Shit You Can't Make Up!

[LazurusLong]

Where will Chapter ?? appear?

*Client deaths. Yes they happen. Be prepared. Have a plan.
*!! BTW, Panic is not a plan.
*Legal ramifications - yes, moving a body is illegal but lying to the police about said dead body is even worse.

[Spikebaby]

Originally Posted by LazurusLong

Where will Chapter ?? appear?

*Client deaths. Yes they happen. Be prepared. Have a plan.
*!! BTW, Panic is not a plan.
*Legal ramifications - yes, moving a body is illegal but lying to the police about said dead body is even worse.

Excellent idea for a chapter! Thanks for planting the seed.
For the record, however, I have all my clients sign a waiver when they walk through the doors to my monkey lair. See below for a copy

I ______________ release Jenna (and her monkey) from any incidents/responsibility that may happen during our monkey training. I agree that if I become unconscious, comatose, stop breathing or drop dead or incapacitated in any form during our training Jenna (and her monkey) can roll my nakid body up, push me out the front door and scream "FIRE"

Signature_____________
DATE________________

Person to contact in case of emergency and to wipe out all info on my computer and phone______________

[Laura Lynn]

That's pretty funny stuff. I love the release idea.lol

[LazurusLong]

Originally Posted by Spikebaby

Excellent idea for a chapter! Thanks for planting the seed.

Some more ideas for the chapter that may need to be addressed.

Is it best for the provider to call from:

A) Room phone
B) Work phone
C) Personal phone

Should her first call be to her pimp/boyfriend/manager or 9-1-1?

Does it pose additional problems if the pimp/manager/boyfriend is hiding in the bathroom or closet when the client dies? Should he stick around or risk getting caught given his fingerprints will be all over the place?

Will the provider get in trouble if she empties the trash can with all the used condoms while waiting for the paramedics and police?

If the provider is hosting at her incall, and she routinely videotapes all her sessions, should she tell the police and give them a copy of the session or simply post it on xvideos?

[pyramider]

Originally Posted by Spikebaby

Excellent idea for a chapter! Thanks for planting the seed.
For the record, however, I have all my clients sign a waiver when they walk through the doors to my monkey lair. See below for a copy

I ______________ release Jenna (and her monkey) from any incidents/responsibility that may happen during our monkey training. I agree that if I become unconscious, comatose, stop breathing or drop dead or incapacitated in any form during our training Jenna (and her monkey) can roll my nakid body up, push me out the front door and scream "FIRE"

Signature_____________
DATE________________

Person to contact in case of emergency and to wipe out all info on my computer and phone______________

Never release the monkey from responsibility for its actions.

Damnit Spikebaby, its spelled nekkid.

[Gentlemen Rendezvous]

Chapter - Suggestion

Rendezvous with the incredible I will volunteer to guest write one chapter

[Lauren Lane]

As an often when the fun allows occupant of the Monkey Lair. I have had an at length discussion with one long time nekkid friend. If he croaks in the hacienda, I have permission to roll his nekkid ass out and leave nearby with a little yellow flag tied around his wiener so no one trips over him.

Oh, and if I say, hey would you like me to turn the shower on for you???? Wait that has been mentioned. I personally cleanse the cooter before I leave home and then again once I arrive at the monkey lair before you arrive. It should be noted that the distance between the two is 15 minutes at best. Ummmm, so you showered at 7:30 am. Oh yeah, your good. Not. And if uncircumcised please pull back the skin when cleansing.

[pyramider]

Originally Posted by Lauren Lane

As an often when the fun allows occupant of the Monkey Lair. I have had an at length discussion with one long time nekkid friend. If he croaks in the hacienda, I have permission to roll his nekkid ass out and leave nearby with a little yellow flag tied around his wiener so no one trips over him.

Oh, and if I say, hey would you like me to turn the shower on for you???? Wait that has been mentioned. I personally cleanse the cooter before I leave home and then again once I arrive at the monkey lair before you arrive. It should be noted that the distance between the two is 15 minutes at best. Ummmm, so you showered at 7:30 am. Oh yeah, your good. Not. And if uncircumcised please pull back the skin when cleansing.

I just want a full sized orange traffic cone over my 1.3" of dangling death. I want the curious to be surprised.

[Lauren Lane]

Originally Posted by pyramider

I just want a full sized orange traffic cone over my 1.3" of dangling death. I want the curious to be surprised.

Can you imagine their surprise the cone is pulled back. Hey you EMS workers, do ya'll draw straws, rock scissors or just who is low man on the totem to determine who gets the honors?

[Texas Tourist]

Great topic, Jenna.

How about a chapter featuring your recent trip to Ireland. A special paragraph or two on the lucky redhead kid that you met. I recall you said his name was Patrick FitsJenna...

[The Plumber]

Originally Posted by LazurusLong

Where will Chapter ?? appear?

*Client deaths. Yes they happen. Be prepared. Have a plan.
*!! BTW, Panic is not a plan.
*Legal ramifications - yes, moving a body is illegal but lying to the police about said dead body is even worse.

Wow, your post talking about someone dying made me think of real life situation that a provider shared with me. She is an independent with an incall and she scheduled a session with a sickly old man who was overweight. He arrived and before things could get going, he started having a heart attack. He was in distress but refused to ask for an ambulance or anything. After about 30 minutes, he improved, but he stayed another half of an hour just talking trash about different people on Eccie and bragging about taking pictures of hobbyists license plates and following them to IHOP and other weird stuff like that. The poor gal was terrified by the whole thing.

Maybe the screening process will have to start including a current EKG along with references? LOL!

[pyramider]

Originally Posted by Lauren Lane

Can you imagine their surprise the cone is pulled back. Hey you EMS workers, do ya'll draw straws, rock scissors or just who is low man on the totem to determine who gets the honors?

Hey, those poor working stiffs would be honored just to get a glance at my 1.3" of dangling death.

[pyramider]

Originally Posted by Texas Tourist

Great topic, Jenna.

How about a chapter featuring your recent trip to Ireland. A special paragraph or two on the lucky redhead kid that you met. I recall you said his name was Patrick FitsJenna...

Should be a short story ... went to the pub, got drunck with a bunch of McSomethings and O'Shits, poorly sang Irish drincking songs, passed out. Woke up and repeated the previous day.

[Spikebaby]

Originally Posted by pyramider

Should be a short story ... went to the pub, got drunck with a bunch of McSomethings and O'Shits, poorly sang Irish drincking songs, passed out. Woke up and repeated the previous day.

Well.....Pyrimader you obviously have not seen the monkey and I in action. You left out quite a bit in your scenario. It was definitely a little more interesting than a juke til you puke scene. Just sayin

[pmdelites]

spikebaby, great idea!!!
if you need any from a client's view point, i have about 17 yrs of stories :^)
hope none of your stories involve me!!!

tho, one halloween, i took my provider date down to Cedar Springs for the gay halloween street party. we picked up a Bo-Peep who was this 6'4" incredibly introverted and quiet gay guy but he cut out before we could have any halloweenie fun.


as i was returning from my vacation recently flying over the pacific ocean, i listened to "The Beatles" aka White Album.
i almost knocked over my rum & coke when this song came on...
some great words that aptly fit you and your monkey!

a different version than the one on the album.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MN6ejvcV9Vs

and this version from the album w/ nice images in the video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCE0z4V3USQ&feature=kp

thanks to you and your monkey!!!!
glad that i have not hidden from you two.
and hope to cum visit you soon!!