a void in their play just as much as it leaves a void in yours. I will admit it is easier for me to compartmentalize at times but I still miss my uber submissive playmates when they move on.

Charlottehoney

[lovesbustyblondes]

I'll chime in since I've been a Top/Dom trainer in the real world and a sexual TOP (I prefer the word TOP if a label must be used over master or Dom or The Deep Overlord of Cock) in my personal life.

Being a top/bottom, master/slave, dom or domme/submissive are simply labels that society must put on people or relationships to better try to deal with or control them.

A break up in any type of relationship be it a physical one, BDSM dynamic or a non-physical natured one is always hard on both parties. It might not be equal of course (it never is), but being a top or bottom definitely has no correlation to the pain and loss each person feels or for how long they will feel that way.

Sadly as a society we can't have two liked minded people sharing time, fantasies, passion, memories and interests together. We always without question need to label it.

Fuck buddy, one night stand, booty call, girlfriend, boyfriend, significant other, finance, hobbyist, provider, lurker, newbie, sugar daddy, trick, John, hooker, friends with benefits, mistress, escort, prostitute, call girl and on and on.

In so called, "modern society" nowadays people aren't comfortable without putting labels on themselves and others.

Bottom line...I'm just ME, you're just YOU and what WE choose to do or not do as consenting adults together at any given time in this chaotic fleeting little world is just living in that brief moment.

Two cents

BL

[LondonSub]

Originally Posted by Charlottehoney

I lean towards Domme tendencies in my play even as a GFE. I'd love to explore the full Domme realm one day but for now I'll just use my powers of seduction to lure my men into submissive play.

With that said I don't think it's any easier for a Domme to let go than a sub. It is often the sub who rules the play telling the Domme their limits and their fantasies. In turn the Domme spends hours contemplating the intricacies of the session. This requires hours of thinking just about their sub. When thoughts of someone feed that secret part of you the everyday people in your life don't understand then a bond is formed whether you are the Domme or the sub. When they are calling you names and humiliating you it is a form of affection. And don't think they don't miss you. It leaves a void in their play just as much as it leaves a void in yours. I will admit it is easier for me to compartmentalize at times but I still miss my uber submissive playmates when they move on.

Charlottehoney

Thank you so much for this post. It really opened my eyes a bit as to how we are viewed from "the other side", I never realized how much time a dominant must spend thinking about his or her submissive but it does makes sense. I think it's probably good and healthy for submissive like me to hear this from our dominant partners once in a while. Thanks again.

[lovesbustyblondes]

Originally Posted by LondonSub

Thank you so much for this post. It really opened my eyes a bit as to how we are viewed from "the other side", I never realized how much time a dominant must spend thinking about his or her submissive but it does makes sense. I think it's probably good and healthy for submissive like me to hear this from our dominant partners once in a while. Thanks again.

@LondonSub I literally have spent days, weeks and even months planning scenes, role plays and first dates with my submissive play partners.

I can and will spend 12-18 hours straight on a computer just to find the right outfit/accessories for the woman to wear or a certain public place to scout out. To me it's an escape and endless fun, so time just flys by and its exciting.

The time most experienced and loving good dommes/doms put into there subs is WAY WAY more than a traditional vanilla marriage or relationship.

This is why being a submissive is so attractive to cmany great women, they can just "be" while there dom plans and leads the way.

Also fetlife.com. collarme.com and alt.com have some great forums, advice and blogs you should look into if you haven't already. It's a great support system for both professional and non-professional tops and bottoms to connect with other like minded people that "bend" so to speak in there top or bottom direction.

Best wishes and may that slutty little Easter Bunny bring you some chocolatey goodness! :dir_bye

BL

[LondonSub]

Great post, thanks lbb.

[Guest010619]

DD, your full of love and lust and are a wonderful experience. For what it's worth, I've never forgotten our fun together.
Love ya too babe.

Originally Posted by DallasRain

well Deviant,I hope I get a good reception there when I visit...lol


I was raised REAL southern Baptist.......if you wore shorts even as a child,that was shameful! I am considered the black sheep in my family! baaaaaaaaaaaa!! Baaaaa!! lol

Dallas, that explains why your so good at dancing horizontally.

[Island]

DD, being in the lifestyle since I was very young and long before entering the hobby I must agree with what some of the others have already said. Even though it was in the hobby, when you are in a Domme/Dom/sub relationship there is an emotional bond that grows and even though it is not a life/love thing MOST of the time, it is something that you will grieve as it was a real emotion, and you are allowed to do so without feeling guilty for it.

then find yourself another Domme/Dom!