Things not to do in public.

[MrMikeD]

Can I post reviews to eccie while driving? jk

Having been a restaurant manager all my life, some more restaurant rules to add:
-put out the CIG while you pay for and get your food in the drive thru. This rule also applies to blunts
-hang up the phone while ordering your food, drive thru, dine in, full service, whatever
if your kids can't behave in public, get your food to go.
- waiters and waitresses aren't there just for you to be a dick to

I could go on for days, but I've got a date to get ready for. Treat for this trick.

[jjchmiel78]

Driving
When you are travelling Eastbound Interstate and there is a simple rear end accident moved over to the should on the Westbound lane, there is no reason for you to slowdown with alone stop!!!

[Quantum007]

I'm with Gia, let's hear it for the camel toe! That being said, Camel Toe's nasty step child Moose Knuckle is a big no-no.

And I was in the gym today for a workout and a participant was checking their smart phone during a workout. Really?

[schmuckenputz]

Some people, seems even like a majority these days, seem to think car time IS phone time. That is so fucking backwards! They walk out of their house , get in the car, and before pulling out of the driveway are on the phone! I see it every day. My next door neighbor has a phone held between shoulder and ear as she tries to buckle her 1 year old into the car seat as she leaves for work in the morning! REALLY ????? Sorry, I'm not holding a phone to my ear while I try to do ANYTHING with a kid in my arms...God Damn cell phones may be the worst thing that ever happened to this world!

I hollered at a guy using his phone ( I thought he was texting but he informed me he was dialing a call, which I think is the same thing, but he thought that made it ok) and his response at the end of our repartee was "when else am I supposed to make a call??" Really?? In the middle of 5 o'clock traffic driving up 72nd st. while you bob and weave and miss lights, etc. because you're paying more attention to you phone than to traffic???? REALLY ??? No, I really don't have a thing about people and their fucking phones!!! Not REALLY !!! lol

[Bigh1955]

Pet Peeves
In Public:
Don't pick your teeth, nose, or ass...ever. If you do, wash your hands before fingering the fruit or shaking hands - especially mine.
Don't wear spandex if you're more than 15 pounds overweight.
In Private:
Don't fart during oral sex.

[The Good Names Are Taken]

Bringing a baby to the movie theater. Get a sitter!
Texting during a movie as if nobody can see the giant glow from your phone.

[Ms.Lady Y]

Don't leave the house without a bra if you are 400 lbs and your tits hit your knees, this goes for guys too.
Don't wear a size 20 when you should be in a 30.
Don't sit out on a park bench making out where kids are playing, get a room!
Don't say hey sexy, baby etc when a pretty girl walks by, it makes you look and sound ghetto.
Don't wear a shirt that doesn't cover all of your stomach, just cause you can't see the roll doesn't mean we want to.
If you haven't showered in a week stay home. We can smell you!

[mbinlincoln]

Originally Posted by Ms.Lady Y

Don't leave the house without a bra if you are 400 lbs and your tits hit your knees, this goes for guys too.
Don't wear a size 20 when you should be in a 30.
Don't sit out on a park bench making out where kids are playing, get a room!
Don't say hey sexy, baby etc when a pretty girl walks by, it makes you look and sound ghetto.
Don't wear a shirt that doesn't cover all of your stomach, just cause you can't see the roll doesn't mean we want to.
If you haven't showered in a week stay home. We can smell you!

Jeez, Lady Y has been seeing (and smelling) me in public again.

[Still Looking]

Burk I have a lot of Hobby Related SL Top 10 lists. You guys let me know if you want more...

SL’S TOP 10 You Know Your Fat & Ugly When

1) You know you’re Fat & Ugly when if after an accident the ambulance takes you to an animal clinic.
2) You know you’re Fat & Ugly when you pay a hooker but still have to beg to have sex.
3) You know you’re Fat & Ugly when people at Walmart ask if they can take your picture.
4) You know you’re Fat & Ugly when you have Olympic sex, every four years.
5) You know you’re Fat & Ugly when kids go out at Halloween looking like you.
6) You know you’re Fat & Ugly when you walk up to the makeup counter at the mall, and the girls say “Holly Shit!”
7) You know you’re Fat & Ugly when someone reaches down to pet your cat, but it’s actually the hair on your legs.
8) You know you’re Fat & Ugly when you had to put a bag on your head and one on the dog so he would hump your leg.
9) You know you’re Fat & Ugly when you’ve scared a blind person without ever making a sound.
10) You know you’re Fat & Ugly when you were born your parents named you “Shit Happens”.

