A Polite Reminder to the Ladies of Things That Should Be Perfectly Obvious

[Jemma Martin]

Originally Posted by Still Spunky

Yeah. This is coming from the girl that just lays there. Seems you still have t made yourself comfortable yet.

Judge me all you want. Me and my regulars are just happy. They get what they want. Good day sir.

[sexxytexxan]

Originally Posted by Jemma Martin

Me and my regulars are just happy. They get what they want.

What else matters?

[samabcd]

Bro this is hilarious and well said. Lesson Fifth and Sixth are awesome. Absolutely spot on :-)

[Donkey Dips]

Best shit I've read on here in a while!!!

[jeffz]

Oh, and one more thing: Ladies, if, after 7-15 minutes of intense sex in a room that you didn't adequately air-condition because "you're always cold", yes, it is, in fact, INSULTING to ask a man if he's ON DRUGS because he's sweating. We're not intrigued that YOU sweat when you put powder up your nose. A guy just burned 300 + calories in a 78 degree room and a) The only explanation you can come up with is that he must be on blow or meth, and b) You just HAVE to verbalize EVERY single thought you have? Shutting up not an option?

[pyramider]

Dude, it's okay ... just rub one out.

[AllisonofHouston]

Originally Posted by pyramider

Dude, it's okay ... just rub one out.

Right ? geez hun take it easy....

[HoustonOil]

Picking myself off the floor..! Priceless....

[heinz5710]

Originally Posted by Out_of_Bounds

Ninth lesson: I remember that one. I'm in my b-day suit laying on the bed and she asks me if I can get myself hard. I said sure but I'll be taking my money back for doing your job. She did what she's supposed to needless to say.

Let's get real gents! You can get hard just thinking about what is to come and you can even do it without the lady. It isn't her job to get you that way. It is a natural process. I suspect most of you have never heard of erectile dysfunction. Your mind is your most important sex organ and YOU aren't the one who gives her an orgasm. In fact, while you think you are the most verile gentlemen out there, you can be easily fooled in to thinking the climaxes are real. See the movie "When Harry Met Sally!" I think the ladies need a new category in the 'what will you accept behind closed doors' field. That category would be ED tolerant. Some ladies are in the business for the pleasure as well as the money. Most of the others are making a business arrangement. I'm an older man with a prostate condition. Cialis does not make me wood. However, I enjoy a woman's mouth on me and I still climax. Leave your arrogance at home and remember that you have contracted a business arrangement that is supposed to be like a GFE to you. Try to make it like a BFE for her. Maybe in her mind, as soon as you see her chamber of love you should get an erection? If she asks you, it might be because you have both realized what got you there. If you don't have ED your answer to her question might be 'why don't you touch it or suck it and we'll see what comes up! The hostility ruins the experience for both.

[lostincypress]

One might expect a "hurry up and finish" attitude from a $50 SW car date but, as the $$ perr hour rises the level of accommodation should follow. No bigger "buzz kill" than the first 5 minutes spent negotiating the "no's" and being lectured to like a 1st grade student. Providers are due the respect any service provider should receive...well, except for my AC repair company...it was 95 upstairs yesterday....where are they. Thoughtful post Heinz5710.....so how do you get those last few drops out of the bottle? 40 years of hobbying and my experience has been the higher the dollars the more intense the GPS effect. Stay thirsty. Most providers, absent the make up, heels, MM's, weave, etc., wouldn't get a second look at your local HEB. It's about the fantasy. When the provider immediately turns it into a "Rocky Horror Picture Show" those little doubts can bring on ED in even the most verile man, If I just want to get off I can stay home and talk to my hand.

[heinz5710]

Originally Posted by enderwiggin

Since there've been a handful of "No-Fucking-Duh" reminder threads from the ladies, I thought it was timely for one of the guys here to remind the providers of a few things. Granted, only the shittiest of providers would do any of these things, so this obviously doesn't apply to any of you ladies here *wink, wink* So, if it doesn't apply to you, my dears, please feel free to ignore it. If it does, well then read on and take notes.

Lesson the Tenth: If I don't come, its because of you. I may not have the heart to tell you that. I may be slightly embarrassed that an hour of our time, and hundreds of my dollars all amounted to nothing. I may even be more interested in getting the fuck out of there, so much so that I'm contemplating faking a nut -- something that can actually be pulled off pretty easily. But if I don't come, its because of something you did.




sailing off a cliff.

So, there is no such thing as a frigid woman only a clumsy man? I tested that theory. My wife is frigid and therapy didn't help. I did everything the therapist suggested and the wife did NOTHING. Finally from desperation I saw a provider. Guess what! Even if she faked it, I left feeling VERY GOOD! As I got older and my prostate got bigger, ED became a problem for me. While I would love to hire a squirter and pay for a girlfriend to be there to help her have a good time while I do whatever makes me feel good ( I love oral sex), I realize those ladies a looking for a lumber yard from their clients. I just don't have that. If I see a lady, I treat her with dignity. I ask that I be treated the same regardless of my physical dysfunctions. I don't think every provider is a whore. My personal opinion is that the whores are the ones who think they just giving of themselves and have forgotten all the money spent just to be able to call it 'free.' Providers are business people doing what they enjoy. They provide a valuable service. They should be elevated on a pedistle and not degraded. Lastly, this #10 is bunk. YOU are responsible for your own orgasms. You don't even need the lady to do it. You speak of faking a nut? While I am certain that being with a woman can provide arousal in ways your hands or a rubber doll or a knothole in a fencepost can't, it isn't her job to arouse you. Conversely, I get amused when the gentlemen complains about her attitude. You even think you are paying for moans and groans. No sir, you are paying for feminine company and two people with the right attitude get the job done much better than one person who puts money on the nightstand and says "get on your knees!" I hope I have been clear. BTW if any squirters out there can put up with a man who can't get it hard but still loves how a woman makes him feel, send a private message. I'll pay for you to have a girlfriend come and help you flood the bed. I'm a pig but I will treat you with dignity if you will do the same. Forget #10. Counting orgasms of clients and men passing the fault is a waste. Enjoying life is more valuable.

Jesus, that was fun. Now lets see this

[lostincypress]

Recent polls show 70% of people DO NOT enjoy their job. "Pedestal" status I reserve for my kids and my dog and sometimes I would like to kick my kids to the curb.

[heinz5710]

So I can't spell pedestal. I was going to spell check but I needed to leave. Maybe that is a bit too high for your provider but they deserve some dignity. Even my air condition repairman gets that!

[lostincypress]

Heinz....I wasn't commenting on your spelling, just the elevation. My AC guys will be here tomorrow afternoon.....in the meantime my daughter's rats have been moved downstairs to improve their chances of survival.....this after the death of two pets, guinea pigs, placed on the patio to get some fresh air and were baked in less than an hour.....who knew. I will treat the AC Repair professionals with all the respect they are due....they were here in April....same unit but apparently different problem....I hope I can GET SOME SATISFACTION. Good luck with your hobbying efforts.

[heinz5710]

Sorry about your animals. I feel like my time is coming when I take the children out to recess. I guess I'll be retiring. I have a Dr.s appointment next week but Drs cannot do miracles. My first dose of the pill gave me a bit more energy and some dizziness. I read one neads to take at least 4 more doses to get results. But then who believes what you read on the net.