[Still Looking]

SL’S TOP TEN THINGS YOU KNOW ITS GOING TO BE A BAD SESSION
1) When you go to wash your hands and the trash can has no less than 6 visible used condoms in it with 3 on the floor. As you walk back into the room the provider just gave her kitty a shot of Fabreeze.
2) When after inviting you in as she stands behind the door her large breed dog runs up and starts sniffing your crouch.
3) When you arrive early to check out the in call you notice the provider reading a copy of Pimp’s & Ho’s with her friend Omar.
4) When you get a text in route to the in call asking you to bring condoms, an energy drink and smokes.
5) When a two call system turns into a 1-2 hour Google Voice Texting reschedule.
6) When the first thing you’re told is that she works for tips and unless you’re unhappy she expects at least $50-$100 extra.
7) When you’re walking up to the room you see three guys leaving the room.
8) When you’re walking into the hotel lobby the hotel manager “high fives” you and says third floor to the right!
9) When you pull up to the in call and it looks like they are filming an episode of cops.
10) When the door opens and someone obviously wearing a wig in a deep voices says “hi there”.

[Still Looking]

SL'S Top 10 What To As A Bored Hobbyist
1) Go ask WakeUp & Pyramider a few stupid questions. You’re in for a day or week of fun!
2) Start a threAD about NBA... that’s never been done before.
3) Post jokes in the AR forum and see if they get it.
4) Send a PM to Sexy Brittany and tell her you hate her new bolt on’s.
5) Try and set an appointment with Shayla in Toronto and ask if she does out call.
6) Pick out any provider that’s posting and insult them. Tell them Fast Gun sent you! Always call them “bitches” they like that, according to FG.
7) Ask Pyramider to post “taint” pictures.
8) Start a threAD about BBW'S and see how many people you can piss off.
9) Send PM'S to a bunch of MODS and tell them you only have 10 handles and you can't seem to get the 11th one to work.
10) Start a threAD and ask MsElena if she wants to make $20 the hard way!

[Still Looking]

SL’S TOP 10 HOW TO PICK A PROVIDER
1) Does the provider have 3 “alerts” or less?
2) Does the provider weigh less than 500 LBS. after making hobbyist sliding scale adjustments?
3) Does the provider have a pimp, if so does he carry jumper cables?
4) Does the providers tattoos that look more like brands rather than art work?
5) Does the providers butt cheeks allow for little SL to make at least 50% penetration?
6) Does the provider’s screening include calling any of my family members?
7) Does the provider have a history of smelling like she just got back from a three day tuna fishing trip?
8) Does the provider see less than 10 clients per day?
9) Does the provider’s ad / show case look like it could have come right out of BP?
10) Does the provider have a penis larger than mine? I hate competition!

[Still Looking]

SL'S TOP 10 THINGS MAKING YOU BAT SHIT CRAZY

1) You have considered ECCIE handles like “Fuck You Shit Head”
2) When the person you are arguing with stops posting but you don’t, even after they close their account.
3) You ask questions like, “I bet you think you’re cute?”
4) You post openly about giving MODS free sessions.
5) You wear a wig even when you’re by yourself.
6) You have had more accounts than SL has reviews.
7) You claim you don’t need to advertise as a BBW.
8) Your idea of be patriotic is not giving a service man the clap.
9) You have taken three Rosetta Stone courses and no one knows what the hell you’re talking about.
10) You answer questions with questions that end by saying, “so what do you think about that ass hole?”

[Still Looking]

SL’S TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR NSNC

1) I had unexpected company, my period and my sister.
2) Your references checked out, that scared me.
3) I was possessed, but I saw an exorcist.
4) I missed my 4 flights, damn airlines.
5) My last client had turrets, he knocked over a candle and my in call burned down.
6) I forgot the session before you was a doubles but in two different cities.
7) The free clinic was packed, I’m ready now.
8) I ran out of “large” condoms, you do wear large right?
9) I decided to go lesbian
10) I thought you were just kidding when you said “right fucking now”.

[Still Looking]

SL'S Top 10 Open Minded Questions

1) Hey will you do doubles with me and my duck?
2) Can I bring my cheering section?
3) I like choking, till I get the money back, does that work for you?
4) Have you ever tasted poop?
5) Ex-baseball player, can I bring my bat?
6) Ever screwed in a coffin?
7) I'm bring plastic, duct tape, rope and an iguana if that’s OK?
8) Do you do out calls near the Prison?
9) Will your dad be in the room with us?
10) At the end of the session how about we flip double or nothing?